out of context

this is beyond my own understanding...

Hector bit me, Mother
but I forgive him.
I only told you so that
you'd know me.

Do you recognize my face?

I killed a woman today
but her eyes did not turn hollow.
She left behind no sadness or sorrow,
just a scent of bay.

Is it possible to go like that?

I realized I hadn't slept in a while.
why sleep,
when one has no promises to keep?
Nothing tomorrow to rest for

I killed a woman today, Mother,
and slept with a man I don't love.
Which is the greater sin?

No tree holds eyes,
and sarcasm is overrated
but if you don't psychoanalyze
would any of it make a difference?

Hector never followed me
but I took him in anyway.
I thought I might help that way,
yet, I didn't know what he was supposed to be.

Author's Note

critique appreciated

Reviews

[Alessander]

The content is morbid, as per your usual, and the content seems a bit haphazard. You produce some very strong lines

I killed a woman today, Mother,
and slept with a man I don't love.
Which is the greater sin?

Very profound.

However, some lines seem to be there just for the rhyme

No tree holds eyes,
and sarcasm is overrated
but if you don't psychoanalyze
would any of it make a difference?

I'm not sure if you should rhyme - but I understand the switching back and forth reinforces the theme of instability and internal chaos, and it's harmony or even playful contrasts with the content. Still...

Like the allusion to Frost and "miles to go before I sleep" which has been intrepreted as a suciadal poem.

Never sure who Hector is, or why he's even in the poem, but I like that. Wished the poem would've ended a bit more strongly, and I would have ended some lines at different places, but that's prob more of a subjective taste thing.

Regardless, your work never bores and makes me want more...