Memories

A Story by Hannah D

I had went through a breakup and began to write this piece mainly because I was depressed. But, then I found the love of my life and decided to turn it into a uplifting message to everyone.

The consequences of losing something that you love will never be acknowledged until you have lost it. Even so, it's not the ideology that you are losing the thing that you love but your imagination is now limited to not romp free like the mind of God can. I now realized this knowing that I won't see my boyfriend for a couple of months and even then he probably will belong to someone else. My spirit was practically torn away from his when he had told me he was leaving, as if my id had come back to haunt my conscious. My imagination was now limited to think of possible events in the future knowing whether he will be there or not. There would be no more dates, no more going over to his apartment, no more feeling as if you actually had someone that cared for you, no more having that grasp that someone could love you... no more.

As I sit outside as the grass swayed against the wind, I was within yet without. I was laying down looking up at the stars yet I was imagining the stars as people dancing together in the heavens. This made me cringe and I began to cry, knowing that I couldn't possibly feel this way about anyone again. I began to reach into my subconscious to grasp memories of when I opened myself up to possible lovers. Each time, something happened, as if my brain had disintegrated into nothing but a timeline of terrible memories. I can no longer deal with the destruction it causes in my life because I never want to go back to my original world. Yet, in reality, I never can, because in my original world I had no knowledge of these men. As he tells me of his trip to a far away place, I draw closer and closer into myself until I become nothing more than a shadow.

I just become lifeless and dark, hoping it would conceal my feelings because this trip was hard on him too. Yet I know he can see something is wrong, for I looked in the mirror, just from the look of my eyes there is nothing there. After he had left, we messaged each other every day. Yet, every day we were drawing further and further apart until we became recalled memories. Though that feeling of being forgotten until recalled hurts, do not let that feeling take over your happiness. There will be someone who you will have countless of recalled memories, the difference is that you will not be just a memory to them.