not what I wanted

I'm so broken

so I'll try to be fixed

you hand me pills

one day a dozen

and I take them all 

without a question

but I don't feel that different

cause I'm still broken

so I'll 

take this pill

hoping I'll feel better

when my body's numb

and my mind isn't that much better

wishing to feel something

when my soul has left my body

it feels like my brain is dead

and I know no peace, pain, or pleasure

I still hate myself

I still hurt

this isn't what I wanted

something is missing

this life that I'm living

it makes me feel dead

how can they sell you 

on something

that's meant to help you

then tell you it might make you wish you were...

dead?

so I'll 

take this pill

hoping I'll feel better

when my body's numb

and my mind isn't that much better

wishing to feel something

when my soul has left my body

it feels like my brain is dead

and I know no peace, pain, or pleasure

I still hate myself

I still hurt

this isn't what I wanted

this isn't

this isn't 

this isn't what I wanted

Reviews

[The_Ancient_Rock]

Poetry is a great way to express any feeling.
And this one is very well done, the reader can feel your pain.
I also take pills for sleeping. Just go easy on that.
Poetry can be good therapy.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I enjoyed reading this poem.
Take good care friend.

[Arundass TP]

A painful journey. A touch of anxiety and tears. Enjoyed reading

[M.E.Lyle]

Reading this was depressing. I could almost feel some of the pain, although, clearly not nearly as much as you. Getting your audience to feel what you feel is a talent. This pill thing worries me.
I hope things work out for you.
This was a good write, and honest to your heart.

[Zombified Spider]

the pill thing was supposed to be anti-depressants. Thank you so much for your review, I'm currently working through my emotional baggage (if one would call it that).