I'm sorry

I want to murder people

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

I was 8 years old when I questioned the value of my life

I guess that all the words got to me

my mom was dropping me at school 

when I told her

I could tell she was distressed

and those thoughts weren't constant 

yet

they birthed several hard years to come

Please don't cry mother

I know you tried your hardest

your tears aren't for nothing

I don't feel that way anymore

by the time I was 12 I was fully convinced I wanted to die

I felt no love

only empty black

All I had was dark thoughts

when I was 14 my problems felt unimportant to me

I felt insignificant in my own home

I saw how badly I hurt my mother 

and I thought I could relieve that burden

so I tried to kill myself

Please don't cry mother

I know you tried your hardest

your tears aren't for nothing

I don't feel that way anymore

I keep on changing medication

to try and stop losing focus 

I've lost my mind over and over again

Please don't cry mother

I know you tried your hardest

your tears aren't for nothing

I don't feel that way anymore

Please don't cry mother

I know you tried your hardest

your tears aren't for nothing

I don't feel that way anymore

Author's Note

:)