Sunshine

 

 

Sunshine

 

I stayed in hell thinking

    I could wait it out.

   Stay busy

til it played itself out.

Then the spasm

    next the seizure

      and the lights go out.

Still nothing to write about.

   Until I think about

        my good times on the surface

           in the sun.

How I miss my sunshine.

Reviews

[Randall Richard]

this was hard for me to relate too, i got the feel for what you were portraying, but many of your images are a bit overused, which for me often makes me reflect on other, lesser pieces that i have read, and distracts me from your theme. it's not bad, but with more original, personal language it could be better. i hate to critique something so personal if it is written from personal experience, but i think you could personalise this, put a face on the body

[Lisa]

Wow...
I think it's so amazing how so few words can express how someone feels.
Even the most simplest of words and explain the most complex feelings
and situations.
Great job H.A.M.
This was wonderful.
And as Rie said...
I hope you can find your sunshine soon.
Good luck.

[Amy Whetzell]

I suppose I should have read this one before the other one, Exit right? Both excellence writings, both were very enjoyable reads!!

[Mackenzie J. Burns]

Either way it's pretty freakin' hot!

[Bandi Brock]

This is one of them short poems that almost explains your whole emotion. I liked this alot.

[Shane Patrick]

trapped it seems in this piece... like awake in a perpetual dream state... well done..

[Gandré]

oh dear. that s is sooo outstanding short and sad. a philosophical argument. we never should go on hazard with our health!!

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I know this feeling myself. Hopefully you see the sun again soon. Thanks so much for sharing this piece with me.

[Theta S. T.]

my mom has seizures sometimes when shes coming out of one she has a moment were she'll say where did the lights go.....its weird I never really thought about it until now....

anyway, I could relate to this in so many different ways and all would led back to a beautiful write

~~Theta

[Silvia - Scribo, Ergo S..]

...hope you�ll soon see "good times on the surface of the sun" (IF this is autobiographical) ... If it is not, it�s an emphatic piece about a frightening desease frightening because (I know, a good friend of mine is epileptic) more than the fits themselves, the fear of what might bring one on debilitates). xxx

[Tessa Le Rouge]

i really enjoyed your poem. its so hopelessly hopeful.

two thumbs up! way way up!!!

sorry i just watched hercules with my cousin..heheheh

prttymchthsx!