Sunshine

 

 

Sunshine

 

I stayed in hell thinking

    I could wait it out.

   Stay busy

til it played itself out.

Then the spasm

    next the seizure

      and the lights go out.

Still nothing to write about.

   Until I think about

        my good times on the surface

           in the sun.

How I miss my sunshine.

Reviews

[Randall Richard]

this was hard for me to relate too, i got the feel for what you were portraying, but many of your images are a bit overused, which for me often makes me reflect on other, lesser pieces that i have read, and distracts me from your theme. it's not bad, but with more original, personal language it could be better. i hate to critique something so personal if it is written from personal experience, but i think you could personalise this, put a face on the body

[Caitbabie008]

Very pretty. O how i wish i wasnt in hell.

[Tenten]

alone, i feel alone with this one, 'how i miss the sunshine' the i guess flippant lines and than the last one strikes, its very good at getting me.

[Annie]

Haven't been online for months, and when i finally come back, here is H.A.M. still putting out the awesome lines like old faithful!!! hell. make 'em feel it.

[Carla]

Back for more... still brilliant!

[Ediblewhisper]

This made me feel trapped. It is sad. I'm not used to reading poems so short. it seems really lonely.

[Watson Trippy]

Sorry it took so long to review.And I hope all is well.The sunshine always comes back even when your at your lowest.

[Lydia Shutter]

"How I miss my sunshine." Not sure if you are referring to a person or an attitude here, but in any case, I can relate. Sometimes the world seems so dark that writing happy thoughts is nearly impossible. I hope this phase has passed for you. However, this is quite well written. Lydia

[Carla]

H.A.M. you never cease to amaze me with your skills. This spoke my heart very clearly right now. To loose the one thing that brings light to your life and not even realize you've lost it until you really stop and look around at what you've become or where you find yourself because of choices you've made... Such longing is described without ever saying it.

I loved this wholeheartedly.

[Self-esteem]

Wow....that's all i can say cause you said sooooo much without just putting it out there! Wow!!!

[Crystal L. Test]

Too much stress at work and in life give me major writer's block. My co-worker is retiring at the end of the month and has asked me to write a poem and read it at her party. I got nada thus far. You will find your sunshine once again. I find that I'm more inspired during the spring and summer months. Going into winter always seems so depressing. Worry not, my friend. Writing about being blocked is better than not writing at all. Have faith. :)