Various Limericks *Eskimos, Drunks and Cowboys*

Just some stuff I wrote for my dad one year.

The Eskimo had a problem with spillage He liked to drink, puke and pillage He got drunk and threw up in an elders muk-luk and was banned from the quaint little village Down the road I go a stumblin’ Talk to a stranger a bumblin’ I drank too much Of that everclear punch And now I’m laughing and tumblin’ Today I drank some champaign With the purpose to entertain I soiled my silk blouse Clumsy as a louse And now I am drinking again The old man liked to drink scotch At the three o-clock bell on his watch He’d open the cork And cheered to New York Survivors of the 9/11 botch The Irishman serenaded the bar maiden Who was amused and bosom laden He fell off his stool And felt like a fool But she liked him and took him home to McFaiden He had carried no glass for his alcohol loot He stupidly wondered what he should do He improvised a plan Involving leather tan And drank his whiskey from his cowboy boot She was delicate and pretty as a dove Briefly, he was sure he was in love The wine had disguised How large she was sized And he kicked her out of bed with a shove There once was a man from Homer Who was a wanderer and a roamer He packed a guitar Dressed completely bazaar And proved to be a tree hugging gomer There once was a man named McCrackin Who sat on his porch just a rockin' Passing, girl, dog in collar He whistled an admiring holler She gave him the bird and kept walkin'