Bar S Scene

Just a silly thing from my observations as a bartender and living in the country at a time in my life.

In boredom, I watch the cow’s across the field... The bull walks up to the cow and says, "Hey there honey, what’s going on? Nice Tail! Mind if I take a peak? Huh? Come on, baby! A tail like that should be raised high and proud... Give Papa a little sugar, huh? That scent is soooooooo alluring!" She chews her cud and without a notice, raises her tail to get him off her back...literally. He sniffs a moment, decides he does not like her attitude, and walks away, leaving her standing there in complete humiliation, tail in the air, all the other cows looking and snickering at her. "MY, how desperate Maybelle has become," says Bessie to Coco. "And to have him walk away like that! Poor heifer!" "I heard she drooled when she chewed and that he was giving her one more chance. Oh dear, looks like she did it again. She just can't handle her cud. Some of them can't you know. Drooling all over the place, stumbling to get that one magic patch of grass. Belligerent cud chewers! Why, you have to do a little at a time, I always say. Keep yourself in check at all times." says Coco. Just then, Bessie noticed the bull strolling their way, "Here he comes. Quick, chew your cud like you're making love to it and put as much tongue into it as you can." Then with a gleam in her eye, she says with a wink, "He likes that, if ya know what I mean..." Maybelle, watching these two desperate females, thinks to herself, "Screw him! I've got a nice tail and I'm proud of it! I Am Heifer! Power is in the Heifer! Besides, his left horn is a little small which means... well...ya know.... They deserve his Holy Lopsidedness." You can learn a lot from a cow if you give it a chance. I think I need to smoke a cigarette...