Shut Down

How I feel, just sitting in the living room with my roommates

And this is what I do
What a child am I
The moment a social gathering is mentioned
Or I meet another with similar
Creative interests
I become crippled and inferior
Shaking in my boots
My voice shrinks
My mind is domed by a hovering cloud
Dark and Endless
My eyes become dry
No ,they don't soak 
With salty tears
They stare
Off into the sad abyss
That is my reflection
My eyes are paralyzed
By silent thoughts
That have no voice
But the most physical effect
A caved in chest
Heavy breathing
Every bit of my strength
Refusing to scratch out my eyes
And pull out my hair
Because that
Would just add on to the migraine
I have been dragging on and on
Much like the cigarettes
People are so confused on why I smoke
Don't you see?
I am terribly self destructive
My world opens up
And I shut down

Reviews

[hi]

ok that is a good poem and i love it

[sinNsincerity]

This was so awesome because I totally see myself in these words. The anxiety is so strong.
"I have been dragging on and on
Much like the cigarettes."
People ask and harass me in the same fashion.
i stop making attempts people because they simply won't understand the things that run through my head.
Bravo Ashlyn.

[Lorry]

I feel your words. The hardest thing to convey to anyone is how we truly feel, but when you add in the panic of being around others, when it should be a time to enjoy, is perplexing to most. To others, it resonates what we too feel and the feeling you are fighting yourself in a fight to the death, where only part of you shall be victorious. Honest and emotionally charged words, given enough time to mature into clarity, in an often confusing world and mind. Nicely captured.

[Traci]

"My world opens up
And I shut down"

I loved this because it's so raw, emotions and a sense of self destruction we all can relate to at some point in our lives. The imagery was excellent, taking me to the dark abyss, the darkness where your words become so much more than just words. The fear, the anxiety, I can feel. True artistry through beautiful haunting words.

Favorited. 100/100

[Brooke]

Oh wow! This is so me!...minus the smoking. I suck at any kind of poem, haiku, etc so I probably can't give you a good review on the structure, but I love the content! The way you described everything is the exact thoughts I have in that situation. The idea of socializing with others, even people who have similar interests, is terrifying for me. My mind goes blank and fear creeps in. "What if they don't like me? What if they don't want to be friends with me?" Those kinds of questions, always accompanied by a tornado of dark shadows and self-doubt, drive me crazy. I always want to sink into that comfortable black abyss...but that's when I have to remember that doing that only ensures a short life.

This is my opinion but I truly loved this! I love how so many people can look at things differently yet sometimes come to the same view as someone else. It's incredible...Humans can be truly incredible.

[Adam Adams]

self destruction comes when we loose the way of living.. & forgets for wht we have to live because sometimes, we're all lost in the boundaries of OWN darkness that further stop us all moving ahead & meet light. I sorta like the metaphoric composition of ur thoughts. she's seemed much into her own "dark side of sun" that keeps her from... illuminations, rresulting, "self destructive" force & a stimuli she becomes segregating herself from the airport of world. nice imagery here!