Valentine's Day~Part 2

Sarah is desperate...

The hospital was a very depressing building, white outside, and white inside, way too bright for me. The woman at the desk when I entered looked up, and probably saw the wild look on my face, because she beckoned to me almost immediately and looked sympathetically at me. I was indeed very wild and probably near hysteria when I asked for Jacob's room number. I could not get the words out, they stuck in my throat every time. She tried to help me, suggesting a range of ages, if it was an emergency. I could only nod, and even that was hard. My eyes darted this way and that, trying to see if he could appear magically out of somewhere. I ran a hand through my hair and closed my eyes a moment as the woman searched for information.

“ Upstairs second floor,” she finally said. “ Room two-o-seven,” she pointed to the elevator. I sprang to it, I kept tapping the buttons wildly, but the stupid thing wouldn’t come. So I took the stairs, taking them by twos and not caring if I was out of breath. I was perfectly fine, compared to Jacob’s probable state. I jogged down the hall when I reached the second floor. People turned around to look at me. They were probably wondering what could be happening to me right now, staring at my ruffled hair, and the small bandage covering part of my forehead. I really did not care how I looked, what mattered was getting to Jacob and telling him how sorry I was, that everything was my fault, and that I loved him, I loved him and he had to pull through. I couldn’t have him on my conscience all my life, I would not survive, I would have to throw myself from a rooftop, I didn’t know why I felt this way, I just did. Jacob was my life. We had already made plans for the future. It might sound a bit rash from two seventeen years old, but we wanted to get married. We had decided on it when we had enough money to pay a small apartment somewhere in a city, far away from our parents. But our real dreams were to have a cottage, somewhere in the mountains, and live far away from these places. No one would really have believed us if we had told them that if they didn’t know us. We didn’t have the look, especially not Jacob.

Two-o-seven the lady had said. Here it was. The door was wide open, and I didn’t peer inside before coming in. I guess I should have, it would have saved a few steps worth some energy. The walls were clean and white, like everything else. So was the one bed that lay there, fresh and clean and…empty.

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I'm sitting all huddled against the back wall of the house. I'm staring out over the garden at the desert in the far west. I hear a car in front of the house, the jingling of keys, and I know mom's home. The door creaks open, and I hear her take off her shoes through the open door of the veranda. I know she's going to be mad when she sees the broken phone table and snapped cables. I'm surprised she hasn't already stumbled on it. I bury my face in my arms, blocking out any light there could be. There isn't any though. Everything has faded out, how long ago ? Half an hour, an hour ago ? Is it more, is it less ? I'm not really certain, I've lost track of time. Mom doesn't seem to be too worried about the broken stuff around the house. Because there is a lot of broken stuff around. I've only talked about the little table, but earlier, I broke the mirror in the bathroom, I smashed a drawer from my desk, I nearly killed my little gold fish when I broke its aquarium but I got him back in water in time. I feel sick. My stomach churns, completely turned upside down. A knot tightens in my throat, the same one, the same feeling as when I found an empty white bed in the hospital, as clean, all fresh, all untouched by what should have been a bloody body.

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If some nurse hadn't come around and seen me standing abashed in the doorway, I would have screamed and thrashed and everything would have been much worse than it already was.

" What are you doing here sweetheart ? There's nobody in that room." I can see that, I wanted to scream at her. But I didn't, because she looked too kindly and gentle to be able to scream at her like that. She had pale lips, and looked pretty young herself. Her eyes reminded me so much of... I snapped out of it.

" I-" was all I could muster the strength to say. I breathed in and started talking so fast, I could not understand even myself. " There was a boy here...the woman downstairs...Jacob...said...he's been...I don't know.... got to find him." She understood me. She probably had experience with people like me. Maybe another woman had once been in such a radical place as I now was.

" Come on downstairs miss, we'll figure it out with the--" she was pressing the elevator button. I wasn't about to wait for it to come to us so I took the stairs to go down. I ignored her calling out after me. I reached downstairs and interrupted the conversation between the lady behind the counter and someone else.

" Please," I said, my voice cracking. " He's not up there. No one's been in that room number you gave me, I have to know where he is." The lady looked at me, maybe surprised at this sudden interruption and the lack of politeness with which I spoke.

" If you'll wait, young lady, I can find where he is," she replied, and it sounded almost like a reproach. I couldn't let this pass, no matter how innocent that woman looked. I could clearly tell she had never been in a situation like this.

" WAIT ?!" I shouted, tears swelling in my eyes, though it was anger. The hall became silent, and everyone turned to look at us, I was very aware of it. " Wait ?" I repeated. " He's probably dying, and you're telling me to wait ?" I was becoming nearly hysterical, and I wished I could have slammed down my fist on the counter, but I didn't. I stood glaring at her. She didn't reply anything, I was in too much of a state and anything she would have said would have frustrated me more than anything. She typed really quickly in the computer.

" Name," she asked mechanically.

" Sarah--"

" His."

" Jacob--"

" Gibbs, yes I remember." She looked over the files. She frowned at the screen. " There's nothing there...Ah wait, I remember, it was a boy with black hair, no ?"

" Yeah," I said, nodding frantically.

" They transferred him to St Andrew's, there was not the care here."

" St Andrew's ?"

" I'm sorry sweetheart," the woman said, and I turned away, jogging to the door. Sorry ! She didn't look in the least sorry. St Andrew's ? It was where all the predestined people went. My Jacob, going to die ? Because of me ? I was not going to let that happen. I was ready to give my own life so that he could breathe without fearing death or anything in the likes of it. As I came out of the Hospital, I slammed into Harry. He had car keys in his hands.

" Hey Harry," I tried to get past, but he took hold of my arm.

" Wait a sec," he said, his expression probably as pained as my own. " These are Jake's car keys. I thought you might want to get the car back to his parents."

" I'm going first to St Andrew's. I'm glad you brought those car keys."

" I'll go with you."

" If you want to," I said already running away. St Andrew's was twenty miles off, in the next big city. Harry was my savior. He was right behind me and jumped in the passenger seat. I didn't have my driver's license with me, but I didn't care. I would do anything for Jacob, anything. I turned the key and we were speeding away.

" I'm sure he'll be fine," he said quietly, looking out the window. The airconditionner was on, but it felt not cold enough. I tried to turn the fan on higher, but it couldn't, it was the highest.

" Hannah didn't seem to think the same thing," I tried to remain as calm as he was, but my lips were trembling, my fingers were shaking on the wheel.

" Girls exagerate all the time," Harry replied gently. I didn't feel like arguing, so I didn't add anything else and concentrated on the road. The grey color kept hurting my eyes, the light reflecting onto it. " Do you want me to take the wheel ?" Harry asked. I knew he wasn't trying to hurt me, that I was shaking all over and that every few seconds we do left and right and the car jumps up and down. I was still hust anyway, though I knew if I kept there, we'd probably end up in an accident. But he kept it cool, didn't pressure me. I thought at that moment that maybe he would be option two if I didn't go out with Jacob. I had to hit myself in the stomach and cough, my fingers trembling. How could I think about that at such a moment ? I was disgusted with myself. You don't deserve Jacob, a voice in my head now kept saying.

Author's Note

this is the second part to "Valentine's Day--Part 1", i haven't finished this part, so wait a bit and you'll have the continuing part...