Chapter 1 ~ Phone Call

Addax's mom has been dead from quite some time, yet, the woman claims she is Heidi Jeffery, Addax's mom...

I was sitting cross-legged on the couch, my hands limp on my knees, staring at the television screen, uninterested. Outside, I heard the doors of the cars slam and the feet and voices shuffling towards the house. Somewhere behind me, the door opened. Jeremiah’s voice was loudest than the rest, laughing his head off at some hilarious joke someone had told him. I heard him snort when someone"Andreas ?"told him to shut up. I was starting to get a headache as soon as they were home. I supposed my bright idea of them leaving all day hadn’t positively worked out.

“ Ugh.” I sighed, shutting my eyes tightly and pressing my fingertips against my temples. Someone came up behind me and patted my head in passing. Kyle, I supposed.

“ Not feeling any better, Adie ?” he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and put it on the low table, then sitting back into the sofa, making it vibrate, close to me. I didn’t open my eyes. There was no point. He put an arm on the top of the sofa, around my shoulders, but without touching me. He was very close. Too close. I could feel his breath which smelled of honey sweeping over. I guessed his lips were just inches away.

“ No,” I mumbled, wondering if he had understood what I’d just said. Then I turned my face to the other side so I did not have to breath in his sweet breath. I didn’t hear or feel him move, he just remained sitting there, and his train of thought must have been pretty intense because the pain doubled. I clenched my jaw tightly. “ And you’re not helping,” I said through clenched teeth. “ Why don’t you go upstairs with the others,” I didn’t say it as a question, but more as a statement with a hint of desperation in it.

“ Sorry,” he sighed. “ That might be better.” The sofa moved again as he got up.

“ Tell me Kyle, were you playing the honey contest out there ?”

“ How’d you know ?” he chuckled. “ Yes we were. Are you jealous ?”

“ No,” I replied quickly, smiling. “ I hate being a bee, you’re so vulnerable.” He laughed again at that, too loud for my taste. My smile vanished to be replaced by a grimace.

“ Oops,” he said apologetically. I nodded.

“ It’s nothing,” I lied. “ I’ll get by.”

“ Where’s Jackie ?”

“ Upstairs,”  I grinned and I could feel the warmth of his blush gush into the room. “ And be nice to her, she spent the whole day getting the evening ready to entertain you lot,” I finally opened my eyes, looking meaningfully at him. The embarrassment in his eyes was curiosity now. He turned away but I stopped him. “ Kyle, you might want to take your wallet. Some of the boys might prank on you.” He seemed to agree with that, then as he picked it up, his gaze met mine, and for some reason, I wanted very badly to blush, but I stayed composed and kept my eyes rid of all…the shyness that suddenly tried to overtake me. It took me a great effort of self-control to hide my real feelings. His brown eyes were soft and he looked hesitant to ask me something.

“ What is it you want to say ?” I asked, trying to prompt him to tell me. I hated when people hid things away from me. He was still considering and made me grow impatient. “ Just say it,” I said slightly more cuttingly than I wanted. He ultimately gave in.

“ I was just wondering how you do it,” he said quietly, stepping closer.

“ Do what ?”

“ Track people. Find exactly what we’re looking for. Like for Freddy. How did you know where he would be ? Who he would be ? How did you know he was meant to be with us ?” I could see the loss on his face and I looked down at the mute TV screen.

“ No one’s meant to anything,” I muttered under my breath. We were silent a moment, and when I saw he wasn’t about to let it go, I sighed, strangely angry at present, but cooled myself down. “ I don’t know how to explain it,” I started slowly, trying to think about how I could show him. “ It’s really a feeling I get, I think,” I said hesitantly, wondering if that was the right word. He didn’t mind my hesitation, he was watching my face. I felt the hotness of my blood bubble toward my cheeks, but I restrained it. Why was I like that ? It was just Kyle.

“ Actually, it’s a mixture of loads of things. So first of all, it’s like a knot in my stomach. Always starts like that,” I said, forcing myself to continue talking to try and make the words fit and flow flawlessly. “ Then I get strange ideas, have thoughts that are no mine"the ones of the person I am unconsciously trying to get at. So I don’t really do it on purpose. At this point, all I know is that the person is only capable in strength to be like us, I just have no idea if they are pure hearted.” I paused a moment. I looked up and he was as still as a statue, still looking at me, listening very closely to each word I said. “ And then the premonitions start. Just feelings about what is to happen and where. Not like visions.”

“ And if you go there at the right time, then you find the person ?”

“ Oh, I always know the right time,” I sounded a bit too innocent. “ What I don’t know is : who it is in the place, so I have to try and summon the thoughts, ideas from the person and to feel their strength and get a good sense of how they see themselves, and most of the time, I only need that to spot the person. Sometimes I have to rummage through their memories, as I did to Jamie, just to make sure that at some point they were thinking the things that I had previously heard.” I stopped, and looked up at him. He seemed slightly off balance.

“ Sorry,” I said, grimacing again. “ I’ve just thrown a lot at you. I’ll go easy on you next time.”

“ Tell me more, like how you trap them,” I was surprised by the intensity with which he spoke and the bright look in his eyes.

“ I don’t trap them,” I replied bluntly, my eyes straying down to the TV screen again. “ Zack does that.”

“ But you help him set it up,” he pointed out. I rolled my eyes, and stood up from the couch, picking up the remote control from the small table and turning the screen off.

“ I’ll explain more tomorrow,” I promised, suddenly very glum. He must have realized that our conversation had drifted off to the wrong topic. He followed me as I moved to the hall, and picked out my pair of shoes from a pile, wrinkling my noise at the smell.

“ Where are you going ?” he sounded surprised.

“ Out,” I said a bit too sharply. I didn’t like it when people asked what I was doing, or going to do, it felt like I had no free will.

“ Alright, alright. Don’t stay out too late, you know the rules from the top,” he said, just so that he wouldn’t be the one in the defeat zone.

“ I know,” I said.

“ By the way, your mom called,” he said, as I opened the door. A gust of wind entered and I shivered, but not because of the cold. The wind was warm, like it was supposed to be at the end of spring. I was frozen my back to him, then I turned slowly.

“ Are you sure it was my mom on the phone ?” I @#!*% my head at him, pretending to be alright, just looking sceptical.

“ Positive. At least, the woman said so. She asked you to call back soon anyway and left me a number, here,” he handed me a small wrinkled piece of paper he took out of his wallet and handed it to me. There was no doubt a number written there.

“ And why did she call on your cell ?” I raised an eyebrow.

“ She didn’t. She called on yours. Remember ? You landed your phone to Andreas.”

“ Oh right,” I replied, pretending to drop it. I shuddered again. He stared at me curiously and I tried to smile. “ I think I’m going to take a sweater,” I said, taking a green sweater off one of the coat hooks. He looked at me incredulously. I shrugged and turned away, leaving him behind as I shut the door. Once outside, I let the puzzled expression, the confusion, the shock, take over. I was worried about Zack. After my last fight with him (about something quite insignificant actually) he had gone, disappeared out of thin air. That was already four days. That worried me, certainly. But what I couldn’t get my hand on was about my mother calling me. She couldn’t have, it was impossible. First, she didn’t my cell number, or our quarters’ home number. She would have no idea of where I was, and she would think I was dead anyway since the police claimed to have found my body"which of course was not true, just another body of someone unlucky who had burned in a fire. But what bothered me most was that my mother couldn’t have even thought about these things, looked for me at all. She had died years ago, in an car crash. I had seen her body lying in a coffin, all white and cold and hard. I had cried all the tears of my body then. I was only eight, and Zack ten, and he had comforted me by holding my hand the whole while, for days and weeks and months and even years after her funeral. Until he turned fifteen and stopped touching me anymore. I knew Zack could and would come back soon, he got into fits sometimes, but he was most of the time soothing and calm in his actions, and overly protective, I found. So he could come home, he could call. But the dead didn’t come back. The dead couldn’t call. Therefore my mom hadn’t called. Then, if she hadn’t been the one to try and call me…who had ?

 

I must have looked fairly perplexed, to Kyle who was apparently watching me from the window. He opened it.

“ Are you okay Adie ?” he called out to me, anxiety was easily found in his eyes. I looked back at him, probably looking a bit lost and then I realized what he was asking.

“ Oh yeah, fine. I just got a bit thoughtful there. I’ll catch you later,” I waved slightly, walking away and forcing the most sincere smile I could manage at the moment. Then I continued down the street looking away and hurried up. I thought we had more time. Had they found us yet ? I doubted it. Zack and I had been very careful about how we had set up everything, and we had thrown them off trail. They wanted to get to us so badly…I would have smirked at the thought, thinking that we were too good for them, but I frowned instead, aware of the urgency of immediate action. We couldn’t try out our chances, we’d probably lose, and couldn’t afford that. I played with the little piece of paper that was in my hand and then it hit me. Call back. It the obvious thing to do since the beginning, but I was always way past the obvious, because the obvious didn’t make much sense to me anymore, not since my way of life had changed. The thought stopped me abruptly, and I was aware of that, and a bit self-conscious though there was no one around. That broke off my line of thought. I was so dazed and worried that I nearly didn’t see the cat with green eyes try to slip past me without being noticed. Too bad, it didn’t work. I glanced after it, and when it turned back round to meet my gaze, I knew it was no ordinary cat. I squinted and it turned away swiftly, walking with a quicker pace. Cat’s most of the time shied away from you to get past, like on the furthest side of the sidewalk, and this one had nearly brushed my leg. Besides which, cat’s didn’t look round at you unless you moved your body. I hadn’t.

“ Zack,” I hissed very low, through gritted teeth. “ You thought you could get past me unknown ?” the cat pricked its ears and then disappeared behind a bush. But a minute later, Zack, a tall muscular boy with brown hair glinting gold, a bit messed up, and cutting green eyes appeared from behind the same bush, looking calm and amiable as he moved towards me. I knew that this was just the mask, that behind, he was a storm. In other words, he was still angry with me over the fact that I hadn’t controlled my emotions. I tried to look blankly at him, but that was hard, since I was aware that he was wondrously good looking, even with his hair all over the place. I saw his jaw tightened, and wondered if my face was just like an open book. I wanted to break the silence, so I spoke of the only thing that came to mind.

“ My mom called,” I said casually. It was strange, standing in the middle of the sidewalk and not moving, just trying to keep on a poker face while looking at him. I watched as his eyes softened and widened in surprise. He definitely wasn’t faking anything, much less careful than I was, but then, it was the reaction I wanted.

“ Your mom ?”

“ Hmm,” I said lightly, turning away and moving again. He caught up easily with me in his long strides. Then understanding flooded his face.

“ What did I miss ?”

“ Nothing really. She just says ‘hi’,” I said easily, not even smiling. When he didn’t retort something I looked up to see his face. He wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at the sidewalk pavements, looking thoughtful. When he looked up to meet my gaze, I promptly averted it. It still hadn’t stopped me from seeing the pain and sorrow there.

“ Listen, Adie. I’m sorry,” he sounded sincere, but I didn’t care. I wanted to get back at him for leaving like that. Four days ! It wasn’t fair. Who did he think he was, to do something like that ? He was not going to pull it off easy this time. Oh no. I looked the opposite side on which he was, not wanting to be influenced by his eyes. No, this time, he was going to pay.

“ You worried me sick,” I hissed.

“ You’re doing it again,” he sighed. “ Do you want me to leave for four more days ?” he asked. That caught me off guard. I thought he was going to throw accusations and justify himself. Then, afraid of what my silence would tell him I turned unexpectedly on him.

“ No,” I said, and I was aware there was fear edging into the quickly said word. He didn’t smile, he didn’t laugh, he just frowned.

“ You let your emotions wash over you too strongly. You should try controlling them,” he said, meaning well.

“ I try,” I snapped, and then we fell into silence again as we walked. I didn’t mind that we walked in silence, it often happened to us, especially when we used to walk to school together. That was a while ago, we’d dropped out of school for quite some time now. It didn’t mean that we weren’t educated though. We dropped out of public school because we went to the Fighters’ private school, or training. I didn’t want to think about the past, I wanted to think about now, but I hated knowing the silence was not because we had nothing to say but rather because we didn’t want to say anything. I, however, decided that I would not be the one to break the silence and so I waited as we walked down the empty streets now nearly complete darkness but for the edge of the sky that was still a bit light and the street lamps. Zack sighed, understanding I was not going to say anything.

“ Your mother called ?” he tried to pick the thread where we had left it, and I tried to behave, making a great effort to gather myself together and remember to breathe in and out.

“ Apparently,” I said lifelessly"it was the best I could do. “ That’s what Kyle told me.” He @#!*% his head at me. I took a deep breath, watching my step. “ I got rid of the guys for the whole day. I wanted to…” I trailed off, unable to finish. We had stopped and were sitting on one of the benches right outside the park, near one lamppost.

“ To ?” he encouraged me gently.

“ I wanted to find you,” I said, telling myself to exhale which I did with some slight difficulty. I couldn’t dare look into his eyes. He was silent, apparently waiting for me to go on, or so I thought. I forced myself to look into his eyes, and this time I could not stop the flush that rushed to my cheeks. I’d never seen his eyes so soft, it caused something within me to stir but I ignored that, and looked away.

“ Well, I was worried about you,” I tried to justify my action, though we both knew there was nothing to justify. “ Anyway, I gave my cell to Andreas, and my mom called on it. Or, to be clearer, a woman saying she was my mom called, and left a number,” I lifted the dangling piece of paper in my hand. His eyes were narrowing. We both knew my mother was dead, we had both seen her in the coffin. “ I know,” I slightly tilted my head to the side, pretending to think when really my mind was blank and I was just waiting.

“ Why did you need to get rid of the guys ?” he asked.

“ You know they give me headaches when I try to track, and that I can’t concentrate or send out any kind of waves,” I mumbled.

“ Like me,” he half-smiled, because we both knew that he thought it was his presence that disturbed my mind, not blocking out any waves.

“ You’re missing the point !” I exploded, jumping to my feet and turning to him. “ Who cares about why I had to send them away for ?! My mom, who is supposed to be ten feet underground, called on my phone and you worry trifle things !” My blood was pulsing rapidly through my body as he stood up, much too slowly and calmly for my liking.

“ You’re right,” he said quietly, serious again, looking intently in my eyes, searching for something, I was not sure what. “ But right now, I think we should go home and talk it through there. You don’t want to wake up the whole neighborhood.” I shook my head in disbelief. He’s unconscious of what it could mean, I thought. My heart was still pounding wildly, the boost in adrenaline made it work nearly three times as hard. After a very short moment, he released my gaze and did not even extend his hand like he usually did to take mine, just for a few seconds as we walked. Instead, he just began to walk away and I felt disappointment wash over me as I watched his back. He didn’t turn around, and I began to follow, unsure of what to say or do, so always remaining slightly behind and keeping my mouth shut. My eyes were probably wide with fury. I was still angry with him, for everything he’d put us through in the last few days, and for our latter conversation, and even old memories of wrongs done ages ago came overflowing my mind. We didn’t talk all the way that we went home, and I was actually relieved, because it cooled me down. I just hoped I would try to rip his throat out if he started talking again, whenever he would. I was thinking more about my boring day, trying vainly to search for him, with that huge headache"even when the boys were gone. He was so close and yet I had never been able to find him. In truth, I hadn’t been able to send out one wave to meet, there were too many things in the room where I had been. The perfect place to send out waves from was a hill, but there was no such thing in town"or in the city. I didn’t want to admit that, but that meant I was admitting I hadn’t received the signals. I had to choose, either I couldn’t emit, or I couldn’t receive. And the truth would be that I could not emit. I certainly would never talk about it to him, and wished that he would never think of it and badger me. I really didn’t need anyone trying to hurt my ego. I tried doing that, just to make sure that I really hadn’t lost my faculty. He must have felt it bang on his back because he abruptly turned around to face me, a surprised look on his face. The wave came back to me and dissolved.

“ Sorry,” I mumbled. He waited for me to be to his level and then, as we continued walking, I could see from the corner of my eyes that he raised his hand hesitantly, then, still going forward, he stepped sideways, closer to me and put an arm around my shoulders. I closed my eyes and sighed a moment, letting him guide me. I opened them again and looked at him. He seemed amused. I swallowed, trying very hard to stay put. How I hated my anger issues.

“ You thought you’d lost your ability ?” his lips curled up into a smile. He too, was trying very hard not to say something out of place, knowing my temper.

“ Yes and no,” I replied reluctantly. I didn’t want to say anything more, afraid that it would come out of my mouth not like I intended at all. He was slightly confused at my behavior.

“ Did I say something wrong ?” he asked, and I could feel his arm around me tightening slightly. I shook my head, but remained obstinate in my silence. “ I think there was just too much furniture in the room,” he said gently, carefully, slowly. I was glad he wasn’t trying to make fun, so I smiled up at him. He smiled back, relieved that I was doing better. In fact, I couldn’t feel any better when I was around Zack. He was the one who could always fix what was really wrong, what others could not, but he also was the one that infuriated me the fastest. I tried to forget what we had just been through and enjoy these few moments in the warm night air, with him. Something I didn’t get quite often"it couldn’t be compared to when we were tracking because we were really like colleagues working together. This was more of the colleagues who actually are friends spend time after work in a bar. Nearly. Just better. I inhaled as we passed rose bushes, breathing in the scent, but then, another one through me off guard. I turned my head toward Zack and sniffed his long-sleeved shirt, which smelled of something like gasoline, black in the evening but occasionally mirrored as dark red.

“ Is something wrong ?” he asked slightly too innocently.

“ Everything,” I breathed, slowly running through my thoughts, being cautious about what I was going to say. “ Where have you been ?” He seemed to seize the caution in my voice. He didn’t speak as guarded as I did but rather was more straightforward, though I couldn’t be quite sure about that last part.

“ Me is everything ?” he chuckled, obviously acting as though he were flattered. “ I was at Jess’ house,” he said coolly, watching my face as he said that. I felt a pang of jealousy in the pit of my stomach, but I kept my face straight, and then allowed myself to squint out of thoughtfulness.

“ Jeremiah and Larry popped by her house yesterday morning and you weren’t there,” I said accusingly, the suspicion definitely in my voice. He laughed.

“ You fall so easily for what I say,” he explained.

“ That’s because I trust you,” I gritted my teeth and his laughter subsided into a smile.

“ I know. I’m not being fair.” He pressed his lips into a tight line. If I had been in a better mood, he would have certainly smiled, if not laughed again, but he knew he shouldn’t push me too far.

“ No, you aren’t,” I answered back, trying to keep my tone light. A breeze passed over us, and though it was still warm, I shuddered. He felt me under his arm and turned his head questioningly at me. I just shook my head. I wasn’t even sure that I knew myself.

“ I suppose Crofts hasn’t said anything yet ?”

“ You know he wouldn’t,” we had suddenly lowered our voices considerably. “ He told us that he thought there was a traitor in his service. He won’t call if the call can be traced back to us,” I supposed my eyes were wide with fear and he caught on with me.

“ You mean…you think the call…” he left his sentence unfinished.

“ Yes, that’s exactly what I think,” I whispered urgently, the intensity of the matter magnified by the second, as the real realization dawned upon me.

“ We shouldn’t keep a permanent residence,” he said gravely. I could feel his arm slipping away from my shoulders slowly. I was afraid of losing my balance if he did take away his arm, besides, it felt comfortable. I compressed myself closer to his side to let him know not to drop his arm. I don’t really know what he thought, but I felt him stiffen for a split second in surprised and then accepted it, keeping his arm wound securely around my shoulders, and holding me as close as I had made myself, and I didn’t mind.

“ I agree with you,” I said, an edge in my voice. I had always said that and now it was him stealing my line, but I decided not to linger on that fact.

“ Have you ever spoken of it to Crofts ?” he asked, pushing a lock of my chestnut hair behind my ear.

“ Yes,” I replied. “ But he thinks we should still have a permanent residence, and have some places where we go around to. So, here it’s just like a rally point…to him,” I added the last part because I wasn’t really sure what to think of our permanent residence. Besides, I would never have voiced my opinion out loud if Zack didn’t first. Very suddenly, so sudden that I stopped dead in my tracks, Zack dropped his arm from around me and stepped away, leaving at least five inches between us. When he saw me stop, he turned to me, his expression unreadable.

“ What is it ?” I asked him.

“ Kyle’s coming around. Probably looking for you,” as if it explained it all.

“ So ?” I knew what he was thinking, the answer he was going to say, but I wanted to retort something, hence my sceptical look.

“ Well,” he half-smiled again, something I really liked about him. “ He wouldn’t like it too much if he saw us that close.”

“ And why should I care ?” He sucked in a breath, shook his head and rolled his eyes at me.

“ Come on,” he said, pulling slightly on my arm. I followed him and waited for him to let go of me to take hold of his hand. He sighed out of exasperation, but didn’t pull away, and I leaned in just a tiny little bit closer. Then we could see someone moving toward us down the sidewalk, not very clear as he hadn’t stepped into the light of a lamppost. When he did, I could clearly see that it was Kyle, and he didn’t seem pleased that we were holding hands, his eyes fixated with watching them swing between us. I didn’t mind making others jealous. I’d rather they thought whatever they did about what went between Zack and me than try and get  at me. He wasn’t unpleasant, though, and seemed comforted that I had found Zack"it was more Zack who had found me.

“ I’m glad you’re back,” Kyle grinned at Zack, then eyed me quickly. “ Some people were getting pretty grumpy around here,” and we all knew that he was referring to me. I laughed with anyway. I didn’t care, as long as Zack did not let go of my hand. It made me wonder if he could hear my thoughts at times, because he held mine tighter. It didn’t hurt, he was just holding it firmly in his own.

“ I’m glad to be back,” Zack replied, with a smile. “ But I wasn’t far anyway.” We started walking toward home again and I could see Kyle watching our hands again.

“ Then…umm…you two are not going to get into a fight when we get home ?” he asked, uncertainty tainting his voice. I laughed at his worry, and they both looked at me, more than astounded.

“ What ?” I said innocently. I knew, though, that I never really often laughed about anything and especially not on my own. It had been a very long time since something like that had happened. Only Zack would be able to remember, because the last time I’d laughed like that, was before I met anyone else I knew now. He seemed to smile at an old memory too and looked quite pleased by my laughter. There was only Kyle, still staring at me like I was a retard or something. “ Never mind Kyle,” I waved the matter off. “ You were just being unintentionally funny,” I added with a sly smile. He shrugged then and then a memory pricked him.

“ Oh, Adie, your mom called again,” he said casually. Zack felt me tense and gently squeezed my hand, leaning in to breathe something in my ear and then dispensing the thought and remaining straight as he walked.

“ What did she say ?” I tried to be as casual, and straight as I could. It was hard. This was definitely worrying.

“ Nothing more than last time. Actually…she did say something about your dad. Apparently he’s had a car accident, in the coma. She said it was really serious, and that you ought to pay him a visit. I think you should too,” Kyle said. There was regret in his voice when he spoke of my father, but when he said the last part, I knew he was trying to tell me to break it up with Zack. Only, there was nothing to break up. I stared at him.

“ My…dad ?” I finally managed the words back, but they were no more than a whisper. I started feeling dizzy. This could not be happening. I brought my free hand to my forehead. My head was beginning to spin really quickly. Just Zack was standing still in my vision field, everything else was swirling round.

“ Adie ?” Kyle’s voice was really worried.

“ Addax, get a hold of yourself,” I could hear Zack’s voice, firm but with the slightest tinge of worry in it. But I couldn’t. This was too much. Then I felt someone lift me off the ground gently, carefully, and my whole vision went black.

 

When I woke up, the light of day was beginning to flood in the room. Kyle was sleeping on the floor, a blanket over him. He was twisted away from me so I could see him and Zack, now neatly dressed, but with his hair all over the place was sitting in my armchair, reading a book. I sat up, running a hand through my knotted hair. I was well in my bed, and the covers still smelled fresh, even after a night’s sleep. I heard Zack slowly close his book and stand up silently. I watched as he stepped over Kyle, and when our eyes met, he rolled his eyes and I laughed silently, guessing Kyle had been quite a pain last night. He came to sit on the bed beside me, and touched the tip of my nose with his index finger. I bit my lip, because I knew that even if I had felt dizzy last night, I could have stopped myself from fainting, I’d done before.

“ You fainted,” he whispered accusingly, but he was smiling widely at me.

“ I supposed you enjoyed carrying me home,” I said, thinking he must have thought that he was now stronger than me.

“ Not one minute of it, because I was feeling pretty lightheaded myself,” he replied back, this time with no smile.

“ At least you didn’t faint,” I grumbled, looking at my hands playing with the covers. His gaze was on my face, but I didn’t look up.

“ Why do you think there’s always some sort of contest between us ?” I didn’t reply anything. I didn’t have anything to say. It was true, I was always trying to outsmart, to be stronger, to outrun, to…everything. I tried to be so much better than him, for the sole fact I knew that I wasn’t at all better than him, but so much worse. He couldn’t find anything more to say, and neither could I. We sat in silent and both watched Kyle toss and turn in his sleep, sometimes mumbling something unintelligible.

“ I think,” Zack started warily. “ That you should call your mom,” he said slowly. “ Today.” I nodded, although I said nothing again. I didn’t want to talk, I like the silence. I had to confess I didn’t care where he had been for the last four days, as long as he was home. Not thinking about what I was doing, I touched his cheek and his eyes flicked over to meet mine. I withdrew my hand and my eyes, much more quickly. He didn’t try to talk and did the same thing, only when I looked at him, he did ward off his gaze, and neither did he take his hand away. When he started to let it slip away, I caught it in my own and inhaled his scent. Honey and lilac, like he always did"unlike last night.

“ You showered,” I stated, just needing to say something.

“ I did,” he replied quietly. “ When I have to run away from you, most of the time, I get cold water. It’s the thing that tells me that I was wrong to leave.”

“ So, if you didn’t have cold water, you wouldn’t come home ?” I held his hand in both of mine and looked meaningfully in his eyes. He smiled and shook his head.

“ I would come home eventually. It’s just that the cold water makes me come back quicker.”

“ I hope you get water every time you go away,” I smiled, releasing his hand, but he didn’t take it back. Then I remembered Kyle, who had been annoying, it appeared. “ What did he do ?” I asked, curious to know what Kyle had done.

“ He simply stayed,” he sighed. “ And he also thought we needed to get a doctor, he’s never seen you faint, poor guy,” he said the last part in a sorry tone, but I could clearly see he was making fun.

“ Don’t make fun of him, he’s trying to be good,” I hissed. “ And you’ve never seen me faint either,” I added, waiting for him to say something.

“ No I never did. But I did see you almost faint a couple of times,” he grinned. I rolled my eyes and gave up trying to show I was stronger. I could be more than him at time : only in critical moments. The ones"decisions"right before a fight was where I was firmer than he was. That was how we could see our personalities : he was more a reliever, and I, an excitement. Everyone said that when we were both together, that’s what made us deadly, because we could muddle everyone around us, confuse them and easily get rid of them. That’s why we were so often solicited by Crofts, we had potential. I threw my cover offs and got out of bed. I was in my pajamas and I wondered if it was Jackie that had put me in those. I really didn’t want to ask Zack, slightly afraid of the answer. He stayed still while I went through my clothes in the wardrobe. I picked out some black pants, that were wide and straight, and made lost of wrinkled, and had quite a number of outer pockets, and I took a black loose, shortsleeved shirt and moved towards the bathroom. I didn’t need to wash my hair, it was fine, so I pulled it up into a bun on my head and stepped into the shower. I stayed a while, the warm water helping me think about what I might say when I called my “mom”. I then quickly dried myself off and put my clothes on, my typical outfit for going out a long time. I loosened my hair and brushed the knots out, pulling them back into a high ponytail, that was a bit loose, so my hair wasn’t flat on my scalp. I then quickly went back to my room and motioned for Zack to come. He followed me and took in my clothing, he was already guessing.

“ What are these clothes for ?”

“ We’re going to go hunt,” I said, very gravely, my eyes burning with anticipation and wild excitement.

“ Are we ?” he raised his eyebrows. “ For the pure-hearted ?”

“ No,” I said and neared the phone. Then I remembered I didn’t have the number. “ Do you have the number ?” I asked him. He nodded, handing the small piece of paper to me. My heart started stuttering wildly and my determination was beginning to falter. I didn’t reach for the phone, I just stared at the unfamiliar number, trying to steady myself and breathe slowly. I sat down on the couch and Zack beside me, doing just as Kyle had done, putting his arm around me, but not minding putting his hand on my shoulder. My face was probably flushed but I didn’t care. Concentrated, I told myself. But with my mind refusing to think of the woman as my mom, and Zack next to me, desperately trying to find ways to calm me down, I couldn’t think, couldn’t slow my heart beat and it felt like it was filling the room and would wake everyone else up. I felt his lips kiss the top of my head, and when he spoke, it was the rush of honey; so gentle, so sweet and soft.

“ Come on, Adie. It can’t be that hard,” he whispered soothingly. Slowly, the thudding in my chest began to slow, to become more steady, until it was normal again.

“ Right,” I mumbled, leaning forward to reach for the phone. His arm remained on top of the sofa behind me. “ Let’s see how dad is doing.” My dad had disappeared not long after my mother’s death. He’d been claimed dead because they had found his jacket all bloodied. I had never seen him since. Never set eyes on him. I picked up the receiver and carefully punched each number, slowly. Then I held it to my ear and waited as it rang on the other end. My pulse started picking up again. I felt sick, nauseous. Who was going to answer ? What did I expect ? I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, just that I needed to know who was calling. I’d trace the number.

“ Go get the tracer,” I mouthed to Zack. He understood exactly what I meant to do and he was instantly up on his feet moving to the study which was behind the door next to the chimney. No one was answering. I left it ringing, waited and waited. Even if it had to be the whole day. In fact, I didn’t really need the tracing device. Besides that, it should have been hooked on before I’d started the call. I was just going to send waves through the receiver and hope she wouldn’t hang up before the reflected off her and back to me. Zack came back empty handed looking sorry. I shrugged and concentrated on the table as he came to sit by me. I think I felt his lips press against the side of my forehead. I didn’t look up, too afraid of what I would see or feel or even say. I stayed quite still as he patted my hair. He was making it hard to concentrate, but at least, it ceased to make my throbbing heart overreact. We both waited, and for once, he too shifted with impatience.

“ Are you sure…” he whispered in my ear leaving his words hanging in the air just as someone picked up the receiver.

“ Hello ?” I held my breath, waiting for an answer.

Author's Note

If there's something incoherent, point it out please !!