A Sense of Here

A heightened sense of an ordinary moment

She sat

Soaking it all in.

Some,

If not most,

Would experience nothing.

But not her.

She felt the sleeves of her jacket

Caress her shoulders,

Her leather boots hug her toes

Tightly;

And her head felt a pleasant haze.

Cheap vodka and stale smoke joined together

And waltzed harmoniously on her tongue.

She smelled the faint aroma of a familiar perfume

Linger on her damp skin;

An echo of hours passed.

The rain had done nothing

To rob her of it.

She listened to the tone of silence

A testament to the nostalgic music heard,

What felt like

Aeons,

Before.

Her sight was crystal clear.

Transparent as the cold glass that spared her from

The winter winds and

Ice-filled rain.

She finally saw the world

For what it is;

Here.

Author's Note

Really new at poetry, please let me know what you think

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Ever caught a glimpse of yourself in a reflection and thought … ‘what the ****! That’s what this poetically introspective, suddenly self aware write reminds the reader. Loved the context and structure of the work – great … :-)

[GwenLark]

Thank you so much for reading!

[Rye]

I really enjoyed this write, This is really well written

[H L Rose]

I think the imagery is fantastic! The third stanza is my favorite.

The second stanza does seem a little unnecessary but I’m no expert so I’m sure I could be wrong.

I’m definitely a fan of how you paint a picture and pull the reader into it. I think you’ve displayed a unique tone and atmosphere.

I enjoyed reading this poem and it doesn’t come across as written by a novice to me!

[GwenLark]

Thanks so much!

[H L Rose]

Of course!

[emipoemi]

.........apart from the need to mention the presence of a couple of punctuations issues towards the end - I have no words.....my voice is in my awe!! This blew me away! Well freaking done!

[GwenLark]

That means so much considering your writing! Thank you so much

[emipoemi]

my pleasure. Keep at it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

she finally feels her being...and what she is in relation to the world around her...trying to get a sense of what it means to be "here" in the moment.

j.

[SleeplessVolcano]

A sobering moment, when the penny drops. You painted this picture beautifully :)

[GwenLark]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it

[andrew mitchell]

A rivetting write, mysterious, enticing, a delight to read.

[GwenLark]

Thank you so much Andrew.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Enthralling
Entertaining
Beautiful

[GwenLark]

Too kind! Thank you so much

[Mac. S]

You say you're new but it reminds me of some professional work that would make its mark in history and be shown to students of the art of literature as an example. Really quite like it. "Here", loved that: puts an odd smile on my face.

[GwenLark]

That means so much. Thank you

[Great Aunt Astri]

Yes, just being aware ( pity she had to do it with the aid of a drink or two), but simply 'being in the moment' is, they say, one of the most sought after experiences. You say you are new at poetry, but I thought this read very well. Just go with your own flow, I say!

[GwenLark]

Thank you so much for the advice! And thanks for reading!

[Relic]

I think the magnification of moments is more common than we think. But when it happens to us, It's a good feeling.

You write just as well as anyone here. Keep at it. :)

[GwenLark]

Thank you so much for reading