Prisoner of War

Smoke filled the cold night air as Ludwig lowered his gun. Tall pine trees surrounded him, neatly ordered in rows, much like a corn field. A swarm of birds took to the air, shocked by the sudden violent disturbance, adding their voices in a cacophony of fears as they went.

 

The man loaded another round, aimed, and fired a fresh volley of bullets in an arc before him. Wood shattered, snow jumped up and blood stained the white landscape.

 

Ludwig raised his hand signaling his company to halt. He took long, deliberate steps, his polished boots tapping the ground in a slow, rhythmic tone. He stood still, sighed deeply and straightened his black coat. At his feet lay a skinny, old man whose legs had been victim to the gunfire. He breathed heavily, his chest rising unnaturally.

 

Ludwig watched the old man for a moment, staring into his brown eyes. Fear could be read in those eyes, as well as an extreme exhaustion. A wave of revulsion ran through Ludwig. He spat the man in his face and dropped his boot right where a bullet had driven itself into the man's flesh. The man howled in pain, his hands clasping to the wound.

 

"How did you escape?!" Yelled Ludwig with a voice made to command and question, "Answer me, you - " A series of insults followed, one more foul than the other, kicking the poor man again.

 

"I-I-I," stammered the man, gasping for air, "mercy, p-p-please, have mercy."  His eyes almost popped out of their sockets, his already white face drained of all color. His prisoner's uniform was covered with mud, hiding the yellow star which symbolized his damnation.

 

"Mercy? We can be very merciful." Ludwig spoke with a hint of a smile touching his frozen lips. The officer turned around raised one hand to his mouth and shouted: "Stummelz, bring me the girl."

 

A distant voice replied quickly: "Of course, captain." Soon after, another soldier became visible, dragging a chained girl with him. She wore the same striped uniform as the wounded man, with the yellow star sewn to the left side of her breast. The girl kept her face down constantly, shuffling along with her guard who pushed her forward with rough manner. She was forced to kneel.

 

The wounded man gave Ludwig a quizzical look, before coughing up some blood.

 

The officer gently placed a hand under the girl's chin and lifted her head, but she immediately closed her eyes and shook heavily. Big, hot tears streamed down her pale cheeks. Ludwig judged her no older than fifteen, though he had never been good with ageing children. In fact, she could just as easily have been a boy, with her hair shaved off completely. He retreated his hand and turned back to the wounded man.

 

The officer spoke with an iron voice: "You wanted mercy, so we will give mercy." In one swift motion Ludwig took the pistol from his left hip, placed it at the girl's temple and pulled the trigger.

 

A sickening sound echoed through the artificial wood. Stummelz jumped back in surprise, blood smearing his grey coat with a bright red line. The girl crashed down in a heap on the ground, her eyes wide open as if admiring the starlit sky.

 

Captain Ludwig aimed the pistol at the dying man and raised his voice again. "I will ask you one final time, how did you escape?"

 

"I never escaped," came the answer, "my prison is here." With this mysterious reply people turned to shadows, and shadows to darkness.

 

When captain Ludwig woke up and his eyes had adjusted to the bright sunlight that entered from the barrack's window, a scrawny, crippled man appeared in his vision. His arms rested on two wooden crutches and he moved surprisingly fast to his bedside with them. The man whispered a single word in the captain's ear, and that one word made him wet his pants: "Mercy"

 

At his other side Stummelz put a gun to the captain's temple and ended the captain's twisted heart from beating anymore, the girl's murderer, Anne Frank's murderer.

 

Outside, spring was coming, life's heat melting snow's death.

Author's Note

Written for "Helen's Blue Rose Cafe ~ FLASH FICTION " contest.
Thank you for reading, and any and all comments are welcome.

Reviews

[Craig2591]

Quite a twist at the end. A dark story to be sure. Well told.

[Fictionborn]

Glad to hear you found the story interesting.

[Lexi I.]

This was at once a very sad, yet moving piece. Thank you for sharing a snippet of history--a tragic one--with us.

I try to offer advice whenever I review other stories, and here are three things I would change (to make things more clear):
1. You write" At his feet lay a skinny, old man whose legs had turned into a pool of blood. He breathed heavily, his chest rising unnaturally far."--> I would explain where the man had his injury; I don't understand how his legs became a pool of blood. I can see if they were in a pool of blood. Also, when you talk about his chest rising, I wouldn't use "far" to describe how it's rising. Maybe try: "He breathed heavily, his chest expanding unnaturally."

2. You write: "hiding the yellow star which should read "Jude"."--> since most readers know about the star, maybe you can say "hiding the yellow star, which was at the same time a symbol of his damnation and salvation."

3. You write: "Big, hot tears streaming down her pale cheeks." --> Perhaps you meant to use the verb "streamed"

These are just some MINOR things that I noticed. I hope these points are useful!

Beautiful piece!

[Fictionborn]

As always, thanks for reviewing! I will certainly correct these issues, I appreciate the advice.

[Helen Crutchett]

You obviously are a born writer. This story was riveting and chilling in content. Well crafted with superb punctuation. Absolutely well done! Thank you for submitting this to the "Flash Fiction" contest! ~ Helena

[Fictionborn]

I'm honored with your comment. Thank you!