After Hour Negotiations

A writing exercise piece focused on the dialog of three different characters.

 

This better be good. I only answer the phone after midnight for hot chicks and family emergencies…in that order.

 

I need your car tomorrow.

 

Before you explain your reasons to me, the answer is no.

 

I need your car tomorrow for a date.

 

I recall you having your own vehicle.

 

Yea…I crashed that.

 

I see. Then I guess it would be a good idea for you to drive mine then.

 

Really?

 

NO.

 

It wasn’t really my fault you know. That bear wanted me to hit it

 

You hit a bear?!

 

I assumed it was a bear, couldn’t really tell from all the pieces.

 

Jee-bus.

 

I know right. You’d think it they’d be smart enough to avoid cars. But I’m actually glad I hit that bear.

 

I hope you have a proper justification for murdering an endangered carnivore.

 

I met this awesome chick when I dropped my car off at the body shop. That’s why I need your car tomorrow

 

Don’t you have other friends you can call?

 

None that I don’t mind disturbing at this hour.

 

I think you need to re-evaluate that statement in my case.

 

Your Mom needs to re-evaluate that statement!

 

…Why are we best friends?

 

That’s simple. It’s because we finish each other’s….

 

Sentences…You’re still not driving my car.

 

Why not? I promise not to hit a bear with it

 

So you did hit that bear!!

 

Ok fine! I hit the bear, but it still had no business running around on a park road at night.

 

Yea. Sure it didn’t.

 

Gimme your car!

 

No. Besides you don’t know how to drive stick.

 

Can’t be that hard to learn? It’s just advanced eye coordination. With all the videogames I play I should be able to learn stick in no time at all.

 

You make it sound so simple.

 

Everything is simple with enough blind determination.

 

Sure…So this girl must be impressive for you to call me in the middle of the night to borrow my BMW.

 

Dude, she is. Her name is Fiona. She’s just like me, except, you know, with b***s and a female reproductive system. Wait here she comes…Fiona say something to him.

 

Something…

 

Yea you’re a class act Fiona.

 

I try.

 

I meant something along the lines of you convincing him to give me his BMW!

 

BMW?! What make and model is it?

 

My car is a white 1998 535i.

 

Hmmm. Intriguing. Though I don’t think your friend here should be driving any sort of motorized vehicle given how he treated the last one.

 

Ok that’s it Fiona. Gimme the phone…You still there man?

 

Where else am I going to go? Fiona sounds like my kind of person. That type of person being the kind that annoys you. But I still don’t see what I gain from giving you the keys to my car.

 

C’mon, she mentioned she has a cute older sister.

 

Ugh. I don’t trust your taste in women anymore. Ever since Phoebe.

 

What are you talking about?! Phoebe was great; she just had certain…unique qualities.

 

Sean…She tied me to a chair in my underwear and left me in her parent’s bedroom.

 

Look on the bright side. At least you left a lasting impression on her parents.

 

After I broke out of the chair, her dad chased me out of the house! I didn’t get home until three hours later.

 

Blah Blah Blah. You’re just mad because you meet horrible women.

 

Horrible women that you set me up with.

 

It’s not fault you lack the proper mojo to quench their fiery desires.

 

Whatever. I do know that I have enough mojo to refuse giving you my car.

 

Does that really require mojo? I really don’t think that is a mojo related decision.

 

Good point. You’re still not getting the car.

 

DUDE! You’re the only one with a nice ride that I can get a hold of on such short notice.

 

What about your mom’s car? Can’t you use that?

 

The van?!?! Nah, I need to make a good first impression, hence your BMW.

 

Still no.

 

FINE!!!! I refuse to avenge your death if you get murdered.

 

Hey! Don’t say things you can’t take back.

 

Ok I’m sorry…I guess I’ll use my mom’s van. But you’ve lost best friend points. That puts Rich dangerously close to being my new best friend.

 

Ehhh. I’m not worried. You’re birthday is coming up, so my gift should earn those points back.

 

It better.

 

I’m going back to sleep. Have fun with Fiona.

 

I will. I just wish it were in the back seat of your BMW.

 

Ewww. I’m hanging up the phone now. Tell Fiona it was a treat meeting her.

 

Hey Fiona, my friend says it was a “treat” meeting you.

 

Likewise, I’m just that kind of gal.

 

Yes, yes you are. Anyways, you know I could just steal your car while you’re sleeping tonight.

 

You try that. I’ll just tell the detectives I shot at what I thought was a malicious intruder.

 

You suck Zach!

 

Only when it comes to you driving my car Sean. Goodnight.