When I'm Gone

When I’m gone

roses still shall bloom

and picket fences 

not have moved.

Verdant trees will taller be

and wavy still the turquoise sea.

 

When I’m gone

the moon will still

exist

and be exchanged by sun

at day.

The rich will still indulge in coins--

to have their life the poor shall pray.

 

When I’m gone

our king size bed 

be there--

exactly where it was,

yet you my dear

will so have changed

from happiness to pain--

cuddling in sheets alone

while suffering shall reign.

 

Reviews

[Justin Littlefield]

Really like it man, you have a good voice. It's a harsh truth, better to accept it and find what's beautiful about it.

[guy drori]

thanx for reading man...glad you liked it. Yea you're right...it is the harsh truth that we're only left to accept and not change

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Sad, true and beautifully written. :) I like it.

[guy drori]

Thanks for reading! And very glad you liked it

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You're welcome.

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Word usage was great. I also liked the buildup and the last verse took it away, as it should have.

[guy drori]

Thanks...appreciate it that you read and glad you liked it. Yea the last verse is what mainly makes up this poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

True and honest words and thoughts. I like the poetry.
"When I’m gone:
my king size bed will be
exactly where it was,
yet you my dear
will so have changed -
from happiness to pain,
cuddling in sheets alone
while suffering shall reign."
The above lines are very good. I could write a complete story from. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[guy drori]

I am very honored to have you read them Coyote, thank you ! Again, I am glad you liked it. The stanza you quoted is my favorite... keen site you have there :)

[Coyote Poetry]

My pleasure and you are welcome.

[A writer]

This is an awesome poem! love everything about it, the meaning, the words. Basically, its one of the greatest I've read. :)

[guy drori]

Thank you so much. I appreciate you read it and glad you liked it !

[A writer]

You are welcome :)

[Joel Armstrong]

I absolutely loved it.Its such a beautiful poem.I loved the imagery,and you my friend have a very good skill with words.The message held in the pom is clear and is something which we all must face someday in our lives.Do write more

[guy drori]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting Joel. Yes I agree, unfortunately we all face the pain of death, and the one fact I cannot seem to fathom is how the world continues to live so normally, while the world inside a person is utterly crushed. Glad you enjoyed it!

[Joel Armstrong]

T'is the way of life I suppose .The memories of our loved ones remain in our hearts and they continue to live on there.We should cherish those memories and be saddened not by their death.But then again easier said than done.

[guy drori]

I completely agree with you, and definitely easier said than done. I always say "celebrate his life, don't mourn his death."