When I'm Gone

When I’m gone

roses still shall bloom

and picket fences 

not have moved.

Verdant trees will taller be

and wavy still the turquoise sea.

 

When I’m gone

the moon will still

exist

and be exchanged by sun

at day.

The rich will still indulge in coins--

to have their life the poor shall pray.

 

When I’m gone

our king size bed 

be there--

exactly where it was,

yet you my dear

will so have changed

from happiness to pain--

cuddling in sheets alone

while suffering shall reign.

 

Reviews

[The Brazilian Poet]

Touching poem, for sure! Not only a poetic reflexion but also a philosophical one! Congratulations!

[guy drori]

Thank you :) Appreciate your comment

[Double T]

This is such a beautiful poem that is beautifuly written. :)

[guy drori]

Thank you :)

[lovergirl]

Hi man !
so , this poem of yours is full with emotions and that's what i liked about it , a wonderfull piece (y) well done .

[guy drori]

Thank you for your kinds words ! Appreciate it :)

[mattavelli]

Hi Guy, you tell a beautiful story here. The concept and the phrases that you use really draw out emotions.

[guy drori]

Thank you :) I'm very glad you liked it and that you were able to "feel" the poem.

[Robert]

I like this poem Guy. Life continues after each of us has one, this is true. Maybe changing but in perpetual continuation. The ones we leave behind will be lost but they too will find there way back to life. I enjoyed reading this very much so.

[guy drori]

Thank you for your kind words :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it and I agree with what you said...

[DoormanDan]

I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this piece, and I can tell you that this poem has turned out great. The concept behind this piece is oh so very true; when we're gone, it won't be our possessions that change, it will be the people we have left behind who will be changed. Great job :)

[guy drori]

Thank you :)

[ANTO]

So very poignant. I have heard this sentiment being played out in homes of friends and neighbours whose loved ones are terminally ill and who can still convey their feelings. It seems that many reach an understanding with their own impending demise and they put themselves in the shoes of those left behind - and they try to make things easier (perhaps just by leaving instructions on their preferences). Perhaps that projection is part of enabling oneself to accept fate, who knows?
This is a very moving poem Guy. So current.
Well penned.

[guy drori]

Thank you Anto! appreciate you read it and very glad you liked it...and you're right concerning what you wrote above, I agree.

[Workvio]

A sad reality is, that no how matter how large our ego's, our sense of self importance, self worth, self accomplishment, or self value, when we leave this world the only ones who will be impacted by our death shall be those few who truly loved us ... Eternity is a sham when speaking of life ... The only forever is to be described in how long we shall remain in the grave after passing as the wilting grass and the fading flower ... Our only eternal life is to be found within the memories of those who held us dear, and who strive to keep their memories of us alive for as long as they possibly can ... Eternity is for the famous--famous for great lives and great acts, or famous for horrible lives and horrible acts ... For the mediocre average Joe peon, there is no true eternal life, only lingering vapors of memories held by those who loved us, cared for us, and respected us ... And then, when they too are gone, we shall slip from the surface of memory's pool to settle as what-was silt at the bottom of humanities unfathomable number of souls who lived, loved, and died before us, each one hoping and believing to live forever, someway, somehow, to settle in the end for simply hoping that someone would remember them and keep their memory alive after they were gone ... Such as this, is as good as it gets, and so old fools like me strive to keep the memory of those whom I have loved alive via poem, story, or article, until that day when I die in hoping that perhaps someone may do me that same kindness in part, if at all ... My eternity rests within the hearts and minds of my children, my friends, and my readers ... While they remember me, while they choose to pass their memories of me on to those they know, I yet live, though my body has long since decayed in the cold, cold, ground ... We owe it to others to give them their eternity for as long as we have breath ... Nice poem ... I never comment on anything that I do not like ...

[Talesha]

I enjoyed this poem as well as this review. Great expression of ideas to you both!

[guy drori]

Hey Marvin...thank you for reading and I appreciate the time you took to comment. You're right, it is a sad reality. I definitely agree with you when you said that no matter how much we accomplished, then when we leave this world the only ones who will be impacted by our death are the ones who loved us. Yet there is a quote that says "We shouldn't strive to live forever, but to create something that will." Our creations and what we do can last for a very long time. So I believe that not only people who necessarily loved us will be impacted by our death, but also people who loved the work we left for the living who will be impacted. Yet I'm going to have to disagree with you about the famous people. Even famous people shall not live forever. They will too be forgotten one day. It's just that due to the fact they are famous they will perhaps live hundreds of years longer, yet not for eternity. One is very lucky to be remembered, for shame on those who have no one crying on their grave. There is a saying in the novel "The Fault In Our Stars" that it is better to be loved deeply and not widely. And those who are not loved nor deeply or widely certainly vanish right away from this world when they die. We all want our children, brothers and sisters and friends to remember us when we go, and surely we want to leave them something to remember us by, whether it be poems, paintings, songs, movies we acted in etc... Again, thank you for your comment1

[Workvio]

You are most welcome ...

[AaronFreitas]

Nice wording... love the flow reading through the lines. Good work :)

[guy drori]

Thanks Aaron ! Glad you enjoyed it

[OliveBlanche]

Really like this. Love the flow of the poem. I kind of want it to have another verse in the middle!

[guy drori]

thanx....happy u enjoyed it! Lol...perhaps i'll write another vesion of it with another verse in the middle...