The Fall of Relatives Part 1: No More Tears

This is one of the first poems I made about three years ago, when my Uncle died. It is the first part of a longer series of poems, all which describe the reality of my life during the last 3 years.

The end of a life it's the beginning of a new one

One that reminds me of all that I have done

How I missed the chance to show you I cared

To comfort you those days when you were scared

Knowing you were suffering yet I stayed silent

Now reality hits my heart, so brutal and violent

I just want those who are left to go through this

Hope we can move on and someday reach peace

Such a powerful and influential presence

The great love he felt was his essence

A new step in life has now just commenced

As we hope that with God, you could make amends

So lovable

So gullible

Yet again so very powerful

Incredibly strong

Never do any wrong

For him I will find where I belong

Never will forget how I failed you

I know you loved me, I know you knew

Yet somehow I could never tell you...

All the memories in which you will dwell

All hoping that you finally rest well

The worst kind of pain that I've ever felt

It's making my heart to feel like it melts

Your cycle in this world might have ended

It's very hard for us to accept this

Yet from Heaven your loving care descended

Slowly filling our minds with peace

Now your faith has taken you to sleep

And even if everyone down here weeps

Even if the way to you is too steep

The memory of your life we shall keep

We cry for you, we beg for you

We wish you were here for us so we could say

That all the family truly loved you

That even death won’t take you away

Now from your eternal bed you release

Your presence in us to grant us peace

A great sadness will fill up with bliss

To know that you now rest in peace

So we must calm our mind, ease our fears

For as you would say, please cry no more tears...

Author's Note

It is a personal poem, so please be kind. Having said that, I would like a true honest review which could help me improve for future poems. Thank you.

Reviews

[Jack O]

This poem diverges in who it is formed for? Are you chatting with god or a wished person? I have no idea who the central character of the poem is. I like the structure and flow. But I am lost reading this.
Who is the writer speaking too? Self-emotion?

[Gustavo Mendez]

Two things: One is that it technically is self emotion, given I wrote this literally the very night my Uncle passed away, it is what my mind came up with after hearing the news of his passing. In a sense, is for him. Second, this is the first part of a longer series of poems, poems which all have to deal with my personal experiences during the last three years of my life, the following parts explore further both into him, and myself. Sorry for not making that clear, I'll try changing the description so people won't be confused, and I'll try to upload the following parts whenever I have the time so the topic is the poem becomes clearer. I want to upload them periodically, I'm trying to improve them as much as I can before posting them. Thanks for the imput.

[Jack O]

No, no. It is well written. Please do not take my comments as a bad review. This is very well done and I look forward to the additional posts. I will read.
thank you.

[Gustavo Mendez]

Oh! Don't worry, I didn't take it as a bad review, I just wanted to clarify certain aspects to help you, and other readers, understand a little better. I say you actually helped me, thank you.

[InkStain]

This is a really good piece and it's quite strong. I love that you rhymed it! The only thing I would say is that sometimes you didn't keep your rhythm in each line and stanza. Other than that it was good.
Pen on my friend!

[Gustavo Mendez]

Thank you. I know that sometimes the rhythm of the line and stanza may not be constant, I have made several other poems and most have that same problem, that's one of the main things I need help with to improve. If you had any advice or tip on how to improve in that aspect, it will be most welcome. Thank you.