Envy the Dead

I envy the dead

Of my life to be rid!

Another nail in my coffin

Another hinge on the lid

 

My tears �" they mean nothing

My cuts and my scars

The ones on my body

Match the ones on my heart

 

I don’t need you to care

Or believe I’m depressed

That you think that I’m faking

Doesn’t make things hurt less

 

When I become free

Hang myself in the rain

Like a pendulum swinging

Will you then see my pain?

 

You think I need help

Yet you’re looking above

All that is hurting

Is a severe lack of love

 

I don’t choose to be hurting

I don’t choose to burn

But if you never listen

You never will learn

 

I have a heart problem

It’s called loving and trusting

But people assume evil

Say I’m nothing but lusting

 

Accusations of unfair things

Always assuming the worst

Always pretending to be what they’re not

Like a priest who likes driving a hearse

 

Give me a beautiful death

Like a snowman who melts in spring

But don’t be surprised at the mud

That the melting snow always brings

 

You wield your sword that you call “words”

And stab me through the chest

And then you jeer when I start to cry

“Ha! You’re not depressed!”

 

I’m glad you know me oh so well

That I’m faking all this pain

I guess I’ll drink some Clorox bleach

Since I’m nothing more than a stain

 

I have no life to end

Just a body to endure

Eternal hopelessness

The only thing of which I’m sure

 

Reap whatever is sown

Anger, Guilt, and Sadness

Insane amounts of evil

Then confusion at my madness

 

Terrify my pain away

Scare the hell right out of me

Make my demons run and hide

Scare them with your apathy

 

Whatever words are most improper

The ones that are too rude to spiel

Those could almost scratch the surface

Of the unholy pain I feel

To those whom this may concern

That is, no one, for that’s who cares

Knowing doesn’t make it happy

Life’s still cruel and so unfair

 

And so departure time

I’ll fly off to the moon

If death/escape is coming

The most precious word is “soon”

 

I told you before

As I lay in my bed

Just give me a rose

For I envy the dead. 

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

I think I was destined to read this piece today...well I could read it on most days and it would resonate with me just as deeply and profoundly as it has today...I can thank bipolar for that. This is a hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners piece...I feel the anger and resentment and second it wholeheartedly...well done.

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Thank you for this review, and I'm not sure if I'm happy or not that you can empathize with this poem. I'm glad that I can speak your pain so you know you are not alone, but I'm not happy that anyone else is down enough to feel where I'm coming from. I wouldn't want anyone to be on some of the dark paths I've been on - not even my worst enemy. Feel free to message me if you ever need anyone to talk to. Thank you for the great review :)

[kublakhan27]

Will do my friend...thanks for the support, and for sharing your great work :)

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Any time :)

[Gleb Zavlanov]

This is such a touching, beautiful poem, melded masterfully with grief, despair and sorrow. I'm so glad I came upon this poem. Respect to the bard!

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Thank you so much for your great review; I'm glad you enjoy it.

[FlamingPhoenix]

This is is beautifully and painfully relatable. A piece that will shortly be added to my library. I'm pleased that I saw a friend had reviewed it and that I was able to discover it!

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Thank you for this great review :)
Although I am sorry that you can relate. It's never desirable to be in that place.

[s y e]

Woooo, you just about blew me away with this one dude, this is one powerful write. Each stanza tells their own little part and definitely does the job. Very powerful yet amazing!

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Thank you my friend :)
I didnt intend to blow you away, but I am glad you like it :)
Thank you for the kind review!

[Jewel Chanda]

this is nice....i loved it...magnificent one...

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

thank you so much!

[Frieda P]

Many of your stanza's could stand alone and still have impact all their own, that last one is killer, literally and figuratively, a sadly poignant read.

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Thank you very much for your honest review! I'm glad I achieved my goal with it

[Frieda P]

Was my pleasure, nice job...and yes you most certainly did.

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

*bows* :)

[Brook]

I'm in love with this poem, it's so beautiful.
You've thought this out so well, and i think it's brilliant. I love the first, and last stanza. Amazing job!

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Thank you so much for your great review! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! :)

[Sami Khalil]

A very unique and splendid poem...Thank you for the read request...:)..............

[Gurglesnarch van Caasi]

Thank you for the kind review! :)

[Sami Khalil]

:).............................