Distance

Time is a feeling, and it's the only thing that the distance between us is measured in.

The roads are viscous in the daylight.

I get lost in the distance

trying not to measure my journeys
in time or in miles.

I measure them in song lengths.

On any given day

you could be six punk rock songs away.

Or one and a half Dream Theater songs.

And I still find reasons not to go to you.

The place you go to heal

it will resemble your deepest wound.

All brick, bourbon and pyre.

You've got your hands so full of grief that you can't even hold your fire.

I'd need only look for the place that smells of your inferno.

Don't think for a second that I mind burning for you.

It's the distance that bothers me.

Author's Note

I've been away for a while. This is one of the first poems I've written in over a year. I'll be sure to return the favor for anyone who reviews this =)

Reviews

[Alexandria Reece]

'The place you go to heal
it will resemble your deepest wound.'

That's fantastic, the poem has a sort of rhythm to it that's not exactly meter... it's just natural it seems. Measuring your time with an artform is a very novel way to go about it I think, unique and very well-written.

[Jonathan Ballam]

Finally I've found someone who understands poetry. Your opening line caught my attention the most. I also like the fact you were prepared to entertain a moment of ambivalence in your ending.

Sure there may be a few cracks, and a bit of ironing out on this one in the future. What pricked up my eyes in this piece, is your natural rhythm guiding the reader.

It's hypnotic I tell you...

[Ama May Cooper]

First things first let me just say what a wonderful idea of distance measurement, miles prove nothing to the emotion of a craving to be near those we miss , or to even be close, but i can sorta feel a connection with that one, by measuring it in another art form of expression... a sad a long melody that lingers on being a long drive between countries.
Either way its a fantastic way and conjours up many ideas in my mind.
Secondly i just wanna say i love this, the flow the way the words etch thoughts into your mind as you read, its purely fantastic. I loved reading every inch and letter of this piece. A fantastic and brilliant piece of work.

[forevermore1218]

This is really good!
I like your comparisions
you were amazing!


(incase you didn't notice, I did the comment in Haiku form :3)

[Daisy123]

The place you go to heal
it will resemble your deepest wound.
All brick, bourbon and pyre.
^my favorite part.
I love your writing style. great job!

[Lunny]

This is an awesome poem! :) enjoyed it

[Rick Puetter]

Dear GunMetal,

This is an interesting write on several levels. First, how do me measure the "distance" between people? Such distances aren't simple or one dimensional. They're very complex. And yes I agree they are more like a piece of music as music evokes emotion and human distances, if anything, are emotional. The second is the description of your personal distance from a particular individual and its description. The conclusion in the final stanza is profound, emphasizing that a willingness for personal sacrifice is not what is between the two of you, but rather it is the emotional distance.

A very thought provoking read. Nicely written. Highest marks!

Best regards,

Rick

[MoriartyMesa]

IRON MAIDEN
IRON MAIDEN
IRON MAIDEN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9kT37eIkaY&feature=colike



Man this is why I love looking at your work, it is part metal, part saga, part whiskey and a lap dance for good measure with a smart kick.

[Sheila Kline]

Your words are wise beyond measure and make my heart beat to the rhythm you invoke as you speak of how one's feelings for another are best measured in time, and not in distance. I especially like how you compare a journey in song lengths, and one could be only six punk rock songs away, and on to one and a half Dream Theater song away from the other.
You indicate you have not written for a while as you have been away, but I applaud your return............with GUSTO!!
Well done.............creative with a great message!

[justjenn_2u]

Ahhh, life is hectic within this hectic world and the distance is even harder. Yet, you measure the distance in melody and music. I can picture a guy riding to his girl while listening and counting the distance in how many songs he listens to. Seems also that there are some of us who open up wounds by how we choose to heal. We do self gratifying things only to open the wound up even more. This is more so with those who have a guilty conscious. I enjoyed this piece and I did see a magnificent flow within your stanzas. The layout is precise and your raw emotion, even better. Write on.

[Aditi Mahajan]

Nice- 'six punk rock songs away'