Just Getting Started

Just Getting Started

A Poem by GunMetal
"

'Comments' Poetry... because of Writerski7.

"

Smooth

 

You changed my life…

and then you changed it back.

 

Smooth move.

 

 

Hey Girls

 

Stop getting boyfriends.

It makes it really difficult to hit on you.

Wait until I’m dating one of you,

and then carry on.

 

 

Reiterate

 

Sometimes I'll hear a song

I used to hate,

and think to myself, "Wow,

this really makes me wanna stab myself in the ear.

Still."

 

 

Sunrise

 

So, I was watching the sunrise,

and it dawned on me.

 

 

To Those It May Concern

 

Be polite and tip pizza delivery drivers well…

They know where you live.

© 2012 GunMetal


Author's Note

GunMetal
Grain of salt, my friends.

My Review

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Featured Review

i was laughing the whole time i was reading this as well. i thought the girl part was kinda funny. and it is true that pizza delivery guys do know where you live. lol. i adored this poem. hardly anything makes me laugh anymore and you proved that i actully can still laugh. thanks for that btw. i love your work. its cool to have a break from all the stress for once and be able to read this hilarious stuff. keep writing dude. ur awesome.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

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hahaha funny limericks. my favorite was the last one. good job for this!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Hilarious! I love the way your mind works. Right down my alley, my friend. I"m scared to read all you have here so quickly, I don't want to come to an end. I hope you have more coming soon.

Posted 12 Years Ago




Hey Girls



Stop getting boyfriends.

It makes it really difficult to hit on you.

Wait until I’m dating one of you,

and then carry on.




haha funny

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very sweet collection of thoughts..made me smile just when I needed it..I so enjoy all your work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


this gave me a smile :) Thank you man for this really funny poem!!

Thank you for making me laugh!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Dude, I liked this. Cracked me up and reminds me with all respect, something out of MAD. Nice job

Posted 12 Years Ago


witty.
the first one's my favorite.



Posted 14 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting poem from you. I wasn't expecting this, and yes, I do enjoy. Especially the last one with the pizza delivery guy; it just reminded me of the movie 'Otis'. lol. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is refreshing and witty. I like your advice to girls and tipping the pizza guys. This is unique and I feel ya!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very interesting format. I may use it. I'm always looking into different ways of separating poems. Some parts were better than others. Smoothe was well, smoothe. Clever in rhetoric, and to the point. Usually the first two stanzas etc are the strongest. Hey Girls I found clever, but without insight, imo Reiterate was better, some ambiguity and a deeper feeling. When i first read sunrise, I laughed, but not in a good way. I recognize the double-meaning of "dawned on me" - but I still think it's more clever than pathetic (pathetic in that old Greek way of stirring the feelings). The last part I liked because it was both concrete, and almost aphoristic in its tone - meaning, moral without the preachiness, or true without the conceit. In sum, the first and last parts were strong, while the rest need a little refinement - IMO lol but as the saying goes, "to write, is to rewrite". Interesting piece, regardless.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on May 13, 2010
Last Updated on June 10, 2012

Author

GunMetal
GunMetal

Wish You Were Here, Alta Loma, CA



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