The Endings to Short Stories

This is a story about what I consider to one of the most significant periods of my life, in which I met a girl, who affected me so severely that it molded my personality. Her name is Ariel.

 

I'm on at 3:00 in the morning, and I'm high on caffeine, I had three cups of coffee at my friend's house this afternoon and a Venti cup of coffee at Startbucks. I also chowed on some chocolate covered espresso beans while I was at it. So I haven't slept a wink and I'm still not tired. But man will I be groggy tomorrow. Good night and good morning to everyone. I hope you all had great holidays. Expect me to be on for a few hours.

 

 

The greatest year of my life to date, with the worst December I can remember. Good ol’ 2005. My life changed most drastically that year. That year I took up drums and guitar. That year my best friend, Patrick, and I conceived our adolescent rock band, Tall Hill. That year my not-as-close friend, Matt, and I attempted to start a metal band called Pendulum (which as it turns out, a Drum & Bass band had formed in the same name that year in Australia). That year I started writing poetry. That year my father celebrated two years sober. That year I developed confidence. That year I grew my hair out. That year my relationship with my friends really started to mature. That year I was Christian. That year I experienced my first kiss. That year I experienced my first date. And all the concerts. And all the tribulations. And all the new perspectives. That year I fell in love, and did I ever fall.

 

With all this to remember for the rest of my life, that year ended with no fireworks, scattered half-hearted smiles and reluctant cheers, the grayest sunrise I have ever witnessed, and a hand I should’ve been holding, but was nowhere to be found. Don’t get me wrong, that was the best New Year’s Day I had experienced then. However, what occupied my mind that night made the occasion difficult to fully enjoy.

 

Here is the short story of “2004”, otherwise known as the start of my sophomore year. That year I met Her.

 

On the first day of school, I was still trying to get used to my classes, as expected. I was only a sophomore and hadn’t really explored the school enough to know exactly where any of my classes were, or what the teachers would be like. Most classes ended up being pretty un-extraordinary, save for the thrill of seeing old friends again.

 

The first time I saw Her, I was getting acquainted with my new biology class. She was a freshman. She was cute. She was quiet. It was not love at first sight. In fact, it was quite passive. In my mind I “knew” she’d never like me, so I observed her as a very subtle crush. Like a tourist languidly admiring a work of art at a museum, or a gardener glancing at the hummingbirds feeding on his flowers. Only she can’t fly, and in this simile, the flowers would probably be whatever part of my brain controls infatuation.

 

I could tell she was lonely. I never saw her with many friends, if at all. She simply went about her way in a fashion that seemed to express that she was content within her solitude. Independent. Nonetheless, the opportunity to be her first acquaintance at that school was evident. However, my lack of confidence was also evident as I didn’t even learn her name from her. I noticed it on the side of her biology textbook: Ariel. I remember thinking how much the name suits her, as it is a very pretty name.

 

It didn’t take long for my backseat feelings for this girl to expand into more intense emotions. It was a very subtle transition. It turned from crush, to adoration, to desire in a matter of weeks. Maybe it was her quiet nature that attracted me so much. Or her lack of enthusiasm for “the latest trend” in fashion or whatever. She always wore T shirts and jeans that actually fit her (they weren’t too small for her). Or the fact that she was always reading something, which gave me the impression that she’s smart. All of these are great attributes, but really, I think it was those eyes. It was as a jade sunlight compressed through her irises, making it difficult not to get lost in them. Needless to say, I had some trouble concentrating in biology class.

 

Incidentally, we shared the same P.E. period. We had different gym teachers which meant we could never really interact except on “free days”. These are days in which the P.E. teachers had no planned curriculum and just let us all loose in the gym as a recess. Volleyballs, basketballs, hula-hoops, and sometimes even DDR were provided for recreation, and because it was still within the first couple of weeks of school, these “free days” were quite frequent. One “free day” in particular sticks with me in my mind.

 

Not having many friends in P.E. at the time, I chose to just walk about and watch whatever was going on around me. I noticed Ariel sitting at the farthest corner of the gym. At that point my interest was building the courage to walk over to her and introduce myself. Maybe start a conversation, learn more about her. I spent most of that period ruminating on things I would say. Each moment was a conversation that I could have started with her. Eventually, I simply forfeited the idea. I was timid. She was just sitting there, content in her solitude, just observing everyone in the gym. I regretted that day for a long time, but I eventually decided that it was for the better.

 

I can’t recall if it was November or December, of 04, when I finally did talk to her. My close friend at the time, Liz, saw how much my feelings had grown for this girl and she brought (rather, dragged) me to talk to her.

 

In the mornings, there’s usually time to socialize with peers. I spent my mornings near the front gate of the school, where Ariel also loitered (I don’t care what you think, this was entirely coincidental). I usually just listened to my headphones and tried to look as majestic as possible in case Ariel was watching me. It was one of those mornings that Liz decided to walk me through my insecurity. I’m sure she thought it was a good plan.

 

I had my headphones on. I didn’t know what to expect. I tried my best to stay calm and I convinced myself that it was working. I wasn’t sure exactly what to do, but I knew what to say, “Hi my name is Nick, nice to meet you.” Easy.

Or should I say, “…pleasure to meet you.”

I didn’t really have much time to contemplate my behavior and before I knew it I was out of time.

 

Liz was already acquainted with her so she introduced us. The whole thing was awkward. I went through all the different ways to properly introduce myself, at once, in a single instance, in an attempt to decide what to do…

 

…Instead, I panicked and said, “Do you like Led Zeppelin?”

Ariel smiled and said she has heard of them.

 

Have you ever said something and then as soon as it left your lips, you regretted saying it? That was me.

 

I felt like a dork, and I’m sure I looked like one as well. I was just starting to grow my hair out, but I still used gel in my hair until it got long enough to stay down on its own. I was wearing a faded black, year and a half old t-shirt, a pair of headphones, listening to Led Zeppelin (which is clearly why I said what I had said to her), and a timid expression of embarrassment on my face. I couldn’t get over what I had just said, so I decided to just talk casually to (not with, conversation was not my goal) Liz, instead. I was clearly freaking out.

 

Liz, finally giving up on any hope of me redeeming a conversation with Ariel, tapped my arm and we retreated. I felt like an idiot, and Liz made sure I knew it. I did get one thing out of the whole situation… at least I can talk to her now. Having failed twice already, I wasn’t going to mess this up. The ice was cracked. I needed to break it.

 

It was usually after biology class, that I would try to talk to her. I wasn’t trying to be romantic or wooing, I just wanted to talk. I learned that she was into the same music as me, for the most part. She told me From Autumn to Ashes (FATA), was her favorite band. I had never heard of them. But my favorite band was Iced Earth; she had never heard of them. We both like Metal. Our favorite colors were green and gray. Every similarity that we shared was that much more influence on my infatuation. All the more reason why we were “perfect” for each other, I can remember thinking. I went out and I bought FATA’s “The Fiction We Live”, and I fell in love with the album and the band. The singers were ok, but the lyrics, the guitars, the drums (oh, the drums), and the way it was all put together, was a work of art to rival some of my favorite bands.

After listening to it, I talked to Ariel about it. She said she preferred the first album “Too Bad You're Beautiful”. So naturally, I went and bought that album as well. I personally didn’t think this was better than “The Fiction We Live”, as an album, but the song “Short Stories With Tragic Endings” quickly surpassed almost anything I had heard at the time. It was better, to me, than some Iced Earth songs. For the rest of sophomore year, I carried around a copy of FATA just so when she looked at me changing my CDs, she would see it, because I thought that if I had a CD she liked, I would have a better chance of her liking me. Silly, I know, but that’s how my mind worked.

 

Before my short story of 2004 ended, I gave her a Christmas card with an ambigram of her name that I drew for her (It was her first name, then an eye, then her last name, and when she turned it upside down it was exactly the same), and a note wishing her and her family a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and telling her I’d “watch the sunrise unto a new year” and think of her. She smiled, amazed at the magic of her name as she turned it around, and I smiled at the magic of her smile. I had asked her to go to lunch with my friends and me, to celebrate the end of the semester finals. She said no, of course. I’m not sure why she said no, but I just let it go. While I observe myself as an optimist, I hold a quiet pessimism, so I expected that answer from the start. I went and had lunch with my friends at Taco Bell. I had a great time, but I was thinking about her.

 

That’s how my short story of 2004 ends, with a not-so-upsetting rejection, and a dream of a girl. This is where the short story known as “2005” begins, with the beginning of second semester, the most beautiful golden sunrise I have ever witnessed, and a dream of a girl that the sunrise represents.

 

In 2005 I started to get into Myspace. It’s a website where you can create a profile about yourself to let other people know about you, to keep in contact with friends, and to make new ones. You can type blogs where you can keep a journal entry, a poem, a song, anything that can be typed. You can send messages to anyone, instant message friends online, and make bulletins, which go out to all your friends, on myspace, at once. This website has been growing steadily with a jubilee of people joining everyday. So one day I got this idea to search for Ariel. I found it with no problem, but knowing if it was really hers or not was the problem. She didn’t have a picture of herself on it and her profile description really wasn’t enough to clarify if it was really her or not, so I bookmarked it for a later day.

 

In January I asked her to go to my birthday party. It was hard asking her because I was still shy around her. Every time I would talk to her I walked away with weak legs and shaking hands. When I asked her, I gave her an invitation card with her name in ambigramical form on the envelope. This ambigram had taken me three days to make. It was nice, better than the first one. I was proud of it. She liked it and I found myself once again enchanted by her smile. She never said she wouldn’t come, but when that day rolled around, she never showed. I also let this go, because I had expected this as well. My best friends came over, and we played games, and ate, and listened to music. This was a decent 16^th birthday party.

I don’t know the date of the last time I talked to her that semester. I just know it was after January and before April. I was walking to Spanish class, and I saw her coming from her P.E. class (my classes got changed with the semester) and I went to say hi. She was with a couple of her friends and they were talking, I didn’t want to interrupt, so I waited for a pause in the conversation. I hadn’t been there for long and I wasn’t eve’s dropping, but her friend didn’t know that. So he boorishly told me to “go away” and that this was not my conversation. I was stunned. I stuttered for something to say, but fell short of words. I broke off from them and just stood there, and watched her walk away. She looked back at me. She almost seemed to be concerned, and then I walked away.

 

I was crushed, and it was noticeable, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. My cheeks were red. My face was hot with embarrassment. My hands were shaking. My eyes were watery, and I had a look of disillusion on my face. It was a miserable day, followed by more miserable days. She never looked at me, never said hi, always seemed to avoid me, and it crushed me. Still, I remained optimistic about it, I would tell my best friend at the time, Matt, that she had to look at me at least once to know where to avoid looking. I would catch her glancing at me every now and then, but by the end of the semester, our encounters were little more than memories.

 

I hardly knew her, but she had such a profound impact on my emotions. It amazed and baffled me. My mind kept going back to that regretful day, when I cowered away from the chance to talk to her in the gym at the beginning of the school year. I was such a fool. Yet, at the same time I had no regrets, because I had done more in those encounters than I ever imagined myself capable of doing with a girl that I was so smitten with, and I wouldn’t have traded anything for those encounters. I lived and I learned.

 

So I went into summer. I started liking a girl from my church. She was nice, but she didn't effect me the way Ariel did. I went to summer camp and met a bunch of cool people. I started going to pool tournaments. I went on field trips with my youth group. I became very spiritual. I had asked the church girl out but she was dealing with her own problems and it never worked out. I was understanding and decided I would be there for her and be her friend and talk to her when she needed someone to talk to.

 

I found out my little sister had taken up smoking that summer. She was only two years younger than me. I was very disappointed. She would say, ”What’s the big deal, it’s only smoking, it’s not like I’m doing drugs.” But it was a big deal, to me, because seeing her do that devastated me. A profound amount of my trust for her was lost as she constantly quit, and started, and quit again, and started again. I love my little sister, and to see her do that to herself was agonizing. I felt helpless. I tried, I really did, and I tried some more, but it never worked out. I would catch her smoking, or find a cigarette in her room, and would once again get my feelings hurt. Until one day I finally gave up and stayed out of her business. It was hard for me to do. I consulted my youth leader, and some church friends. I did some research on the matter. I gave the best advice that I could think of, but she still went back. I love her, but since then, things just haven’t been the same between us.

 

This summer, my friend, Patrick, and I really started to connect, and the more we hung out, the more we found in common with each other. To iterate a cliché, he’s like the brother I never had. Our souls seem to be perfectly in tune with each other. He helped me learn things that can’t be taught, like a sense of humor, humility, patience. My vocabulary dramatically widened from talking with him so much. He always has the best advice to give, and hanging out with him never got old. He was there when I couldn’t be with the church girl, he was there when I found that my sister smoked, he was there at my birthday party. He’s there for me, and I’m stoked to know him.

 

All of this is relevant, because by the end of the summer I had almost forgotten about Ariel. In fact, I thought I was completely over her, but as I had learned several times before, my feelings are deceptive. As soon as school started to come back, I was going through the memories of our encounters and how I felt, and slowly but surely, the feelings I had once harbored were resurfacing.

 

We once again had science class together; Chemistry. She sat two seats in front of me. Still too far to talk, but close enough to admire again. It was after a ZZ Top concert that I finally worked up enough courage to talk to her, but just because I had the courage to do it, doesn’t mean I did. I decided to wait until after the FATA concert I was going to, that way I could buy her the new FATA CD, “Abandon Your Friends” at the concert, and give it to her.

 

When I gave her the CD I was shaking. There’s no way she didn’t notice it. She is very observant. Another trait we both hold and I admired. She was more beautiful than ever this school year. I didn’t think it possible. I waited a couple of days and asked her what she thought of it. She said she didn’t like it as much as the others. This surprised me. I thought that it was brilliant.

 

It was around that time frame that I decided to take Ariel off my bookmarks and ask to be her friend on myspace. I didn’t talk to her for a while after that. Besides the occasional holding the door open for her, and “hi”s, and “Have a good day”’s, things were pretty casual between us.

 

When football season started up, I tried dating again. I asked a couple girls out, but no matter how things went, the relationships never worked for me. In the first relationship I had actually gotten my first kiss, but I never felt anything, there might have been something in the beginning but it was nothing to rollover for. When that relationship ended I felt relieved. I asked another girl out. Her name was Elizabeth. She was cute and I liked her and had more feelings for her than the first girl, but I never liked her as much as I did Ariel. Honestly, I never liked anyone as much as I did Ariel.

As I was dating Elizabeth, we had a one-week Thanksgiving vacation where I lost all contact with her. She couldn’t give me her number because her parents would get mad if I called, and I couldn’t find her myspace, so we were temporarily disconnected. It was during that week that I started to really talk to Ariel on myspace. We communicated via comments on each other’s sites throughout the nights, and when I got her screen name for AOL Instant Messenger, we “AIM”ed each other throughout the nights. We would talk about things like music, hobbies, friends, and how our days went. The more I talked to her, the more I liked her, and the worse I felt for Elizabeth. I didn’t know what to do. I really liked Ariel, a lot, but I didn’t want to break up with Elizabeth because of Ariel.

 

“Everything will work out in the end, and if it doesn’t, you know it’s not the end yet.” I have no idea who made this quote, but whoever did is pretty clever. The day we came back to school from Thanksgiving break, Elizabeth broke up with me because of lack of communication. I was disappointed at first, but then I realized how much that decision helped me out. When the relationship ended I felt like a weight had been lifted. Now I could talk to Ariel, and like her without feeling guilty.

 

December 18^th, short story “2005”, I find that Ariel had a survey on her Myspace blog. It asked questions like: if I liked her, if I loved her, if I would kiss/hug her. This was a perfect opportunity for me to really tell her how I felt, like my second chance with that day in the gym. I bit my lip and seized the opportunity. I typed out how I felt for her, that I loved her and how pretty she was. Patrick helped me through the whole thing. I filled out all the questions honestly, and posted it in her comments. Knowing that she was filling out the same survey for me, I waited for a reply.

 

I got the answers the next day. My heart was racing as I read it. It felt like it would leap right out of my mouth. I was scared. I really was. I waited ‘till Patrick was on AIM, and we read it together. When I finished reading it, I was shocked. I needed to take deep breaths. I felt so many different emotions, all at once. I had to have Patrick call me because I needed to hear a pleasant voice. Before long, Ariel came back online, and Patrick got off the phone with me so I could concentrate on talking to her via AIM. It was awkward because neither of us knew what to say.

 

I brought up the survey. She said it was hard for her to fill it out. She’s not used to expressing her feelings. I knew how she felt. We have so much in common. We talked for a while longer and after I got offline, I collapsed in my bed and thought for a while. On the survey she had said she definitely liked me, and, “I think it’s possible it could turn to love,” that I was handsome, and that she would want to give me happiness. I read that survey over and over again, and somehow the answers stayed the same; I wasn’t seeing things. It seemed so absurd. It was really hard to believe. By the time I fell asleep, I had come to a decision. I was going to ask Ariel out.

 

 

Diary Entry: December 20^th, 2005

 

I woke up, and got a ride to school from my friend, Grant, which was cool, that never happens. I got my coffee like usual and met Matt in the usual spot. The bell rang and I waited for Ariel to come to her first period class. I went to ask her, and hesitated, because I was nervous. Before I could ask the bell rang and I had to go to class. After first period, I met her outside her class and walked her to her next one. I asked her out as we were walking. At first I was stuttering a lot, I didn’t know how to go about it. It was hard. I didn’t quite panic like the first time I met her, but rather, I uttered a handful of inaudible phrases. Finally, I just shut my mouth, took a short breath, and asked her out. She looked at me with luminous eyes, and said yes. Having just littered gibberish all over the place, I really didn’t know what to say next, so I asked her if I could hold her hand. I held it until we got to her class. I was so happy. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so great. I had a plethora of energy and excitement bottled up inside, but I didn't want to appear too giddy about this. I wanted to look strong, calm, and content. When I left her at her class, I needed to do something. I looked around and saw my friend, Devon, walking down the hall. He practically had a target painted on his back. I ran up to him and virtually knocked him down. All day I was having good luck. That was the best day I can remember.

Diary Entry: December 21^st, 2005

I woke up and felt uncomfortable about something, but I didn’t know what. I just had this unusual feeling. When I called Grant to see if he could take me to school, he didn’t answer the phone, and a thought crossed my mind, that maybe today wasn’t gonna be a good day. Bah, you’re with Ariel now, how can any day be bad when you’re with her. That’s what I thought, but then I almost missed the bus. I didn’t have to run too much. I was out of money so I couldn’t get my usual cup of coffee. When I met Matt like usual, my spot was taken. Oh well, it happens. I sat on the other side of the group.

 

The bell rang and I waited for her to come. When she showed up she pulled me aside to talk to me. She said she didn’t want to be in a relationship, that things were too stressful for her already, and that it was too much to think about. I was stunned. She was so beautiful, even upset and worried, the look on her face was genuine, and I really couldn’t help but smile a little bit. I wanted to say, “I understand,” and that it’s all right, but I didn’t understand. I was confused and disappointed, but I smiled nonetheless. I was at a loss for words. The bell rang, she went to her class and I walked heavyhearted to my class. I was still smiling, because when I saw her like that, it was like seeing her for the first time, with real emotions it seemed. I loved her even more.

 

I was still confused and upset, so I met her after class. As we were walking to her next class, I, once again, got my feelings hurt. I asked if she liked me, and she said yes. I said I could wait, and she said I shouldn’t. I said I didn’t like anyone else, and this time she just stopped walking. I looked her in her brilliant eyes, and she looked away. She said something about; she liked being single. But everything felt like it was on fast-forward, so everything she said was hard for me to catch. I don’t know what I said after that, but when she walked away, it was in slow motion. She dissipated amongst the still rapid crowd. Only this time, as she walked away, she didn’t look back. This time, I just stood there and watched her fly away. I don’t know how long I stood there, and I don’t remember moving, but I was halfway to class before I knew it.

 

I didn’t understand. I don’t understand.

 

When I got to class I was once again, red cheeked, hot-faced, wet eyed and disillusioned, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. When we said the Pledge of Allegiance (we recite it in second period) I couldn’t even recognize my voice at first. I just sat down and rested my head, which was as heavy as my heart. All that daylong I had mood swings, from sad, to angry, to content, in no particular order. This upset Patrick. He probably knew I was feeling pretty distraught right then, but for the first time, he couldn’t think of anything to say to me. I was just glad I could tell him. I didn’t tell him how sad I was, though he probably knew.

 

When I got home I was relieved. Grant couldn’t give me a ride home, but this didn’t surprise me. With the way my day was going, the school could’ve been struck by lightning and I would not have been surprised at all. Patrick came online and I told him how disappointed I was. I allowed myself to cry a little, as I was emotional and unstable. I really had no idea what to do with myself. I was confused. Patrick tried to console me by inviting me to his church for a Christmas Pot Luck. I went, and it really did help. For that, I was grateful.

 

When I got home I wrote Ariel a message on her myspace, saying that I still didn’t understand, but I trust her, and I would hate to stress her out. That was no lie. That’s how I felt, but that wasn’t everything. I honestly felt like screaming. I felt like I had been robbed, like it wasn’t fair. I wanted to be with her so much, to feel her hair, to see her face brighten when she saw me, to hold her, to look into her eyes and tell her how much I adored her… to hold her hand again. I was so sad, and angry, hurt, and confused, and yet I still smiled whenever I saw her. She was just so beautiful.

 

I stayed up at night hoping she’ll be online, hoping that she will tell me something I wanted to hear, or needed to hear. I prayed for strength and understanding. I recited the serenity prayer over and over in my head because it comforted me. It made me feel like I had done my part and everything else was meant to be. I wished to be with her, because that’s what I wanted, because I didn’t know what I needed, because I didn’t think it was fair.

 

 

Diary Entry: January 5^th, 2006

 

My holiday break has been horrible. Thinking about her is horrible because it only hurts. The definition of torture is excruciating physical or mental pain; agony; something causing severe pain or anguish. It used to make me happy to think about her, because I knew that she liked me, now I don’t know, now it just hurts, the more I think about her the more it hurts inside and I think about her all the time. From when I wake, to when I go to sleep. It’s her. She’s my worst damn affliction and I both hate it, and I love it. But I’m afraid to leave it because, what if she changes her mind? What if she decided to come back and be with me? That’s why I’m afraid to forget about her. That’s why I would wait for her. My father calls this addictive behavior. Others might call me desperately optimistic. I call it faithful, and hopeful. Some call this denial.

 

I saw her on January 10^th no story 2006. I asked her if we could hang out when she doesn’t have practice after school. She said she had practice everyday and that they rarely ever have days off. I saw her again on the 11^th, after school, going home. Maybe it is denial. I’m either very foolish, or fate is very wise.

 

With all this to remember for the rest of my life, that year ended with no fireworks, scattered half-hearted smiles and reluctant cheers, the grayest sunrise I have ever witnessed, and a hand I should’ve been holding, but was nowhere to be found. Don’t get me wrong, that was the best New Year’s Day I had experienced then. However, what occupied my mind that night made the occasion difficult to fully enjoy.

 

 

Diary Entry: January 8^th, 2006

 

So I’m up, at three in the morning and I’m going to make a bulletin. It’s gonna say exactly why I can’t sleep, and it’s gonna be pleasant and friendly, when really it’s just a mask to hide how I really feel inside, how I’m feeling torn and angry and bitter. It’s all this bitterness that made this holiday so terrible.

 

And at the same time, it’s been the best Holiday I’ve ever had. Hanging out with Patrick, watching the gray sunrise with him and knowing what it stands for. Not for her, even though that’s her favorite color, and not for a new start or a new beginning, no.

 

I know what true love feels like; it has nothing to do with sex or marriage. It’s knowing that there’s someone there for you, and knowing that they care and would go to any lengths to be there for you, and to help you when they can. It’s them knowing the same thing about you. I just want to let Ariel know that that’s how I felt for her. Honest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Listen to your heart, and trust that, in the end Fate knows best.” ^{Patrick Atwater}

Author's Note

Please, any criticism is welcome. I wrote this a long time ago, and just did a bit of revision before I posted it here. I'm not that experienced in story writing, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

Reviews

[Elvina CZq]

I'm reading a story that feels like I'm watching a chic-flick or high school romance movie. Do not get me wrong, this is actually a very touching, heart-wrenching, sad, yet beautiful short story. I love the title you've set, and I like how you make these memories of yours as "short stories". I'm sure most readers who read this will understand the feelings and emotions you had, and able to relate to; I am, of course, not excluded. haha. Well, I think it really takes up a lot courage to write this down. I believe these bittersweet memories of yours are quite deep and visible, since you could write it down so wonderfully. The story flows well and smooth like the calming stream. Although, there are a few typos:
Caffine => Caffeine (first paragraph), Love at first site => Sight, would be better (sixth paragraph), A pear of... => Pair (17th paragraph),

As I was reading, there's a line really caught my attention: "While I observe myself as an optimist, I hold a quiet pessimism..." Very creative, I love how you put these words into one perfect line.

You might want to keep up with more short stories then, because I do believe you have that taleny to keep on writing some. Write and Rock on :) haha

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

This was really a cool story and kept me interested to continue reading to the end but has the story really ended? as you quoted all things work out in the end and if they haven't it isn't the end yet. great write. I usually get bored with these types of stories especially long ones. but I was not bored at all with this story.

[Adora.xo]

This was beautifully written. Definitely shed a tear a think, and even made me saw "Awww!" Wonderful wonderful job love!

~Adora

[Katerina C]

holy crap. oh my gosh. dude i love it. Every word I read had drawn me in deeper. Laughter, and aws. I love it man, I really really love it.

[Natalie]

You did a great job with this!!! It was well written and held my interest, which is more than I can say for a lot of stories. You could stretch this storyline out into a teen novel, and although it probably would appeal to girls more, so what??? Girls go through this and want to know that guys do, too.

[Doreen]

Aw, this is so sweet and so sad. I enjoyed the story very much. I'm reminded of a song by Garth Brooks that mentions "I thank God for unanswered prayers" - you never know what will happen in the future.

[GunMetal]

Wow, xD I can't believe I missed those, lol, I'm so nit-picky about my spelling before I post something.

I hate to admit it, but yea, this part of my past was definitely like a high school romance/chic flick, lol. Thank you for the review.

[WriterSki7]

Well written. You seem to be off to a good start if you plan to be an author (there's a word for people who write poems. It's called "Poets") I didn't get the chance to review it to the letter but it was a good story none-the-less.

[James Watts]

This is pretty good. I usually don't read anything but fiction, I liked this. It was well written and reminded me a lot of my own past.