Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

I just really wanted to write a love story about ghosts at an abandoned carnival.

Somewhere in the landscape of forgotten memories

stands a place so empty

not even sound can move through it

without hesitating around corners.

Ticket booths and hot dog stands

all bleak as post-mortem monuments.

Effigies to Once Wonderful, and Filled with Color.

We stand transparent beneath a webbed attraction

next to a grinning mannequin promising altitude

for only $5

But we must be this tall to ride.

We weren’t afraid when the tracks collapsed.

We fell for each other.

Your moon-glow changes color to whatever you pass in front of.

Aubergine, Celeste, Chartreuse, Cordovan.

Electric crimson.

Anti-flash white.

Instruments and carnival lights flicker to life

when touched by your energy.

You’re like virga and petrichor.

I’m the luckiest ghost alive.

Isn’t this how you always imagined it?

Flowers of all kind and color,

Friends and family sharing stories of our life

before each other.

While we were dressed in autumn shades of fog.

They prayed for us, and wept for us

staged our departure in black veils.

Morning sage.

Shoulder heavy.

While we stood on each other’s tombstones

and exchanged vows.

I promise you that my heart never stopped.

You made it skip every single beat.

People still come here, ghost hunting.

We look forward to it.

There are still attractions here.

Ethereal whispers of nothings.

We haunt everything before the sunrise.

Author's Note

I've been experimenting with fiction recently.

Reviews

[quixotic_rose]

I just love your style so much, maybe its because its refreshing and out of the norm of what I normally read on here, but whatever element you've got I'm hooked. Your words are divine, I feel like a spectator to the events going on. This just made my day that much better, I find it refreshingly brilliant. Keep writing with your awesome ways :)

[Cassie Fraga]

WOW!!! you captivate me.... such a beautiful poetic story you have here!!!
**keep that ink flowin mistah... I'm diggin yo style** I appreciate the creativity and romance... GREAT WRITE INDEED!!!

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

I found this story fascinating. What I liked the most is the way you jump from one striking, colorful image, to another, yet creating a continuous flow of events. You suggested perfectly the carnival atmosphere. It is like fireworks for a deaf man.

[M.E.Lyle]

What fascinates me about WC is the people you meet, each has their own unique style with strange twists and turns. This work truely is interesting and unique, a voyage into a new realm of surrealism.
This also has a very smooth flow to it making it easy to read.
Thanks for sharing.

[G!o]

This is totally great. I love your style of writing, you know actually put us in the shoes of every single line. Really lovely and if you call this experimenting, then damn....

[GunMetal]

Thank you. Most of the time, when I wrote fiction, it would usually be inspired by a dream I might have had. It's experimental for me to write fiction based solely on imagination. I'm glad it's going over well.

[G!o]

Well it's great. You should practice a lot....i totally enjoyed this.

[Ink Angel]

Experiment away! this is perfect. I love the second stanza, images of a ghost town. A glimpse into the other side, 7th stanza, I like too. Thank you.

[joshua deathdealer]

I think you did a fabulous job here. Well done.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Gunmetal,

I greatly enjoyed this. Your emotions and thoughts are complicated and so different from mine. We should have some deep conversations sometime. I think we'd learn much from each other.

You continue to paint complicated, barely ordered thought, emotions, visions--I mean no disrespect, truly. I find this fascinating and wonderful. You move on a different plane.

Very much enjoyed with many deep ponderings! High marks,

Best regards,

Rick

[Satire69]

You need to experiment more. I liked!

[That_Girl]

Wow... this was great! This was very interesting, not to mention hella creative. Really enjoyed reading this! Well done!

[Destinyxi]

I really like the story, I could picture every scene. Very nice poem :)