I crave the love that doesn't hurt - the love that's always there - the love that will envelop us without expecting a single thing in return - the love that comes when you finally put aside your craving / wanting / need ... now that's an endless love
I like the sentiment of your poem ... best wishes for the muse X
This is a fine write, Giullia, which smacks of credibility. It has many rich lines and describes so many facets or shapes love may take. To feel them all for one person is a joyous thing to be treasured.
As is my wont may I offer two comments, but don't be in any doubt about how good I think this is and how much I enjoyed reading it and getting inside it. The two thoughts are
(1) The very first line sounds a bit desperate as though you happened upon someone who ticked all the boxes on an ache you already had. Personally I'd change it to finish with 'you' like the 4th line
(2) You brought my stone cold heart to life .... a fabulous line, but it contains the only past tense verb in the whole poem. It's clear why - they 'awoke' you and since then you've been on a different plane. So I get it. All I can say is, if it had been me, I would have been searching for a way to get the same notion across using the present tense - for me, it jarred ever so slightly.
I don't like the way my 'negative' comments take more space. I really like this poem and, frankly, I'm envious!
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
I welcome your reviews, Nigel, always. I find it interesting to see how my poems affect you and I al.. read moreI welcome your reviews, Nigel, always. I find it interesting to see how my poems affect you and I always want to get constructive criticism. This site is a place for writers to grow and get better. That's what I'm aiming for. Thank you for taking your time with your review. After all, I'm happy you liked it :)