Magic

As I stand on the beach with my toes in the sand, 

I can feel the water slowly touching my feet,

I look up at the starry sky and wonder: 

"Death.. Why him?"

"I knew when I saw you, I saw magic. How can I not fall for pure magic?" 

I always think about you when things are going wrong. 

In the middle of the night when I hear the heavy raindrops falling down from a dark sky, 

I think of you.

I always find you in the darkest corners of my mind.

I find myself so torn in this repetitious, dull world.

I hug myself, trying to hold all the broken pieces together. 

These days without you feels like pure agony. 

The mere thought of being without you feels as dark as the sky. 

But then I start to remember.

All the flashbacks come running back. 

The good ones keep me sane.

And I find myself warm on a cold December day.

I feel my troubles drifting away with the wind.

I blink at a star far, far away, watching it as it blinks back at me.

"Thank you for guiding me..."

"...for guiding me to him."   

Reviews

[Kibbles and Quips]

I really enjoyed this poetic narrative. It is written quite well and the emotions come naturally, almost organically; not forced. I have only a couple pieces of advice or ideas:

Firstly, I say play a little with format. You can probably break a few of your longer lines apart to better your narrative's flow. You can even have some lines stand alone between stanzas such as, "I always find you in the darkest corners of my mind." I think that's a good stand alone line.

Secondly, I think you could mess around and tinker with some of your repetitions, both large and small.

"I think of you.
I think about you in the middle of a sentence.
I think about you when I miss my bus."

The "rule of three" is a great literary device to stress something but, in this case, the effect is dampened when, in the second and third line, "about" is repeated as well. There's a conflict there. If there is variance in the repeat, then the variations themselves should vary as well, and none be fully alike.

Anywho, those are just some small things that I noticed or thought of. Take'm with however many grains of salt you please. Regardless, thanks for writing and thank you for sharing!

[Giulia King]

Thank you for the feedback! I changed it a bit :)

[...]

Very expressive, I've had some one on my mind so while reading this I felt heavy. Missing someone is as intoxicating as loving someone the pull can be immense. You've captured the feeling well. Starz

[Giulia King]

Thank you Starz! I appreciate your review :) Missing someone sucks !

[Tabby Mac]

Tell me if I am right...Death is the stars? If so I follow. It took me a minute at the end. I first thought the stars were another place she saw him in her mind.
I like it. I can feel the pain in this piece. The message I believe is that through the grief she is still grateful for the time she had. I like and understand the transistion this time from first to third it is smooth.
Very heartfelt. I enjoyed this.
Tabby

[Giulia King]

Exactly! I don't want to explain too much, maybe the poem will lose It's magic. Thank you Tabby!

[Valentine]

Strong feelings lain out for all of us to see. Missing is just another part of loving I guess. Valentine

[Giulia King]

Thanks! :)

[tanmay7551]

Very beautiful and pure thoughts like a breeze. Sad though that a love is lost but on the other side good all those thoughts running through mind are very engaging.

[Giulia King]

I'm glad that I can turn a bad situation into something beautiful. Writing helps a lot! Thank you :)

[Lizzy Morgan]

Wow I had someone in the back of my mind while reading this and tears in my eyes, this was beautiful!!!

[Giulia King]

Whatever it is, I hope you're okay! Thank you so much!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is so amazing!! I felt like whispering the lines while reading.. You capture the emotions beautifully m, Gullia! Great work here. Simply no critics..

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much Yumna! :) I really appreciate your lovely words!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are welcome, Miss King! Always a pleasure ☺

[LapseOfMind]

Nicely done. Very expressive and a wonderful glimpse into the human connection. It's funny how are needs can often become our pain, a destructive addiction

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much for reading! You're right !