Slow Dance Into The Dark

I think I see you everywhere.

From the color of your hair,

to the color of your eyes.

As we slow dance into the dark. 

I can feel his heartbeat, it beats for me. 

. . . 

There wasn’t anyone else in her mind or in her eyes. 

He was everywhere.

"I have to let you go" she said.

"But I'm not ready just yet." 

"Let go, and know that I will always be here, 

waiting for you to slow dance with me once more." he said.

"People will come and go out of my life, 

but you, you are constant. 

The only star in my life."

He gave her a smile she will never forget. 

. . . 

As she lets go of his hands she suddenly feels the cold tugging on her.

"Maybe eventually everything will get better.

I just can’t wait for it." 

She says as she looks up at the night sky. 

Author's Note

a work in progress.

(Congratulations!
Your poem Slow Dance Into The Dark has been awarded 1st Place in the Explain Coping writing contest.)

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Gullia Kin,
"Slow Dance Into The Dark"
First of all congratulations on your contest winning! How wonderful!
Such courage it takes to let go a relationship. For reeally it is the release of what is hoped for and wanted.
This poem was inspiring because the heart recognized that it was not a two way street and moved forward and into a new path.
Beautiful ending;
"Maybe eventually everything will get better. I just can't wait for it." She says as she looks up at the night sky.
Blessings,
Kathy

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much for your amazing words here Kathy! I'm happy you like this piece, it took some strength and courage to publish it.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Yes, it is wonderful. I bet you are still just so happy and I am happy for you too. I hope that writing is something you continue to enjoy.
Blessings.

[Lol Thats Life]

This piece of work is truly beautiful in every way as well as magnificent to a point of which i can relate to. Great job cannot wait to read more by you.

[Giulia King]

Wow, thank you so much for this amazing review! :)

[Alex Doerner]

I love this! It's simple and open to be continued, but I like that while it stands alone it leaves a lot to the imagination. It keeps you interested without telling you everything, which is definitely a good skill to have as a writer.

[Giulia King]

I'm so happy you like it :) I'm leaving it like this for a while. I don't want to write something and mess it up. Thank you so much!

[Kesha]

I really liked this one, whether it's unfinished or not, it simply spoke volumes. Nicely written

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much! :)

[Kesha]

You're welcome :)

[Re-Pete]

this is a great intro but is begging to be finished. I love the title and the tale. it leaves me longing to know where it is going. it is full of passion.

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much for reading this one! I really want to make it into a novel but I don't really know where to start. I'm afraid that it'll lose it's magic if I start to make it longer..

[Re-Pete]

just go with your gut instinct. it will be whatever you want it to be. :)

[Alessander]

I agree with Bacchus.

This reads like the start of a story or novel, or excerpt.

In your note, you mention it's a work in progress, so maybe you can turn into a "flash fiction" or "Prose-poem" piece to begin (it practically is already).

However, the first stanza is definitely more lyrical (hair/everywhere) before it kinda morphs.

(though still some rhyme later (her/better - yet/forget)

So I guess my suggestion would be to follow the first stanza with the slim lines and rhymes, or experiment with it as a prose/flash fiction piece.

Love the idea of dancing into the dark. Great hook with lots of meaty possibilities.

Anywho, glad I came across it :)

[Giulia King]

Great idea, Alessander! :) I've been thinking about this one for a long time but I never know how or where to start. I'm glad you wrote this review. Made my mind start spinning haha.

[Alessander]

No problem. spinning in a good way i hope :)

[Bacchus]

sounds like the beginning of a novel...
hope to hear more

[Giulia King]

Love that idea! Thank you.

[Moose'thePoet]

It's amazing how a person looks up close and having to see ones flows... Nice one... So sound and intimate... Even though letting go is not an option, most things do not last forever...

[Giulia King]

So true! Thank you so much dear poet :)

[Diamond]

Stars, sky and infinity. Wish they become the real home. This is an excellent piece and yes, being a work in progress makes sense as it drips with passion and unquenched thirst.

[Giulia King]

I wish the same! Thank you so much

[Eagle Cruagh]

She gazed deep into the stars, feelings bubble to the surface, feeling that she hopes the world will never see. She gazes beyond the stars for they are only things. What she seeks he will not give for he is only man.
She tests the water another time, but her slow dance excites her beyond beyond reason and he is gone.
---- Eagle Cruagh