Cut Down (working title)

Cut Down (working title)

A Poem by Christopher Norton
"

Another seed of an idea

"
     Look to the sad little boy in the corner of a small, dark room. His tired and troubled gaze fixed on the floor, so close to breaking. By himself but never alone, his head swims with a thousand ghosts. The Verse-chorus-verse of mockery, abandonment, abuse. Tick-tock, the hands of the clock. Seasons change inside his mind. The icy November storm clouds are just overhead and as they swell to they swell to their bursting point, the last soft light of childhood leaves his eyes. 

     He cries tears of lead and his sobs boom like thunder. The strong and the proud scatter before the swell. 

© 2014 Christopher Norton


Author's Note

Christopher Norton
I had a much more fleshed out version that was lost on another computer.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

You have a way of writing that really pulls at the heart string, very moving piece x

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The icy November storm clouds are just overhead and as they swell to they swell to their bursting point, the last soft light of childhood leaves his eyes.
----
The icy November storm clouds are just overhead and as they swell do they swell to their bursting point, the last soft light of childhood leaves his eyes.
---
I believe you want "do" instead of "to" there...
the beginning got my attention ---
and the rest goes about the event...
you give the reader a visual...
yet not enough of what the abandonment...
is about in the lines...
the question --- is where does he go from here...
the emotional thoughts are quite pronounced...
unless that was the view point is to lure the reader...
and come up with his/her own answers as to why...
Just my two cents worth here...
but I'm sure there was more to this in the other computer...


Posted 10 Years Ago


Christopher Norton

10 Years Ago

Iaccidentally typed "they swell to" over again. Not intentional. There is an answer and a finality t.. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

10 Years Ago

Its been some time since reading this one...I read again...and the last line does give the reader th.. read more
As I said.... just a seed. Where does this go? Any ideas? What does it say to you? I'm not sbtle and the allegory should be apparent. Too thin?


Posted 10 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

401 Views
3 Reviews
Added on March 21, 2014
Last Updated on March 21, 2014
Tags: murder, depression, hate, love, taco, suicide

Author

Christopher Norton
Christopher Norton

S. Glens Falls, NY



About
Subtlety is not my style. How can I describe myself without sounding self-indulgent? I could say something dark and clever but the truth is, I'm an uneducated, high school dropout who has never don.. more..

Writing