Virtual Dirt

This is an expansion on my first "poem" Dirt. I just finished writing a chapter called "Addicted to Drama" and I wanted something to accompany the title. I thought about 'Dirt' and on the ride to work came up with this expansion.

Dirt is the opiate
Of the small child.

However, as adolescence approaches,
Occurs a change of sorts.

Where virtual dirt; human drama,
Becomes the opiate of the adult.

Reviews

[Alex Lifeson]

Good thing I am not claiming to be a poet then (please see my explanation in the 'poem' dirt). Michael was offended when I called him pretentious on this thread:

http://www.writerscafe.org/forum.php?t=3411

So he decided to come onto my page and "tear me a new one". Kudos!! Actually since I am an addictions therapist, I think opiate is perfect.

[Angel Veselinov]

Sad But True Greatly expressed.

[James Takeo Panton]

philisophically (is that word?) poetic......simple words means simple truth.....good stuff....

[Jenny Davis]

Oh, yes...very interesting this is, indeed! I echo others sentiments, you are a poet and perhaps a philosopher too. Thank you for entering this in the Vent Radio contest :)

[Raef C. Boylan]

Shrewd yet subtle observations. You're right: people are too addicted to 'drama' (i.e. dirt) - I think maybe TV is a little to blame for this situation being on the increase, but it's always been there and i don't know why it happens. You've shown nicely here the discarding of more innocent past times in exchange for adult interests - strange how people call it 'maturing'.
As this is only a small piece, any repetition is very noticeable; I think you should consider finding an alternative way to express "opiate of the adult", as this second use of your image detracts slightly from its impact.

Overall, nice work. Hope to see some more poetry from you.

[Celtic Cat]

OH, and I thought it was just me. I was gonna become an actress because I figured I should get the drama onto the stage and out of my life. Huh, just more dirt. go figure.
Oh, and have you noticed? You have the featured review for your own piece (Dirt). hehe, now THAT's funny!!

[Pema Dorje]

mud slinging; sticks and stones will break my bones ...

[Zephyr]

for such a small piece, this is very thought-provoking.
and very true, in many ways.

well written.

[Alpha]

It's sad.

And i disagree.. you should call yourself a poet.

[Michael Bauer]

"opiate" is already cliche' so i start in on this thinking that it's going to be an off the shelf patterning of "just like a poet" writing. the "however" though takes it out of poetry space altogether and i get it, that this is a post-it memo to a dog not to pee on the floor again.

if you post as poetry, poets are going to read you and look at you with their x-ray poetry brain. :)

"dirt is the day
of the small child:
playing with
earth and mother
and sky.

when he get's fuzz-chinned,
the joey gets bolder,
prances the alley
of the shadow of sin."

there. wasn't that cute?