Lost in Love

TRIGGER WARNING: Just as a warning there are some triggering mentions in this work of fiction, read at your own risk if you are easily triggered (Although this isn't Tumblr)

            Why I decided to skip class, I’ll never really understand. I just felt the need to go to the roof, and that it couldn’t wait. That something was calling out to me, something very important that could no longer be ignored, and that is when I discovered a very deep secret about an upper classman that everyone knew, but no one truly understood. A man who even though he sealed off his heart, he still bled freely from it. Engulfed in darkness, lonely and in despair that is how I found him. This is where my story begins, where my life changed, for better or worse.

            I stood in front of the open door, staring at the upper classman before me who was standing on the ledge of the building.

            “What are you doing?!” I call out rushing and grabbing his arm. “You can’t possibly be thinking about jumping! You idiot people care about you!” I yell at him, anger welling up inside me.

            Turning towards me with sadness flowing from his eyes he quietly responds. “Do you really believe that?”

            I nod pulling him away from the ledge “You’re popular; everyone likes you and knows you!”

            Scoffing he pulls away “Just because everyone knows about me, or people like me, doesn’t mean that people actually know me.” He slowly walks towards the door. “If I want to kill myself, who are you to stop me? Miss Depression. Everyone knows you attempted your life, so why do you try to stop others?” He leaves without giving me time to respond, as a cold sadness fills my body, driving away the anger that was there previously. Collapsing against a wall I bury my head in my arms. “So it is true…everyone heard about what happened, but none of them know why I tried to do it…”

            That night was the worst in my memory, the night I found out I was just being used by my so called friends. They invited me to an end of the year party; it had a bunch of people from other schools, and they even got one of their older brothers to supply the booze, typical high schooler party that everyone hears about. But it was different for me; I was there for their entertainment.  They surrounded me after everyone started to get drunk, some of them holding me by my arms so I couldn’t get away, the others circling up, like hyenas after a wounded animal. They forced a drug down my throat and I felt my body go numb, they let me fall to the floor laughing and grinning. In turn, they took their time pawing at my body, ripping my clothes off. As the party progressed and each guy had their turn groping me, some of them got bolder. Fingering and rubbing against me they took turns having their way with my limp body.

            Tears start to stream down from my cheeks as I curl up tighter and tighter. This is why I tried to kill myself, they threatened to post pictures that they took if I said anything, and when I failed to do so, I fell apart and told my parents everything that had happened, causing drama to stir at my old school and the bullying to start. I became known as Miss Depression and it spread from school to school, even to this one so far away from where it originally started.
            As the bell tolls for the end of the day, I slowly uncurl from my ball, my tears all dried up. With I sigh I look up at the sun. “One day, I’ll be able to forget.” With that, I get to my feet dusting myself off and head for the door.

            “Took you long enough” A voice says as I pass through the threshold. Startled I jump and back up against a wall.

            “Please don’t scare me like that Jess; I was having a rough time after running into someone else on the roof.” I reply as I catch my breath.

            “Oh? Who was it you ran into?” Jess links arms with me as we start to walk

            “That really popular boy, Kael I think it was.”

            Jess stops and turns to me getting real close to my face. “You got to talk to THE Kael?!? What’s he like? What did you talk about? Wahhhh how lucky of you” With a big fan girl smile she keeps pestering me.

            I give a tense smile and back away. “I was nothing important. I just remembered I have to go do some paperwork for my club, text me later!” With that I dash off, avoiding everyone on my way until I end up at my club room. I flop down into one of the chairs and pull out a book and my notes from it. “Why does it have to be me that has to write each review for the Literary Club…Oh yeah that’s right, I’m the only one that stayed in it.” I mutter under my breath. “I can’t really complain, it lets me keep the club room as long as it looks like people are actively in it, and as long as I submit the “groups overall review” my adviser looks the other way.