Breaking Heaven

Eternal pillars crumble before my eyes;

Boundless walls, decimated by my lies.

I take in a wisp of cloud as it delicately flies,

Amidst the pieces of God’s fallen fortress,

Plummeting from the skies.

Reviews

[M. L. F.]

Beautiful. I like this sentiment of this piece a lot.
...Misty

[Katie Lynn]

This is really beautiful, Jason. Short, but really full of emotion...I hope you write some more here soon. :)

[Stephen]

Sounds interesting! It`s short but well expressed via few poetic words. I liked this write!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Much impact with these five lines. beautiful poem and this line "I take a wisp of a cloud as it delicately flies" is soo lovely.

Chloe

[Guardian]

Really liked this poem. Each line had purpose and feeling behind it. No word was used without reason. Beautiful flow and line to it.

[A.Lee]

I really like this. For such a short poem, it has a lot of thought behind it. Each line is very strong and it has a very fluid rhythm. Nice work. I like the picture you picked for it as well.

[Abd-afeez]

Short but so beautiful its so smooth and totally packed with powerful lines. Imagery stood within at its peak. Excellent one keep it up.

[Rachel 6sixtrümper]

wow, this is amazing.... i wish i could write lyrical poems as amazing as this! this is truly magnificent in the imagery, its like you create a canvas out of a mind. keep up the good work :)

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

this reads like a song lyric.. i love the pacing and the flow of the words when you say them aloud.

wonderfully done!

[Jessica Noel]

I really like this, its very to the point, not a lot of description but enough to give the outline.

Very, very good descriptions.