Surreptitious

Inspired by Michael LaSalle's 'Mysterious Desire'. Perhaps of a different theme, but inspired by it, none the less.

Surreptitious

 

 

Do not tease

Do not follow me with such surreptitious desire

Be open, and give yourself wholly unto me

 

My flesh aches to know what darkness clouds your eyes

When you think of me

So, you must not tease

 

Do stars not burn?

Do hearts not yearn?

Let us

 

Let us feel impending heights

Then, let us crash

Into one... smoldering... heap

 

 

4/28/2008

Reviews

[Shell]

That's hot. Aflame with desire. Can I get some ice water please? lol
The flesh aches, and the blood burns right along with those stars.

I love the ending.
..."one... smoldering... heap."

Very simple yet effective. Your point was driven home in as few words as possible. Which mirrors that particular moment, wouldn't you say? The last thing you want to do is talk!

[Melissia Ann]

THis is very beautiful and awesome my friend thanks for sharing with me Melissia Ann

[Rhiannon Dragonraine]

Well this is definitely senusual and intriguing. I really like the flow of the piece and ti makes me think honestly of a person well to put it quite honestly on the prowl. I really like the way you were inspired by someone else's work and created something with a completely different flavor Wonderful job.

[veronica09]

I LOVE THIS..LOL, it is very nice.
your words are free and express
true desire. thank you for sharing it with me.

sincerely,
che-che

[Michael X]

absolutely lovely desire, Now this is Poetry that captures the heart as well as ones mind and soul!
yearning is at the forefront and you build your images full skilled, and crafted to absolute wanting bliss
i see not one flaw in this writing which is really unusual, its PERFECTED, the reader can
full see that you took time to sculpt this into its masterful vision, leaves me breathless..

Let us feel impending heights
Then, let us crash
Into one... smoldering... heap

magnificently imagined, to see the night sky reflecting in your gentle words, love it,
i really appreciate it, and any poem would be the lucky one to inspire such a
gorgeous projection, the form is brilliantly well written and encapsulates your thoughts fully,
thanks for sharing such, and for the kind regards, the vision is choice, details are pure dreamy.

[tina]

very beautiful- thank you- your muse must be very lucky- A~

[Valorie J. Shearer]

Do not follow me with such surreptitious desire >>> How many relationships are built on furtive, or secretive foundations! Michael, this is a great write. Thank you for sharing this with me; I feel honored! I know, corny huh? LOL ! ! Take care~~~
/

[Jamie]

Wow, that's hot. Awesome work.

[Nely Amorim]

a refreshingly unique write! it has some very sensual intonations but stays real. I like it alot :D

[Amber Watson]

Love Love Love this poem. It is a great piece of work. I really enjoyed reading this. Every line was a great one. Thanks so much:)

[ah]

very great write, thanx for sharing it with us, keep it up