Surreptitious

Inspired by Michael LaSalle's 'Mysterious Desire'. Perhaps of a different theme, but inspired by it, none the less.

Surreptitious

 

 

Do not tease

Do not follow me with such surreptitious desire

Be open, and give yourself wholly unto me

 

My flesh aches to know what darkness clouds your eyes

When you think of me

So, you must not tease

 

Do stars not burn?

Do hearts not yearn?

Let us

 

Let us feel impending heights

Then, let us crash

Into one... smoldering... heap

 

 

4/28/2008

Reviews

[Shell]

That's hot. Aflame with desire. Can I get some ice water please? lol
The flesh aches, and the blood burns right along with those stars.

I love the ending.
..."one... smoldering... heap."

Very simple yet effective. Your point was driven home in as few words as possible. Which mirrors that particular moment, wouldn't you say? The last thing you want to do is talk!

[tina edwards]

Mike
Very beautiful write about a longing for a love that is just out of touch

[chris' girlfriend]

a beautiful poem :)
i love the 4th line down.

wow, that's pretty deep intense passion, and to be quite honest anyone who uses the word "serreptitious" in a good context gets my vote- such a hot word!
it's strange because of the build up at the end the way it builds up to "smouldering" but ends in "heap" I like the contrast though, it works as far as I'm concerned :) Sometimes simple and effective is the better way! :) xx

[Carrie Montgomery]

short and simple, but not lacking at all...right to the point with this one. Very exciting and full of emotion. I am glad your "inspiration" pointed this one out to me. Great job.

[angelina neves]

Lovely and sensual! And like any star we must burn to shine bighter! Beautiful!

[The Outlaws' Song]

This really is mysterious!! I really enjoyed it...it's unique and special...different...clad up into an aura of mystery.Great!!! Many kudos...And i must agree with Mizmetaphysicallady - "Do stars not burn?
Do hearts not yearn?" are the best two lines in the poem.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Do stars not burn?
Do hearts not yearn?
Best two lines in the poem. Yhe whole poem is well written, it's a bit abstract, which works because Surreptitious abstract, sneaky. Good work.

[krisssssy]

Sensual! Hot! I love it! what more can be said it is perfect.....
Thank you Luv and Peace always, krisssssy

[desertraven]

beautiful piece! I love it! One of the most perfect poems!
Great job!
Sandra

[free2bee]

Wow, this poem deftly puts into words desire yearning to be expressed. Nicely done. Thanks for writing.