Surreptitious

Inspired by Michael LaSalle's 'Mysterious Desire'. Perhaps of a different theme, but inspired by it, none the less.

Surreptitious

 

 

Do not tease

Do not follow me with such surreptitious desire

Be open, and give yourself wholly unto me

 

My flesh aches to know what darkness clouds your eyes

When you think of me

So, you must not tease

 

Do stars not burn?

Do hearts not yearn?

Let us

 

Let us feel impending heights

Then, let us crash

Into one... smoldering... heap

 

 

4/28/2008

Reviews

[Shell]

That's hot. Aflame with desire. Can I get some ice water please? lol
The flesh aches, and the blood burns right along with those stars.

I love the ending.
..."one... smoldering... heap."

Very simple yet effective. Your point was driven home in as few words as possible. Which mirrors that particular moment, wouldn't you say? The last thing you want to do is talk!

[Eve]

very smokey, I like the sentiments, sounds like a bonfire.

[LostCauze[:P]]

Short, Sweet and Amazing. So much detail with little words that give so much impact to your poem. Great Write...

[badgirl beth]

yeap Michae'l sent me here and I'm quite taken back by the incredible words penned...I wonder where you found the intensity to write such thunderous words as these..I fee the depths of emotions from which they have come forward are strong and passion filled....was this write and easy one. did the words come quick from the heart or from thought of what if.can you tell if you had to drag them out from the bowels of your insides to make such a perfect show....I wonder these things about other writers some times...as once in a while I must fight with the words to bring them to revelence....as insanity overwhelms my quilll....I fall into the spell....bravo

[Christopher S. Jacobs]

This is very good! Very sensual and soothing...

[Jennifer]

I like this. Good job!

[Christopher 'Windstorm'..]

wow that is my first thought on this work...

the fusing of great words with awsome imagry give this poem excellent tone and the flow is like when a person makes love passionate, strong and leaves you pleasureed and lathargic at the end. i also looked up the word...Surreptitious... because i had not heard of it before. well it fits well. i not sure i can give constuctive thoughts on how to make it better because it is angelic and beautiful just the way it is.

awsome read.

BB
WINDSTORM

[Tina Kline]

Micheal LaSalle recommended your poem to me. To me, its a very mysterious poem, almost like a love poem. One person wanting, yearning, needing to connect with another. That comes through very strongly in the poem. Reaching, reaching and hopeing. It has very strong emotions of wanting and desiring in it. Very good poem, I like it alot. I'm glad it was metioned to me.


Tina

[V. K. Harris]

Very romantic, it pounds thy heart to read. Excellent

[badgirl beth]

Dang....this rocks dude..totally love it...thanks..for you!!!!

[Kat_apult]

RogueD.,
A very apt interpretation of Mike's poem! It's amazing how one poet's work can affect our minds and touch our souls all through the power of words. You have transported the reader to new heights with the images you paint in this poem. Your word selection is powerful in its simplicity and builds the reader's reaction up until the end...which is brilliant! In my opinion, too many poets try for over-use of descriptive words and images that make their poems chaotic and hard to understand, but you have shown that it's often the least which have the most meaning! Wonderful...wonderful! :)