Aftermath

Emerson Dale has just been raped...

I never knew exactly why I felt the way I felt. My heart would stop and my eyes would blank out into darkness. My body would die out, leaving only my soul and a fierce numbness would find its way to my legs. The feeling I was having, was so unbearable, so insufferable, and so unspeakable that I was sick to my stomach. But at the same time these feelings were so seductive and so beautiful, that I couldn’t resist. I suddenly became addicted, captivated, and trapped in something I never thought I'd endure. I knew I couldn’t keep this going but, I couldn’t for  the life of me, imagine my life without it. My obsession was too dangerous, too risky and too brutal. It was sick, twisted, and disgusting. But yet so beautiful and so mesmerizing.

 

            There isn't much I can say really. The things rushing through my head, prevented me from making any type of movement. I was high on confusion, lost in frustration, & once again, drowning in my own humiliation. I don't know what to do, or what to say, or what exactly  I'm supposed to feel for that matter. I don't even know how to react or how to respond. I just knew that this wasn't real, it couldn't be.

 

Despite the aching pain in my body, I rushed over to my bookshelf, throwing everything down except the dictionary.

 

 

 

“Rant, rap, rapacious-”

 

I stopped, placing my finger on the word I was looking for.

 

Rape [rayp]

n (plural rapes)

Forcing of somebody into sex: the crime of using force to have sexual intercourse with somebody; type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person’s consent.

 

            I sat there for a moment, trying to gather what was left of my thoughts. I hated myself for thinking that looking up the word rape would help me better understand, because it didn’t. It only made things entirely worse. The only reason why I even looked up the stupid word was because I wasn’t sure if what just happened was actually rape. I mean, all the signs were there, random guy in a mask attacking me in my own house, forcing himself on me against my will, but for some strange reason there was something different about this. Generally when people get raped, they're traumatized for the rest of their lives, finding it extremely difficult to trust anyone. They sometimes limit the amount of people they associate themselves with, and even go to the extremes of discontinuing their social life, but for me, it was different. I wasn’t sure what just happened could be clearly identified as rape because I kind of, maybe, think, I might have liked it. Now I know I sound sadistic and crazy saying that I enjoyed being raped, but for some reason I did. Now here’s my question: was it still considered rape or was it just kinky unbeknownst sex? Did he still commit a crime or did he do me a favor? Could it have been a wake-up call? I shuttered in horror after realizing what I’ve been thinking, my mind went into a whirlwind of confusion causing a massive pain to find its way to my head. Why did this happen to me? Who would do this to me? My head scanned for any possible suspect out of all the people that I knew, but I was so overwhelmed with my thoughts, that I couldn’t even think of one person. In my head I told myself, this didn’t happen, but my body wouldn’t agree. It ached; feeling like it was about to just collapse but at the same time it felt so fresh and brand new, as if I was just born. I felt good. I can admit, I was kind of upset that I lost my virginity to some random stranger, but strangely enough, I can also admit, it was without a doubt the best time of my life.

 

 

A Month Earlier.

 

 

 

 

           

           

           

           

 

My name is Emerson. My friends call me Em, or Emmy. Honestly I prefer my full name, but people find it acceptable to shorten it. I’ve been openly gay for about 2 months now, and I can honestly say, it's been great having that weight lifted off my shoulders. It's the best feeling in the world not having to sneak and steal my mom's hair removal cream or deepen my voice whenever I was around people. I no longer have to hide who I am or worry about anyone finding out anymore, except of course when we have annoying get-togethers with our family. My parents asked me to keep it quiet until I was much older. I knew they were only concerned of what our family would think of them, due to the fact that their "perfect" son was a raging homosexual, especially with my mother’s side being extremely religious. My lifestyle was a shaky topic in our household, because whenever clearly addressed it. In my mom’s world, I was just confused so she’d try to set me up with the daughters of her friends at church, believing it would put on the straight bus. I didn’t pay it any mind; I just went along with it, I guess I kind of owe her that due to the fact that I didn't exactly sit my parents down and discuss with them my interest in boys, they kind of found out for themselves, in an odd, unexpected way.

 

            It was in the summer, just two days shy of Independence Day, that I visited my grandmother Lily-Anna in West Virginia. My grandma wasn’t your average grandma. She was 65, but her body screamed 23 and her libido screamed 17. She was the epitome of a cub hungry cougar. She’d bring in new guys every other night, forcing me to move in to the guest house. At first I was bit skeptical staying in that big house all alone but I told myself I’d rather be alone and scared for my life for an entire summer than hear some random guy pounding the s**t out of my grandmother. While I was attempting to take out the trash, I ran into a sweaty, shirtless Daniel Wilson. Well I didn’t exactly run into him, I kind of met his eyes with mine and shot him an awkward crooked smile. Daniel lived next door to my grandma and I’d always catch him jogging past the house, shirtless with his bouncing brown hair. He was no more than a foot taller than me and let me tell you, he was HOT! He was my motivation to wake up early every morning so I can take out the trash while catching a glimpse of his hot abs as he ran pass. There was never any trash when I took out, I’m positive the dumpsters are full of clean empty garbage bags.

 

One day Daniel and I finally ran into each other, when he saw me struggling to build a table set that my grandma asked me to put together for her patio. (I honestly don’t know why the hell my grandma would give me a table set, she’s basically asking for a hot mess.)He came over after one of his infamous morning jogs, all sweaty and shirtless.

 

            “Having fun?” he joked, taking his earphones out of his ear.

            “Yeah, so much fun" I said dryly

            “Let me help you”

            “Be my guest”

He walked over and took the hammer out of my hand, since I was clearly using it wrong.

 

            Daniel did all the work and I literally just sat there, gazing at the beautiful sight. His hot abs was all wet from perspiration sliding down to his navel. I couldn't contain myself; I started to stare at him like he was a juicy, medium cooked steak, and I was the hungry German shepherd that would do just about anything for a taste. It was as if my tongue was too afraid to go back into my mouth, because it just stayed on the corner of my mouth. I bit my lip and my knees weakened a bit causing a mild shake. I didn't know exactly what was going on because it was all happening so incredibly fast. I quickly snapped myself out of it but I came to the embarrassing realization that Daniel was done with the table for quite a while which meant he witnessed my dirty dog situation.

 

"ummm are you okay?"he asked me, looking at my feet.

 

"y-yeah I’m o-okay" I stuttered, but I instantly wished I hadn’t said those words after noticing that I didn’t entirely snap myself out of my horny phase. It wasn't my feet that Daniel was looking at. I was beyond embarrassed, I couldn't think. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. Daniel looked at me for a while, expressionless. I couldn’t tell if he was mad, disgusted, or sick. Reading him was utterly impossible, but he made it clear that I didn't need to once he planted his lips onto mine. For a split second I was in complete utter shock and I just stood there like a statue, not kissing back, but his lips starting making a conversation with mine, a conversation that I sure as hell didn’t want to end.

 

            We went up to my grandma’s bedroom, ripping off every shed of clothing, our lips all over each other's faces. He pushed me up against the bed, kissing me, and then he rolled me over, so I could be on top. I reached for what I thought was his belt buckle but before I could he stopped me.

 

"Wait I can't...”

 

"Why? Did I do something wrong?"I asked.

 

"No no, it's just....."he choked a bit on his words as if he was embarrassed.

 

"What is it?"I asked.

 

"I'm a virgin." he said in shame, "I'm not ready to-"

 

I paused showing no emotion.

 

This guy f*****g stick his tongue down my throat & rips off my H&M t-shirt and he’s a virgin?

 

"Oh...I understand" I lied. I began to pick up my clothes, feeling like a rejected, desperate s**t, but he stopped me.

 

"Wait! There’s one thing we could do...”

 

Daniel unbuckled his pants and pulled them all the way down to his ankles and looked down.

 

            My eyes grew as wide. I never done such a thing like this before and I sure as hell wasn't comfortable with it, but I couldn't say no. He was too beautiful, I couldn’t pass this up.

 

            “Umm I have to pee” I said in a hurry to get out.

            I rushed over to the bathroom, shutting the door slowly. I breathed in and out, pacing back and forth, shaking.

 

            “Emerson Ashton Dale, you can do this” I said to myself in the mirror. “You can do this”

My stomach started hurting, causing me to shake more. I sat down on the floor and curled up into ball rocking back and forth.

 

“You alright in there Ethan?”

 

            Ethan? Oh my god, I'm about to give a blowjob to a guy who doesn’t even know my f*****g name.

 

“Coming!” I screamed.

 

I got up from the floor and splashed my face with Luke-warm water.

“You can do this Emerson, you can do this”

 

I slowly walked back in the room, to a fully nude Daniel. When I got to the bed he kissed me and lowered my head down. When I got down there, I couldn't believe my eyes. It literally looked like a football and I’m not talking about one of those little Nerf footballs, I talking full professional pig skin football! I couldn’t believe he thought I could actually put that anywhere, but this was the first guy I've ever been with and from the looks my life there wouldn't be many, so I put all my doubt and fears in a Gucci bag and threw it out the window. As I went down on him, it felt like I was eating a foot long sub in one bite, except I couldn't chew it. I felt weird and gross, but by the way he was talking, I must've been doing a hell of a job.

 

"More...” he moaned, pushing my head down further.

 

 I was reluctant to keep going and was about to stop, but he had a lock hold on my head. He pushed and pushed it down and I tried to get off it, but he was stronger than me, and the more I tried to get off his grip the better it felt for him. I screamed for him to stop, but it was no use because he was screaming too. He forced my head down and I finally reached my breaking point and I choked. My lungs froze, my heart stopped and from that point, I dropped to the floor head first, making everything go black.

 

            About three hours later, I woke up in the hospital with all kinds of needles in my arm and my mouth hurt every time I moved it. My throat was burning, as if I swallowed a bowling ball that was on fire. From my bed I could see the waiting room across the hall through the glass window. I saw Daniel looking down in fear; I even thought I saw tears. I also saw my grandma with one of her boys of course, and then just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I saw my parents. As I they walked in all I could think of was what I was I going to say to them.

 "Oh hey mom & dad I choked on a dick the size of my leg, how's your summer been?"

 

They came in quietly;

 

“Emerson Dear?” My mom called, slowly walking in.

 

My throat made it pretty clear I wasn’t allowed to speak, so I kept quiet.

 

“Babs, his entire upper body is numb, I don’t think he can talk” My dad said

 

My mother walked over to me in her red, church dress. She leaned over to my left side, rubbing her palm over my head and caressing my face.

 

"Honey you need to be more careful next time"

 

“Huh?"I mumbled, throat still sore. They began bursting out laughing.

 

"Son, you got to admit that's pretty funny and a little odd” My dad chuckled. I was confused on how okay they were with this. Their 15 year old son giving blow jobs was funny, some parenting.

 

"You guys aren't mad?" I asked

 

"What were you thinking?"they laughed hysterically, my dad nearly fell on the floor dying of laughter. I can admit their reaction was weird, but it saved me the humiliation and an awkward car ride home.

 

“Why would you put that in your mouth in the first place?” My mom asked, barely keeping herself from cracking up.

 

“I don’t know, he asked me too and I didn’t-”

 

My parents weren’t listening to a word I said, they just kept laughing.

 

"Oh well ok then, as much as I’m freaked out by how you're so okay with this, can you guys not tell anyone please? I don't want everyone back home to know I choked while giving a blowjob"

 

Suddenly, their laughter stopped.

The room froze and no movement whatsoever was made. My parents’ smile turned into a cold, eye popping, sign of shock. My mother jerked back in disgust holding her heart.

 

"You did what!"my parents screamed, "that Daniel boy told us tried swallowing a golf ball"

I really wish Daniel would have filled me in on that little detail since it kind of would've helped out a lot. I could tell it was something he just thought of at the top of his head.

 

The doctor rushed in, interrupting anymore questions from my parents.

 

“Good news is your free to go home today kid, bad news is you won’t be able to eat or drink for about a week or so. That golf ball you choked on must have been really big, because no normal size golf ball could do this type of damage. Are you sure it was a golf ball?”

 

My dad’s jaw fell to the floor and my mom fainted.

 

 

           

            When we got home later that evening, my mother was angry for two reasons. One because her only son was gay and two she couldn’t for the life of her find a cure for stretched out throat and a lock-jaw.

 

 

Reviews

[MikiMoore]

Great writing! Can't wait for more!