Cold Eyes

No longer the person I once knew

Lost but still
Crying for change but always smiling in the place you hate

Pleasure outweighs the guilt

Dying little by little when looking in those eyes
Searching for a hint of the one I once was

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: (Pleasure out weighs the guilt) outweighs

Review: With growth comes change, sadly that growth sometimes is in a different direction, so growing up can also mean growing apart. Your poem does a good job of highlighting the reality of this situation. Bravo! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Ellen Kolman]

Wow! it is like you are looking into my soul...how is this possible? this is exactly where I am at right now...beautifully written poem....you know how to communicate depth of feeling in few words....bravo

[barleygirl]

It seems this narrator is first discovering that we can never go back to the way things were. Life is constantly evolving & sometimes it feels crummy when we find how this has changed us. A very short poem that stimulates much pondering. Good job!

[Richard Patrick]

the past is once was, but as you see this person, look at the caterpillar in the cacoon, once it sheds its concealment. It will rise and fly into the clear blue sky, why because it is free. Shed the garments of the past, set yourself free to journey to an new world. Where you can be who you truly are. Not the person who has maybe failed, but who has shaken the chains of the past free from your wrists and legs. Look at who you are, who you were when you were born, the dreams not realized. Can still be achieved, by you if you believe you can, Who is stopping you? Shake the past from your wings and fly into the clear blue sky.
Why because you are the only you on this earth,

[Érenn]

Reflection or is it something else as well ? A wonderful poem which can be interpreted in two ways i guess. I will take the reflection though, because i feel closer to that myself. Short yet powerful. I enjoyed it.

[.]

A nicely written short poem on inner reflection and the loss of one's sense of self.
Good Job, Gregory.

[Chidoriflower]

It sounds like a reflection, an observation, or something more? I liked this but I wish it was a little bit longer. The concept is nice and I liked it. Thank you for sharing :)

[Lalochezia]

Before I read the other reviews I die not imagine two people, only myself, looking into a mirror. We smile too much in the places we hate and die a little more each day.

Then I read the other reviews but decided I liked my interpretation better :)
That's the beauty of your poem, however, that it can be interpreted in two ways.

Out of curiosity, what was YOUR intention?

[Gregory Lara]

Yup you pretty much hit the nail on the head! I had the idea of looking into my own eyes while writing but I'm glad it can be seen in two perspectives. Thank you!

[Lalochezia]

I'm glad :)
Isn't it ironic how we all fake it and believe ourselves alone with our struggles? :/

[Elise Anton]

Call me strange but I saw too people in this beautifully crafted piece. I read it from both perspectives and it worked for me. I felt you describing you, but I also felt you describing the other person... Like the other person is no longer the person you once knew. Not sure if it was intended or if indeed I am strange but I loved that I could do this!

[Gregory Lara]

Thank you!

[Solar]

/Dying little by little when looking in those eyes
Searching for the hint of the one I once was/

...lines that capture the loss of self[worth] which is sought in another's loveless eyes.
I like how much you have conveyed in this short and sharp poem!

[Gregory Lara]

Thank you!