The Light Behind my Eyes

Before death, a realization of what should have been done in life.

Behind my eyes,

there lies a vague shimmer.

Vibrant and beautiful,

yet softly fades dimmer.

 

Screams from my dying spirit.

Approaching the world above.

Though drawing closer to it,

still nothing, no love.

 

Once you were mine,

but our love has divided.

Stand alone in the cold,

leaving me blindsided.

Of the love and the virtue

that was passed down to me.

And if used,

how different my life was to be.

Reviews

[serpent]

a simple and to the point write...and inspiring in all the right ways...i truly believe in choices i make and no matter if they live upto my expectation or not...i dont regret no s**t! you have penned something that i have always believed..
thanks for sharing!

[Alexander Loux]

Simple and elegant. The poem speaks of truth and an interesting concept. For me it seemed to be talking about what could have been. Everything was beautiful. The only thing I can suggest is adding periods. I feel like a broken record, but periods add a finish to lines. They separate points. I'm not sure if this would flow as nicely with them, but it'd satisfy my grammar Nazi mind. Either way, great job!

[Crow]

I love the dark undertones of love and loss found in a deeply caring soul.

[Rendawg]

beautifuly writtin i cant decide which verse i love more its all wonderfully writtin

[Jim Parson]

Thank you for this advice. I will start living my life without regrets right...now! Beautiful said, oh green one.

[E.H. Monroe]

The use it or lose it rule applied to love of life.

No kidding. Simple but to the point

[Moflo]

This was really a very profound work. I felt a lot of emotion coming from this poem and I can definitely relate. I like the end, how you focus on what could have been. Great job.

[Siddhartha]

An extremely poignant piece of work...The pessimism is here is contagious and though normally it isn't a good thing but in this case it is...