Love Decays

This is a SONG I wrote after someone broke up with me.

Lay With Me, My Baby,
Lay With Me Tonight...
Cry For Me, My Darling
Tears Of Pain Tonight

You Said That You Will Love Me.
You Said That I Am Wrong. (I'm Wrong)
Though Love Has Always Deceived Me,
I Thought That Ours Was Right.

You Cast A Curse Upon Me,
My Love Will Always Die. (It Died)
My Heart Cant Take All This Torture,
Still Come To Me Tonight.

The Rose Petals Have Fallen,
They Died Under The Sun.
The Wind Blew Them Away,
Yet Grow Again They Will.

Lay With Me, My Baby,
Lay With Me Tonight...
Cry For Me, My Darling
Tears Of Pain Tonight

Now That You Are Gone,
My Heart Remains Unfull. (Not Full)
But Love Will Come Again,
Don't Let Hurt Change You.

Though I Want You To Leave,
I Cant Bare The Thought.
Your Soul Escapes My Body,
So Now We Are Apart.

Good-bye To All Our Dreams,
Good-bye To All I Knew.
Fair well To All I Believed In,
For Now It Is Untrue.

Stay Away, My Baby,
Stay Away Tonight...
Cry For Me, My Darling
Your Tears Of Pain Tonight

Reviews

[Thomas Roarty]

I like this. It has an exellent flow and is structurally sound. :)
I particularly like the repitition of the "Lay with me, my baby" stanzas, which contributes well to the change withtin the final stanza.

I also picked up on the progression of this piece. From the devastation of (the breakup, I assume) first happened, to the acceptance and moving on :)
Bravo!

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice flow of thoughts in the poem. I could feel the music in your words. Hard to write song. You did very well. I felt the desire and emotion in the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kyle]

Sounds amazingly painful. I like the way this one flowed.

[Seshat Nidaba]

There is something classic and sweet in this, like a ballad or a lullabye.

[reminder]

Wonderful transformation of feelings. Strength was found as the piece went on! Well done!