Engulfed In Flames

Written 4/24/15 Written with a bit of help from moonskittles and sereenaoutloud. Btw MS suggested I post both. :P

Option A - With sereenaoutloud's help.

Flaming heart

Devour me whole

From the inside out

Incinerate

The scar tissue

Left behind

By the last

Volcanic heart

That scorched

My insides

Engulf me

In the flames

That surround you

Eagerly I wait

To be consumed

By you

And brought to ashes

[End]

Option B - With moonskittles' help.

Heart on fire
Devour me whole
From the inside
Out.
Torch away
The scar tissue
Left behind
By the last
Flaring fervor
That scorched
My insides.
Engulf me
In the flames
That surround you.
Eagerly I wait
To be thoroughly
consumed.

[End]

Author's Note

Couldn't decide which one I liked better, so went with the suggestion and posted both. :P
Thanks MS and Sereena! Your help is much appreciated!

[Write was inspired by the these two pictures, just an fyi]

Reviews

[jeannemarie coulter]

much enjoyed both so am glad you presented both...

[GreenEyedPoet]

Glad you liked them Jeannemarie! :D
Thanks for stopping by and checking them out!

[....................]

a great window into the creative mind, exploring slightly different ways to describe the burning desires of the heart... these are great pieces and match the art work well :)

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thanks FT! :]

[....................]

my pleasure, Ashley :)

[Vishuddha]

I like Flaming, Incinerate and Volcanic. They are all vibrant words and add to the poetic atmosphere. Pretty torturous poem. "My inside" should read "my insides" however in both instances.

[GreenEyedPoet]

You are correct, thanks for catching that error!
Thanks for checking out my poem Vishuddha! :D

[Lyric]

I think both are wonderful :-)

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thanks Lyric. :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yeah, i'm a lovin this write. Would like to add something to the meaning of fire. Fire can be used as a symbol of purification...and mostly it is... or as to demonstrate great power, some force eatin or better said burning away something. Let that something be sin, or problems, or fear, etc etc. Anyhow, both versions are very well done. I'm rating this 100# and adding to my favorites. Keep it comin.

[GreenEyedPoet]

You have the same idea as some other people who read these pieces - about the fire being a symbol of purification, which is pretty cool!
Glad you enjoyed what you read, thanks for checking these out! :D

[ANTO]

In my opinion both versions have merit. Option A is stronger opener - option B a better finisher.
They are neck and neck in the body of both poems in terms of imagery and impact. You did right posting both. A draw.
Fire is the ultimate symbol of purification and this uses it to the max. Great writing G.E.P

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thanks ANTO! :D
Glad MS gave me the idea to post both.

[ANTO]

she's a smart cookie that one ;))

[GreenEyedPoet]

Indeed she is. :)

[ANTO]

all three of you are... :)

[GreenEyedPoet]

Aw thanks ANTO! :D

[Misery]

How does one choose between apples and oranges? Or tangerines and tangelos?
Thankfully, no choice is necessary. I love them both. Both reveal past wounds, both hope for present healing, and both wait to be one with another soul.
Excellent inspiration and interaction between poets.

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thank you! Glad you could take a moment to stop by to read and comment and that you enjoyed both of them. :D

[Misery]

You are welcome.

[Winslow Des Totes]

I liked the flow of the second one better. The way it was broken up made for well executed breaks and pauses. Also less repetition in the second one and more to the core of the emotions. Well done.

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thanks for checking them out Winslow!
Glad you liked the second one. :)

[Winslow Des Totes]

Any time green eyes :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

They both express the feeling of someone desperate to find and feel love, Someone willing to give who hurts from past experience. Option A flows for me as I like 'Incinerate' and 'Volcanic heart'

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thanks for checking it out John!
Haha no desperation here though, least that's not what I intended to convoy. Just a desire. :)

[Perkele.7885]

I refuse to choose one for you. I like both poems and both women. I need them to review my poems.

[sereenaoutloud]

LOL Perkele so sweet and too funny!! :))

[GreenEyedPoet]

It's ok, no one wants to choose lol. And I can't blame 'em!
Haha they only got to see this one because I wanted advice, I hardly ever ask for advice on my pieces.

Thanks for stopping by Perkele! And glad you liked the poems. :]

[Perkele.7885]

I will always be around for advice to give, to ask of you or to say gd'day!

[GreenEyedPoet]

Awesome! :D