My Escape

Written 2/4/06 Was written when I was having a hard time with my depression. Just wanting to escape it all.

I've escaped the allurement of death
More then once
Being subservient to the thoughts
And obsession of suicide
My mind playing
Only devious and pestilential thoughts
-
Feeling the need to succumb
Beseeching God
To take all this anguish away
Almost complying to thr thoughts
Of giving in
But feeling the infirmities
Of all the love that surrounds me
I gave in and found help
Within many people who only cared
-
I escaped
The inundated feeling of stress and pain
Big amounts of consternation
Came with trying to escape all of this
Feeling wretched all the time
Only to escape to a more eternal peace
-
Being arbitrated
By to many people
Many trying to empower this escape of mine
Only making me run away more
Wishing me to be immaculate again
I only tried to escape
My life and so much more
(End)

Reviews

[Jamestown]

Have felt these same emotions you speak of here and am so blessed to have
a God that is always here when I need him, PTL! Isaiah 41:10 comes to mind!!!

[GreenEyedPoet]

I wish when I wrote this that I had known God as well as I thought I did, but back then I didn't. Everything just kind of fell apart over the years after this was written and at one point I even hated God.
It is actually only last March that I came back to Him, thankfully because He worked through my best friend who spent many months convincing me to seek Him out.

[Jamestown]

I totally understand, you and I sound a lot alike. I was not a positive person to say
the least, only by the grace of our king have I been completely transformed, PTL!

[GreenEyedPoet]

I can't speak for you, of course, but I was the way I was because of way to many bad experiences I had growing up. I'll have to message you sometime and we can talk about that.

[Jamestown]

Please do, you can contact me anytime, I'm in sales so I can certainly talk, lol!