Unreal Remembrance

A Story by GreenEyedGal

Sometimes what you remember isn't necessarily what happened.

In a blurry haze, I could hear voices, people speaking in and out. I could hear a few words, echoed and distant. Trying harder though, I managed to hear a sentence come out clearly.

“Don’t worry Miss, just relax. This is a routine procedure.”

And everything went black.

Ugh, why do alarm clocks exist? No really, why are they a thing? And don’t come to me with nonsense like, oh you have to wake up early, you have to be more productive, blah blah blah. Why do we need to wake up at 7 AM, rather than the much more reasonable time of 9, or 10, or 11, or maybe even noon. Oh yeah… school…

You know what, I’ll just come out and say it: school freakin’ sucks. Like mondo suckage. They just cram you into a building all day, force-feeding you information until your brain explodes into mush, and once it’s sufficiently mushed enough, they have you take tests to see if any bits of brain matter still work. Okay, I might be exaggerating, but you definitely know what I said is partially true. School is just 90% suckage. The rest of the 10% is a mixed bag. It depends on what you make of it. It’s your social life, of course. And it can be the worst thing you’ll ever experience in your life, or the best.

Luckily for me, I was, well, lucky. High school was pretty okay to me. I already met a few girls I clicked with. People I can consider my best friends in the world. I know whatever happens, I’ll always have Mary, Stacy, and, of course, Chloe watching my back. And on my way to school, I was joined by Chloe as I usually do. We’re the only ones in our group living close enough to the school that we can just walk there, or in our case ride our bikes. But for some reason, today, I found her walking. So, I pulled up right beside her and started walking with her.

“Heya Chlo.” I greeted her.

“Oh, hey Maxy.” She replied looking at me, but then looking down at the ground again immediately afterwards.

And that was our greetings. After that was awkward, awkward silence. So seeing as she’s looking a bit a bit glum, I tried to coax more out of her.

“So... umm… how are you today?” Frick, who says things like that? Couldn’t I have said it in a more casual way?

“I’m fine.” She answered frankly.

Okay, I guess she doesn’t want to talk about it. But asking again won’t hurt right? Probably?

“Really? Are you sure, nothing’s bothering you?” I said in the sweetest, kindest voice I can muster (which is hard for me, but anything for Chlo).

And then suddenly she gets mad, which I admit, may be mostly my fault. Okay definitely my fault.

“Ugh, can you just leave me alone right now?” She said as she stormed off ahead of me.

I couldn’t follow her. She seemed like she needed the space, so I let her. So I just slowly made my way to school.

School went mostly as it always did. Lessons upon lessons, tests upon tests. Not once letting up. I met with Mary and Stacy as I always did. But Chloe was nowhere to be found. When I saw her here and there, she always disappears before I can come close. I knew she was having trouble with something, and I wanted to help. But if she wants to be alone right now, she has the right to. It hurts that I can’t do anything to help, but I’ll be here when she needs me. I know that, and I’m sure she knows that as well.

So, I just tried my best to act as if nothing was wrong. Mary and Stacy, ever the gossips, were curious about Chloe, but I just made a quick excuse to steer the conversation away from her, and they quickly moved on to who’s with who this week. I tried to do some tests, which, thankfully enough, I still barely passed. And all in all, it went okay.

Then when I was about to go home, I saw a note in my locker. It read:

“Maxy. Meet me after school. I’ll be by the old tree in the courtyard. Chloe.”

I rushed over there as fast as I could, and there she was, Chloe sitting on the mangled roots of the old tree.

I approached her cautiously, “Heya Chlo.”

She looked at me with red, teary eyes. “Oh, hey Maxy.”

“So… uh… you doing okay?” I asked awkwardly as I sat down beside her.

“If crying here under a stupid, old tree is the definition of okay, then yes.” She sniped lightheartedly.

“Okay, you got me there. So what’s wrong Chlo? Is this about school?”

“God, I wish,” she laughingly replied, “I could handle a few failed grades.”

“Then is it a relationship or something? A crush?”

She looked away as she replied, “You could say that.”

“Did a boy you like reject you again?”

“Not even close,” she smiled wide enough that you could forget she was crying just before. But she loses her smile just as quickly, “Can I say something… kinda weird?”

“Of course, Chloe. I mean look at me, I’m plenty weird enough.”

“True, true. But you have to promise me that you won’t treat me any different, okay?”

“I wouldn’t even dream of it.”

“Okay then, I’ll just say it outright,” she takes a deep breath, “I think I like girls.”

“That’s a revelation then.”

“So you’re okay with it?” She asked sheepishly. Not gonna lie, this is the first time I heard her like this.

“Of course I am. Like, what would change between us if you like girls?”

“We would have to break up. I’m sorry Max, but, I don’t think I like you… that way, anymore.”

“Break up? What do you mean by break up?” I asked, confused. Did she mean not be best friends anymore? Why would her liking girls mean we can’t be friends?

“I mean, we can’t be a couple anymore. I like girls now… and you’re… well… a guy.”

A guy, what did she mean by a guy? I’ve been a girl my whole life… Have I? Wait… I can’t remember anything… What? Why can’t I remember my own past? I’m a girl, right? RIGHT?!

And a splitting headache hits me that causes me to double over in pain.

“Max, are you alright?” I could hear Chloe say in between the throbbing in my brain.

“Just… just… leave me alone” I managed to say.

And everything went black.

I slowly came to. I was in a hospital bed. I could hear the faint beeping of the heart monitor. I felt weak and tired. I could barely move my fingers, let alone the rest of my body. Suddenly a nurse came up to me to check on me.

“Where the hell am I?” I managed to squeak out despite my weariness.

The nurse answered comfortingly, “You’re in recovery Miss Laurens. You had a bad reaction to the Memotech, so we had to get you stable.”

“Memotech?”

“Just give it a few minutes, hun. Momentary amnesia is one of the side-effects of the use of Memotech. But you’ll get your memories back in just a bit.”

And just as she said so, another splitting headache hit me. I remembered why I was here. I wanted to change my memories. I wanted to feel as if I’ve always been… me. And I knew that there could be some bad side-effects. But I couldn’t live with the discrepancy anymore.

“Ah, well it seems you got them back,” the nurse said as chipper as ever, “headaches are another side-effect, sorry. I guess I’ll just have to inform the doctor that you’re awake then. Just try to rest up, m’kay?”

“Sure.”

“Oh, and I know I’m not supposed to do this, but I couldn’t help but pry into your memories a bit when we were stabilizing you. And I just have to ask. Who’s Chloe?”

“She was my girlfriend during high school. She left when she figured out she was a lesbian. Ironic that she dated me, eh?”

“Hmm, yes. I can see how it can be ironic.”

And so she left me alone, lying on my hospital bed.