Gray washed world
Overexposed
You can watch your own
Comings and goings
Moving silently through
Never disturbing
The monochrome
Almost like
You were never
Even
There
This actually makes me feel sad. Especially the part you bring out about `never having been there.' I am a humble person, yet myself, like everyone I suppose want to make a mark. The pic is very lifeless, yet a common one. This makes me think that I need to leave a lasting impression on those I care about. I hope I can.
The staccato lines and closure gave this great impact. It made me go back and read it again, putting emphasis on those last four lines...just the way you intended. Awesome piece!
I have asked the same questions often. Does one life matters? I saw thousand dead soldiers and we(My unit) put them into body bags at death Valley. I tried not to look at their faces. If you did. Made me wonder. Who decide death, who decide life? I believe Green. We do have purpose. Took me 36 years to find mine and now I have five grandchildren. Someone wrote somewhere. "Do one thing you love daily. Be a force of kindness, not a force of negative. Thank you for your powerful thoughts. You made me think dear poet.
Coyote
Interesting Green,
I believe this may be the first poem of yours that I am reviewing??
Anyway, the sad view of life so reminds me of some of the poems I wrote when I was in my 20’s
Things changed as I got older and I now see beneath the gray and find colors…not always ofcourse.
Lisa, now in Spain
Very good, concise and striking. At first, talking about the "Grey washed" and "Overexposed" people of the View show. As it unfurled, it became so much more- it gave a melancholy but appeasing sentiment to our place in this world. Well done.
The world can indeed seem a drab place, and our small places in it meaningless. This, however, is the view from the surface alone. Our challenge is to look within, beneath the monochrome. There may be more color than you think in there.
I like this poem, it has a lot to say in only a few words and can be interpreted in a lot of different ways. For me it makes me think of how depression and pain wash your entire world in gray, feeling like maybe, you're not even there and there's not a point to anything. Really well done.
We all live in the gray, don't we? Without color, we just long to be noticed by a fellow traveler, but alas, we sink into gray monotony. Thanks for adding some gray to my colors.
an interesting follow up to ...
'Gray washed world
Overexposed'
that causes me to think no to ponder the question asked ... is this all there is
a most engaging thought that causes me to analyze every answer i have
you possess a powerful pen
there are many to follow up reading in your library
thanks
I'm living in the good ol' south of the US of A. Professionally, I'm an engineer and I guess that means I'm supposed to know things. I don't always. I write because I can, and because I can write word.. more..