Tue, Oct 25 1:30 pm

More fish in the sea.

I just realized I have to wish my cousin Steven happy birthday.

Anyway, haven't spoken to Anthony since we broke up. I tried texting him on Friday - I apologized for being unreasonable (which I don't think I was, but that's beside the point - I just wanted us talking again) - but he didn't respond.

On Saturday I woke up with the same horrible feeling. I skyped with Doug while Brandon was asleep on his floor and Candi was in the shower. I told him how lonely and homesick I felt, and how I felt like doing nothing all day again. But I had auditions to do and homework to finish. He told me he felt bad for being unable to do anything about it.

Candi came out of the shower when Doug logged off to eat. She overheard me say I didn't want to do anything and told me she was there to listen and to watch sappy movies with. I forget what was said directly after that, but it ended with me breaking in front of her. I didn't feel comfortable crying for as long and hysterically as I cried for Anthony, but I cried nonetheless. It ended with me saying I had to go to auditions. Even if I didn't feel like facing the world, I had to get out.

It was a mass audition for multiple senior student films. All the film and dramatic writing majors had to make a movie. They needed actors - even non-SCAD students were encouraged to audition. I saw children 5-13 years old and adults in their 40s. There was this one guy there who had a bunch of guys with cameras following him - they were making a documentary of his life. They filmed an interview with me. I felt kinda bad because I had nothing to contribute.

"Have you done this before?"

"No."

"How have your auditions gone so far?"

"I haven't auditioned for anything yet."

"Nervous?"

"Not really."

That was pretty much the interview.

My auditions were overall so-so. The process wasn't the best. We had to read from sides and react to whatever person was reading the other lines. The guys who read the other lines were usually low on energy - didn't give me anything to work with. I'm hoping I get called back for something anyway. I'm banking on all the other actors' auditions being as mediocre as mine.

I nailed one, though. Echoed Eulogies is the name of the film. I auditioned as a woman who loses her husband. I had to read the eulogy and get al emotional. I was awesome - I cried. The director was obviously impressed - very enthusiastic.

"Wow, that was the best one yet. Thank you! You will definitely here from us."

That made me happy. The director was very good looking, so that was a definite plus. Patrick Rippman, 22 years old. I stalked his facebook when I got back to my dorm, so I know he's single and interested in women. I guess that doesn't really matter since I'm not actually single, but still, a girl can flirt and fantasize, can't she?

I don't usually facebook stalk people. In fact, this was my first time, so I feel I have the right to finally indulge.

Speaking of indulging, Candi and I had deep fried moonpie again that night. ^_^

We went to Riverstreet the night after. Candi invited her friend Ronda, a 20-something year old student from another college in Savannah. They met when Candi went on one of her five-mile walks.

She was supposed to meet us at one of the squares at 9:00. We were waiting for her there when Candi got a text saying she would be 30 minutes late. At close to 9:30, Ronda was looking for her keys. Meaning she hadn't even left the house yet. I was pretty annoyed - when you set up a time to meet someone, you shouldn't keep them waiting if you can help it. But I wasn't going to hold it against her.

We moved from waiting for her at a square to waiting for her on Riverstreet. Hardly anyplace was open by then, and that was another reason I was annoyed. At least earthbound was open - that made me happy. I like looking at the masks and jewelry and New Age stuff. We got to meet the managers. They were dressed as zombies, though they'd deny it if you asked. I think they were flirting with me, which made my day.

Then I found out one of them was engaged and his fiance was right next to him. So while he probably was just being friendly, I'm still pretty sure the other one was flirting. He kept trying to scare me. And he seemed happy when I tried on belly dancing atire. After I changed back into my normal clothes, he asked if I wanted to buy it. I said no, he put it back for me. Candi explained how when we were here last, Maya and I convinced her to try it on, so now it was my turn.

After we were done looking around, we remained in the shop a while longer to chat with the managers. The engaged one and his fiance showed an interest in reading my stuff so I referred them to webook.com (I don't refer people I personally know to writerscafe, for obvious reasons) (that is, I don't want them reading my journal).

When he went to check out some other customers, the other manager circled back to me. A new song came on the radio, and at the same time we started dancing. I can't dance - it was a simple, goofy little dance I did. His was similar. He was like, "I like your style."

Having worked here for a while, he probably knows all the songs played like the back of his hand. One of the lyrics was "take my hand," which he said to me before they were sang, holding his hand out. At first I was confused, but I took it anyway. When he spoke out the rest of the lyrics, though, I caught on.

He reminds me of Alex F. from home, but milder. Very outgoing and flirtatious, even the same childish grin. Except Alex, while obviously joking, is far more graphic/physical in his flirtatious approach.

Ronda showed up later. We met her outside a candy shop, one of the few other places that was open. I ate chocoloate/oreo-covered marshmallows.

She's a nice person, Ronda. Sociable, kind-hearted. We didn't talk long, but that's what I got from her.

This morning I woke up with a plan. Candi was looking at rose quartz jewelry while we were at Earthbound. That stone is said to help in all matters of love, including the mending of broken hearts. She needs that. Because she didn't buy anything, I went on a walk immediately after she left for class and I got showered and dressed. It wasn't as cold as I thought it would be outside. The sun was out and it was awesome and windy. It seriously made me giddy. I needed it.

When I entered Earthbound I found the non-engaged manager on the phone. He wasn't dressed as a zombie today. I smiled and waved as I entered. He did the same, opening an arm for a hug. It wasn't weird - I felt so familiar with him already. So friendly. I hugged him. I then went immediately to the rose quartz bracelets, picked up a little box, and went to check out. Manager was off the phone by then. I kind of wanted to stay and chat longer, but I was paranoid about being late to class.

When I paid for the bracelet I showed him my student ID for a discount. He told me my picture was pretty. It was a picture from prom - of course I was pretty. I was short a penny for the bracelet. He took care of it, which was sweet. Is he so nice and friendly to everybody, or am I just one of the special ones?

Time for drawing class. Yippee.

Author's Note

In case anyone's confused, I'm at a college in historic Savannah.

Reviews

[Kyle]

Very cool! I feel like I can keep up this way. You sounds like a cool girl. Anthony sounds like he has issues?

I am sure you will be fine. I was happy to see that apparently you can really act too?

[Eagle Cruagh]

Read every word.
Very well written.'
Yes, you should be very careful of
the people you meet.
------Eagle Cruagh