Sun, Aug 28, 11:53pm

Here's what happened this week, in a nutshell.

It's finally been a week. I haven't been waiting to write - it's just that nothing worth writing's happened.

I got my license a few days ago. I don't think I'm gonna use it anytime soon - I don't have a car or anyplace to go, but I guess it's good to have anyway. It's weird. I thought the test would be a lot more difficult, considering I only really practiced two days beforehand. Then I heard of all the people who didn't pass the first time. I'm really surprised. Did I have it easy or something? Did they see that I was 18 and take pity on me? Was my test-lady just really nice? She seemed like a cheerful person, but still. All I did was blinker the crap out of every turn, stop before every stop sign, not hit any cones/people, and do that ridiculous look-over-your-shoulder-instead-of-through-your-reaview-mirror-to-back-up thing.

When I was finished, I texted Doug and made it seem as though I didn't get it. He did the same thing to me when he got his, but I think I was more convincing. He felt bad and started getting all mushy for me. Then I told him I actually got it and he said, "Wait, what? I KNEW IT!"

A day later, I found out the rest of my friends had skype. So I added them. Found out my friend, Kaitie, was still dating icky Josh. She'd moved into college weeks before Doug did. She had a math test to study for, so she wasn't on long. Doug was doing some sort of tour thing, so it ended up just being me, Mikey, and Kait (not Kaitie). None of us had that premium-skype thing, so we could all video chat through that. We cheated and downloaded oovoo, which is free and let us do just that. Dug was doing some sort of tour, so it was just the three of us.

It was nice talking to everyone again. I hadn't seen much of them all summer, what with Kaitie always hanging with icky Josh and Kait and Mikey always working. Mikey aside, they were kind of getting on my nerves anyway. Chatting sort of helped us.

I think it was two nights after that when I video chatted with Doug again. We were talking like normal, like nothing was wrong. But we weren't saying anything - not of real significance, anyway. It was just the cutesy banter we always do. 

"I love you."

"*Gasp!* Weally?!"

"Yeah!"

"Wow!"

Etc. 

Then he said he had to go to sleep. Suddenly, I felt desperate and scared. I didn't want our conversations to be so downgraded and watered down as that. That was hardly a conversation - I wanted something with substance. This was...empty. 

I broke again, after five days of not crying. In a little side window, I saw myself and how my eyes got red and watery. The tears streamed down my face and my lips trembled uglily. But I didn't sob.

Finally, we spoke. I found out the reason he wanted to end the conversation so early, and that was because he, too, felt close to breaking. I didn't even realize. Yeah, I knew he missed me, but he seemed to be having a good time whenever I spoke to him. He seemed distracted enough. I reminded him that communication is the key to making this work - we have to be open and talk to one another. We've been doing well ever since.

I experienced hurricane Irene early this morning - like, three in the morning. Nothing came of it, though. All this hype, and we got nothing. I heard it was worse in other areas of New Jersey, though. Trees knocked over, power outages. Our power went out, but that was only for, what, five minutes.

There was an earthquake in Virginia a few days ago. It was weird - some of us felt it over here. I was up in my room, on my bed, using my laptop. My bed moved, like someone was pushing it from beneath, almost. I had no idea what was going on. Then I heard my chimes going. The windows weren't open, nor was the door. I thought I had a ghost. But I didn't. It was just an earthquake.

My cousin Elena was with her mom in Virginia when it happened. She told me they were in target when the ceiling started coming down and the shelves began to fall. The ran like hell and got out of there just fine.

Now here's a dream I had two nights ago. I'm writing it down now in case I forget. See, I like to remember at what point in my life I have strange dreams, because that can help decipher the meaning. 

It was a sex dream, I guess. Well, no, actually there was nothing sexual about it - the more appropriate term would be "nude-dream." It's sad, I only have these kinds of dreams about people I wouldn't actually want to have sex with.

So it was me and Brandon, Doug's best friend. I was trying to take a bath. He was taking a shower. The curtain was closed so we couldn't see one another. We did this on purpose, for privacy.

For whatever reason, I was having trouble with the tub. I kept losing balance - tipping forward. Laughing, I told Brandon about my problem. "We can switch if you want," he suggested.

"Yeah," I answered. Then privacy kinda went to hell when he opened the curtain. My gaze didn't fall below his waist, though, so I guess it was PG-13. In the dream I thought, "Well, uh, that curtain was there for a reason," but I shrugged it off and it was fine.

Then, as we were switching, we held one another. In the dream it made perfect sense, but now that I think about it, I have no idea why that was necessary. I can't remember if it was a balance-thing or if I just needed a hug. It was weird.

Not long after I woke up, I got a text from Doug. He had an awesome sex dream about me. I was jealous.

Author's Note

Totally not Anne Frank. Wow, the tags make this entry sound really kinky.

Reviews

[Q.Kennedy]

You seem frazzled, dear. I am glad you and Doug got to talk on a deeper level after all, I'm glad nothing came of the hurricane or earthquake- those are fun, aren't they?
: )

I hope things get better with missing Doug. Don't worry about letting emotion out at times, it's good for you!!!

Also, dreams are just an outlet for our brains. I bet you're feeling a bit unstable right now (thus the clumsiness in the bath), you're also probably feeling exposed (thus the nudity) or maybe transparent about your emotions and you're missing Doug- his friend may be a reminder of him.

Just a guess though.
: )

Things will get better, D.

[Kyle]

Mmmm. A twist?

;0)