In a Flicker of Light

When you realize time is almost up.

Here I stand gasping

And grasping for minutes

That slipped through my fingers

Too long ago.

I pushed the clock's hands

Thinking we had time.

I tore through weeks and months

And brought that day closer.

How many moments can we pack in an instant?

What can we do in a flicker of light?

My throat's closed and my chest is tight,

And I realize what this is.

It's the shock of seeing something

In the distance

Appear on your doorstep 

Before you can turn.

Author's Note

Open to any and all suggestions.

Reviews

[Legacy]

Green Regol,

The only suggestion I have for you is to keep writing, you have done an amazing job of word and phrase usage. Out of this world, it knocked me off of my chair; "how many moments can we pack in an instant?" wow.

Gasping for minutes that slipped through my fingers...this is an absolutely amazing line. To this I tip my hat and thank you for being a writer.

We all throw words on a page in hopes to make someone’s day or touch their heart for reasons we will never know. Today, it is your day... because you have done just that.

I am so happy I stumbled upon your work, here, and I will be back plenty more times to relive this happy moment (and possibly learn something, too).

Thank you for sharing,

Legacy

You should place this in Poetic Infusion contest, Enlightenment (if you haven't already submitted into it; if you have already, well, no wonder).

[zaneybear]

I genuinely love this piece it brings about a certain something that I just enjoy :)

[writtenfor]

"people always leave"

[WhiteWillow]

A wonderful write. The emotion pours through.

[The Analog Kid]

I feel a hurried feel throughout this piece (by design). I can actually imagine ending this with the third stanza or moving the last stanza to the forth.

Anyway...I enjoyed reading this:)

[rt farris]

i seldom review to offer constructive criticism. i review to let the writer know how the piece affected me. however, since you requested some suggestions, here's a go at it. :-)
the image of a person gasping and grasping in the first line sets me up to anticipate the image or metaphor being extended throughout the poem but that doesn't happen.as time passes in the poem, the gasping and grasping image seems to disappear. perhaps instead of "a fit of surprise ..." in stanza four, instead of "my heart stops", maybe something like "my breath stops ...." that would continue the imagery in first stanza and maintain the idea of the effect on the poem's character. that's it, i'm out.

[KAREN]

I enjoyed this thought provoking poem alot!

[Dalrymple]

well written and great word choice

[Vinod Kumar U K]

very nice reality of original love,