Forever Different

Adult survivors do not have the same outlook on life as non-abused adults.They grow up with a different view of many of the cornerstones of inter-human relationships and interactions.

Forever Different

 

Out of touch with my true emotions

Confused by sensations that I cannot explain

Shame, self-blame and all negative feelings

Turned inward are a problem, not easy to change…

 

The more I uncover through this process

The harder it is becoming to go backward

Forcing the boxes to close is hopeless

The locks are all broken and the seals are all cracked.

 

Sometimes the only way to manage a life

Is face to face confrontation it may be true

Know your devil and all that can entail

Find the freedom to lift your voice for the future…

 

What is the message I would leave him today

Is it fair not to tell him the why and the now?

I believe he needs the choice to ask forgiveness

Before his earthly days are all numbered, consumed.

 

This wounds me more than it will ever him

Dragging the past to the present is so hurtful

However I am a true survivor I pray

And my crying out to be heard leads me forward…

 

No matter the why I was the chosen

The result was an illicit, one-sided love to be sure

Saying no might have helped but we'll never know

That I was a child this I must never forget…

 

Children learn what it means to be adults

From the experiences our childhood provides

Today it is clear I am different

Trust �" to what is love? Oh, the questions I need ask…

 

And the walls �" high, impenetrable walls!

Securely behind them the child is still invisible

All that's important to me remains hidden

You would think I ‘d have known I am different…

 

It is today that my past meets the present

The hereafter can’t proceed without resolution

So into the dark I must venture once more

And clearly this is the road I must follow …

August 28, 2013

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Reviews

[Mockingbird]

a agree that you must face your demons and get closure for your past so you can finally let go. conveys despair and hurt. a great glimpse into someone's conscience.

[Gray Witch]

Thank you for your review ...