Chilling

Past meets Present

 

 

 

Chilling

 

Once upon a time, in a land oh so sublime

Lived everything beautiful, safe and serene.

But filaments of gossamer, hid high walls of remembering

A crossroads of sorts is what I fear it’s foretelling

Stumbling blindly I edge too close to the brink.

 

I need something to hang on to,

Something stronger than I am.

Time may be the healer, but deeply cut scars, still remain.

Reliving the past is, for me, no less horrific

But opening my eyes is the only way forward.

 

Did I ever feel whole, unafraid, voluble,

Minus the memories, which are still so hauntingly clear?

So why should this telling be so painful, my heart, clearly breaking?

Although I desire to reflect, find the answers, to know,

All the while, my mind screams, shut the door, sit back down!

 

Dreams of a day, fears put to rest,

Guilt vanquished I'll live, head held up high

But what if I destroy another in order to get here?

Will swapping our guilts condemn me forever

To exist inside a void, going quietly insane …

June 6, 2013

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Author's Note

As I sit here contemplating my present, I feel like I have fallen back into a deep pit and am trying to decide whether or not it is worth trying to once again surface, or if pulling the earth back down on top wouldn't be a better scenario for everyone concerned.