Honesty or Perception?

Does it really matter...?

Honesty

Or

Just Perception

 

Would you explain our shared past life's tapestries,

Or is it safe to speak my true mind openly?

Could empathy enrich my destitute soul,

While rememberings serve to doctor tired dreams

destroy and desecrate them utterly.

Words will be forever left unspoken

Demolished by time, ageless and forgotten.

 

"This is my reality born from blocking real adversity

Little did I know subconsciously forgetting the painful."

 

I needed something from you way back and when,

Desired and craved affection,

Complex reality, veiled and blurred.

Your choice was to use me as an object, obsession,

Collateral hurt is evident

Realistic and oh so visionary.

Prayers becoming nightmares, screams to your God

 

"Soul-seeking petitions resound oh so flattering.

Save me, I beseech thee, thy trusting servant, I be."

 

My eld, hidden, in a human suit, safe beyond the pale.

Unlike you, our mingling haunts my life daily

Through the decades, actions marr living.

Woke up one day, realized that nobody really knows me,

No one, not really, not inside, just out.

Bright sandals, a colourful façade,

Whittled away, decayed from the inside to the out.

 

"And here I am left as a shell of what was once too human.

Does this never concern you, or has age wiped your slate clean?"

 

Strength, character assembled from lessons long past

Thanks to my abductor, bad taste in my mouth.

Imagine life had I not known you?

Today it is hard to relate when asked if I'm angry

Query is moot, but I can imagine.

Stolen, abandoned, confused

The child you saw, lured, befriended so many years ago.

 

"Anger brings forth hate and hate is a pestilence

Flowing from affliction, is a heart made of steel."

 

I should show more angst but my brain just cannot compute

Touch was important to me way back then.

Consuming lust is what I recall

Trying to remember, just makes me uncomfortable.

Sad missing is intimacy lacking.

I must be crazy, infatuated thoroughly

Shouldn't it all be laid to rest, after this long time ago.

 

"I see you as in the past, vibrant, strong, a predator

But not to my longing heart, wondering furtively"

 

Unsated, the outcome dissolves in confusion.

Truth, honesty and lies tear me asunder.

Only my dreams, recollections and fancies

I'd have preferred to have remained naively,

Leaving me empty, desiring to render

Time and life split, latency ended.

Now the chasm a reality forms whirlpools in memories.

 

"Once there was a child, young, innocent and trusting

Now is a woman, jaded and questioning."

 

From under a veil peeking, back at life lived

Lexicons ever left unspoken

Demolished by time and forgotten.

Conflicting memories always swirl to the surface.

Trying to guess what would have been actually,

Might have been a novel hereafter

Coming to terms, past, present and future collide.

 

"Now my particular story is told, the verses resound

Re-telling a simple matrix of a life not done..."

 

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Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I do believe. Past life had place us where we should be. This blog is a wide open discussion. I do believe in karma. I learn the hard way to be kind and walk softly. Matrix of life is our decision. One wrong or right turn can make a life complete or hell. The thoughts were very good. Made my old mind think this early morning. Thank you.
Coyote