BULLYING 101

Always speak up... It is the only defense against bullying!

I have seven grandchildren in schools here in Niagara. All have their own personalities. Some are boisterous and have a keen interest in everything around them, well-mannered and polite, empathetic to a fault. Others are a teeny bit shy and withdrawn but happy, personable and articulate when you get to know them. One is a girly-girl and exudes charm, loves fashion and is smart as a whip. They are all different, but all have one thing in common. NEVER have any of them ran afoul of school rules. Inwardly I laugh and sometimes refer to a couple of them, including this one in particular, as “Hall Monitors”…

Last year one was the victim of three bullies. The school did nothing except suggest to the child being bullied that maybe ‘he’ was over reacting and if there were three of them saying they weren’t doing it, well … three against one….You do the math!

Really, REALLY?

This year this same child who put up with that torment and stood his ground was now facing a teacher who picked on every little thing and centered him out daily. Nothing important mind you, but enough to have him come home ‘sick’ in the middle of the day. He loves school and never willingly misses a day so we knew he was very upset..

This time it was for his infringement of the rules by having ‘body contact’ with his partner in line. This brushing of his arm against the other child resulted in the teacher having a “talk” with him and embarrassing the child once again in front of his classmates.

In the first two weeks of school this fall there were a plethora of daily occurrences. Once he yawned, said ‘sorry’ but the teacher said he was being rude. Once he picked up a paper of a classmate that had fallen and returned it to him. The teacher felt he was deliberately undermining him because he was speaking at the time.

They had been back at school for exactly 15 days and my list was endless. What does one do when teachers bully?

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Epilogue: After his mother went in and spoke to the teacher he realized he had been handling the situation wrongly and changed his approach. The proof? All has been going well, no coming home ‘sick’ mid-day and a glowing report documenting such at the end of term.

Bullying cannot operate in a spot light. Stay aware and speak out!

Reviews

[Clove]

I was bullied for being autistic. But to me instead of calling it autism, i call it artism in a postive way. and i no longer care what people think about me.

[Gray Witch]

Excellent idea. Thanks Lauren

[Clove]

Your welcome!

[CecilA]

I like your approach on the subject and making us aware that there are bullies in the teaching staff and probably in administration. Difficult to believe someone would want to work with children and then bully them.

We cannot assume that the situation will resolve itself. Your daughter took the proper approach and went right to the source of the problem.

Our son, Allen, faced a similiar situation with our granddaughter, Kaitlyn. She's the 13 year old with cancer and crippling in her legs and feet caused chemo. One day in the fall of 2012 Kaitlyn was on the playground and went down the slide with the help of her friends. Unfortunately, the slide ended in an area with about 4 inches of wood chips. She couldn't make her way from the end of the slide back to the blacktop. She pleaded with her teacher to assist and the teacher told her 'That's not my job.' A couple of 2nd grade girls help Kaitlyn to the black top.

When Allen went to pick Kaitlyn up from school, she related the incident to him. He immediately approached the teacher and asked her side of the story. Her explaination was that she was tired of doing all the work on the playground. And that Kaitlyn was too much of a burden for her to deal with daily.

Well, Kaitlyn is in a class specifically for children with physical disabilities. The teacher is a specialist who is trained to deal with children with disabilities.

Allen told the teacher that he was never informed that Kaitlyn was a problem. In addition, he said that regardless of her problems with Kaitlyn that as a fellow human being letting a disabled child struggle like that was cruel and heartless.

He and his wife requested a meeting with the principal and the teacher to resolve the problem. When he arrived at home, the teacher phoned him and apologized for her actions and requested that the meeting be cancelled. Allen stood his ground and the meeting took place.

The teacher admitted that she had made a terrible mistake and apologized to Kaitlyn and promised never to do anything like it again. She admitted that there was no problem with Kaitlyn; she was just having a bad day. The school administration gave her a written reprimand to be in her personnel file for one year.

There haven't been any problems with the teacher since. She volunteered to tutor Kaitlyn at home without pay during her recuperation from her surgery for 6 weeks. We hope that she is sincere and not just being nice until the reprimand is removed from her file.

I don't understand how people can hurt anyone and especially children.

I appreciate your stories which attempt to make our world a better place and challenge we readers to take action accordingly.

[Gray Witch]

Thanks Cecil. I guess my advocacy penchant is because of the lack of help I found when young. I will not let my grand kids suffer and was always observant and involved when my children were growing up too...Some people find that intimidating...(s)Tough...

[DrD]

The first time my daughter had an experience of bullying was when every day, when walking home from school, three boys would psuh her, knock her books from her hands and say some pretty filthy things to her. The one day six of my very burly friends pulled up in two cars and blocked the three bullies from running. They basically told them that if they even spoke to my daughter again, they would be seen next on milk cartons. Problem solved.

[David Scott]

I love that a parent actualy got involved! I am sick of hearing that children need to toughen up and "learn" to handle life's challenges. Our children are not dome random wild beast to survive the battle of evolution!
Great story!

[Ahmad Cox]

So true and endemic of our society. I know I was the target when I was younger as well but I believe that it is only through speaking out that we can truly call to light the issue

[Samuel Dickens]

I have great respect for school teachers, but as revealed here, a few of them might be better in another profession. I was bullied a few times when young and have zero tolerance for them.

[Gray Witch]

Me too. but when it happened to me it wasn't really called that...Anyway, as my children well know (and now my grand kids too...lol) I was and remain an advocate and am not afraid to speak out when it's warranted. I'm just glad my children have the same vocal inclination.

[Claire Twinn]

As an ex teacher this horrifies me, but I can admit that it goes on. I'm glad the outcome was good but any teacher who treats a child like this should not get away with it and must be made to understand that he must never do it again. If you had a list I would suggest taking it to the head teacher too.

[william keepers]

A really good message here Leslie! Yes, teachers can be bullies too, especially since some of them take there position of authority too far. Like any bully they prey on who they believe are weak for they fear the weakness in themselves. It is good his mother went in and stood up to the teacher, for when such bullies must face true strength, they usually cave quickly. Thanks Leslie!