Driving is Child's Play

Driving 101 - Not!

My sister, Dennie is a very bad driver. They gave her a license even though she drove the wrong way down a One Way street while taking her test. She used to let her cats have free reign in her car, while driving 50 miles down a busy highway. It didn’t seem to bother her that they were lying down across her line of vision on the dashboard.

 

Once she missed a snow plow by inches, backing out of my driveway and didn’t even see it. The plow was stopped for a long time in front of our house. I’m sure it was so the driver could peel his fingers off the steering wheel and start breathing normally again. Have you seen how massive snow plows are?

 

One time she grabbed my steering wheel while I was driving because “she thought” a squirrel looked as if it might make a dash across the road in front of us. I am her older sister by four years and as such I have always thought of her as scatter-brained, clumsy and disconnected with the real world. In truth she is an intellectual, a perpetual student with more degrees than most people have email addresses, but with limited people and driving skills. I have never allowed her in the front seat of my car again. Dennie and a car are a scary combination..

 

Anyway, the year her son Kyle turned nine, my daughter Siobhan and I were taking him out Christmas shopping. Forgetting he was there, he overheard his cousin and I discuss “Dennie’s” poor driving habits. We thought he was playing a video game and not paying attention to us until he said, “Aunt Leslie, you’re not talking about my mom, are you?”

 

Without missing a beat, I responded, “No, of course we aren’t. Von and I are talking about UNCLE Denny.” Uncle Denny was my other daughter’s husband.

 

However, now curious about how he saw his mother’s driving, I asked him, “Your Mom doesn’t bend down to pick up papers off the floor while she’s driving on the highway, does she?” I once passed her while her car appeared to be driverless, barreling down a two-lane country highway in mid winter, hence the question. She told me later she’d been picking something up off the floor.

 

Anyway, he thought for a few minutes and then replied, in all innocence, “Nope., but she plays Connect Four with me.”

 

Kyle is now twenty and drives himself around. Maybe now I can stop holding my breath? Naw…

Reviews

[Zeek4]

Yes, I see some similarities between your sister and my dad as far as driving is concerned. I have another friend, who like your sister, is very educated and is a history professor in Manhattan. As a youth he once rolled his car in the driveway. I have a story about his driving called CHRIST A CHICKEN if you are interested in another driving story. Thanks for taking the time to read mine.

[william keepers]

God watches out for the scatter-brained and disconnected it seems... I won't even get into some of the things I have done while driving! A nice little tale GW. perhaps I will heed the warning, If I can remember!

[Gray Witch]

LOL... Luckily she is driving roads many miles removed from you ....

[william keepers]

Yes, when scatter-brains meet it all too often exceeds the sum of their parts!

[Robert Lincoln]

Cute story - clever interaction with your young nephew.

[Samuel Dickens]

My initial thoughts were to say, "I'll pray for your sister". But you know what? If she's survived this long without a serious accident, it's obvious that she's being watched over by a very dedicated guardian angel. Maybe it's the same one that has saved my bacon about a million times.

[Gray Witch]

True...Very true ...

[Claire Twinn]

A nice glimpse of funny family dynamics, it's our differences and quirks that hold us together sometimes!

[kimmy]

I know someone who drives just like your sister.. I so enjoyed this story:) I know I hate riding with this person and I will take my own car, but when you said does your mom bend over and get papers from the floor while driving, I thought he was going to say yes. But he said she plays connect four with him, I was like oh my...lol
I hope her son drives better:)

[Ahmad Cox]

I loved this story. It brought a smile to my face. I love the way you can truly take the reader on a journey with your stories.

[Gray Witch]

Thank you Ahmad. That is so sweet of you to say. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Richard Man]

I enjoyed the glimpse into the world of sisterly love. The style was easy to absorb, like comfort food, for me pork and leek sausages and mashed potato and gravy. I also like the innocent denuement, pudding apple pie and custard. Thanks.

[Gray Witch]

Ha..ha...sisterly love...Dennie (Denise) is a twin and her twin(Dale) is now wondering what I have planned as a 'story' about her ...rotfl...

[Richard Man]

Have a look at my "Just So Story" another personal story with very different weather to your wintery icy tale.

[DrD]

Your stories have that Garrison Keillor touch that I have always loved. They teeter on the edge of absurdity even though they're true. I truly enjoy them and thank you for presenting them to us.

[Gray Witch]

Thank you very much for your kind words. I have a lot to learn but do enjoy being able to post them here for others to read and review.

[Tex]

we had a kid crash off the road in front of our house because he was picking up a coke he had dropped on the floor. You can't make this stuff up. loved your write. thanks for pointing out these two gems.

[Gray Witch]

LOL... No, you certainly cannot.... Gives new truth to one of my favourite expressions: "Did you get your Driver's License out of a Cracker Jack's box?"

[Tex]

you are a great writer... think book... make sure you let all of us know when it is out... I read a 1/2 a chapter to my wife most evenings, right now it is "Out of Africa" I would love to add your first book to the list.

[Gray Witch]

I have started one... sort of.... not sure how it will go... I have 4 Chapters so far on here... They are not short but nothing like some of the ones here. I really don't enjoy the huge 5,000 word chapters...Mine are more along the line of 850 words...Stealing Christmas Chapter One...

[Tex]

great... I will add it to our list when I catch up...