Modern Versus Traditional

Truly out of the mouth of babes. . .

Traditional version:

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

My grandson Evan is eleven and is in Grade 6 at the local Catholic school. Last week I was driving him and his younger brother, Gibson to school when Evan looked at me and said in a serious voice, “So Grandma, our teacher asked us to update the Hail Mary, make it more ‘modern’.”

 

Not taking my eyes off the road I responded,” Really?”. He was lucky he got any response, after all it was 8:30 AM, I was concentrating on getting them to school and not in an accident and I am not a morning person. I much prefer to read and write till the wee hours of the morning. However, I digress.

 

We stopped for a school guard. You know who they are based on their neon coloured vests and their penchant for forever testing fate by jumping out in front of moving vehicles with only a over-sized paddle in their hands to stop the 2 tonne vehicle racing at them. Waiting while the street crossers made it the rest of the way down the block, I looked over at Evan, nodding at him to continue his story.

 

“Well,” he said, “first I took out all the ‘old sounding’ words like thee, thou and thy and replaced them with ‘you’….”

 

I nodded. Sounded good to me.

 

“Then I changed the word womb to uterus.”

 

I did not laugh. I couldn’t talk, but I didn’t laugh….

 

 

Evan’s modern version:

Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your uterus, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Reviews

[redflutterby]

Heeheeheee..... I love kids!!!! Everything so simple and open with them!!!

[Gray Witch]

Yes, I use them to ground me ... LOL

[redflutterby]

Yes they definitely ground you but they also remind us how to be young and free. And grandkids are the best. Just a special kind of love there!!! :-)

[Gray Witch]

Hmm.... So true.... but I really don't remember ..

I do enjoy them though ...

[Dee Okolotowicz]

Very funny, indeed, or as Art Linkletter would have said, "Kids say the darnedest things."

[Gray Witch]

Good quote. I remember him well...

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

What a sweet little bit to read... a slice of real life. Quite appealing. Captured the mood well... Then that cute chuckle at the end. Thanks for coming by my page. Ill be reading more of yours. Not enough humor and stories here. Glad to find you :)

[Gray Witch]

Thank you... Sometimes I wish I wrote poetry because everyone seems to 'read' those.... LOL Personally I like writing short humorous things especially after writing something a bit darker... Than ks again... Glad to meet you too.

[Samuel Dickens]

That Evan is a pro at getting a message across! Someone should pay him big bucks to re-write the whole King James bible.

[Gray Witch]

LOL.... All I could think was "how does HE know what that is"...VBG

[Tex]

LOL I just love this... of course the updated version is going to all my friends... but i really liked this:

... and their penchant for forever testing fate by jumping out in front of moving vehicles with only a over-sized paddle in their hands to stop the 2 tonne vehicle racing at them.

can you say... Erma Bombeck? (sp? remember i am dyslexic so just laugh if I mangled it) well her writing came to mind as I read this section and the piece as a whole. Great write.

[Gray Witch]

Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it. I can't write poetry so thought some short pieces might get read by those uncomfortable with the longer 'short' stories ...

[Tex]

lol right ... i guess i would like to read the hyper short stories... ;-)

[Claire Twinn]

I like your description of your reactions to the child's thought- very humorous and telling! I was a bit disappointed with Evan's final version though, perhaps an older kid might take it a step further:
Hey Mary, you're cool
and God's your mate
You're a hot chick
and you sprogged Jesus
better pray cos we're bad uns
and could die any minute

[Gray Witch]

R+O_T_F_L....

LOL... Evan is a Hall Monitor...a name I have given to two of my grand children. They follow rules explicitly, to the letter, never deviate, always are respectful and sincere. I have a grandaughter Norah, she's a twin (Jacob) and is seven. Now she takes after my eldest daughter, her Mother Meegan and can be VERY sarcastic, satrical and ironic. Meegan always is wondering out loud where she gets it from... I do not laugh. I bite my tongue, but I know.....I could see her writing something like you have posted ..oh yeah

[Claire Twinn]

They sound great kids, I love the ones with character. My bit above is based on what some of the naughtier kids I taught might have written- gotta love 'em!

[DrD]

A delightful write well worth the read. Thank you for this one, it came at a time when I needed a laugh.

[Gray Witch]

Glad you enjoyed it...LOL...You just can't make these things up ...

[william keepers]

For me this is extremely funny! Jesus has a uterus??
Perhaps it is because I am a former Catholic that I laughed so hard. Thanks for writing this!

[Gray Witch]

I laugh every time I think of it ......

[Ahmad Cox]

This story brought a smile to my face. You truly are a storyteller. Its amazing how you brought life to this little incident.

[David Scott]

Great! At least he was respectful... Our children "know" so much. We need to listen to them more. Thank you for sharing this.

[Gray Witch]

Evan is a "hall monitor"... a phrase I coined for a couple of my grand kids who obey the RULES... always (g)...Come to think of it they could be called true Canadians too...LOL