corner poem

Chicago. One year ago.

Should I pretend I don’t see you over there.

Should I act like you’re not crying

Would you like me to not ask if you’re okay

There’s something wrong when I can’t come in

From the beginning you asked me if I loved you

When I said yes, you gave me you

You gave up the world surrounding you 

And you thought I was everything

In the end I was the one who got fucked

And now you, you broken hearted lonely girl

You’re the one ignoring me in the corner

The only one who cares is me

So, why don’t you stand up

Why don’t you come and grab me

Why don’t you make your lips touch mine

I can’t stand to see you cry so ask me

Ask me if you look okay

Tell me you haven’t seen me

Tell me you’ve missed me

Look into my eyes

Please

Just do

This for

Me just 

Once I 

Promise

It’ll be 

Okay.

So this lament is about you

For it is you I haven’t seen

Its you I’ve missed

But this isn’t true

I wish you were in that corner

I wish you were crying

If I had some excuse

I would speak to you and give you my name

But no, it’s me in that corner

Im the one who can’t get out

Im the one whose past is still his future

If I could, I’d escape you

I need to run away, I need to disappear

If I can find everything that’s nothing like you

Maybe then can I finally leave you behind 

But I doubt I’ll ever find complete solace

Reviews

[EricGodsil]

All in all it seems like a pretty deep write. I had to read it a couple times to make sure I was understanding everything. Well, relatively of course. The only thing that really stuck out was stanza 6, it just did not feel natural to me; however I am not implying it does not belong or is not "right". It just seemed to slow me down with no adjustment period. Like an emergency break.

Other than that I really enjoyed this. I could relate to this or so I would like to think. I feel others will be able to feel the emotion in this as well and I believe that is kind of the point. So really good write and keep it up.

[Coyote Poetry]

We always hold on to wishes and hope for better ending. Many a night I try to drink away memory and sadness. Bad part you must wake-up alone and feeling like s**t. I like the twist in this poem. Usually in the lonely bars are men with a lot of sad tales to talk about and wishing for better endings. Last lines is fact.
"Maybe then can I finally leave you behind
But I doubt I’ll ever find complete solace"
Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote